The Darkening: Chapter Fifteen

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.

Jysella slowly comes to, tucked between the crisp sheets, the clean antiseptic smell telling her that she is in a hospital. A dull ache in the back of her head makes it hard to think straight, but Jysella can't help but feel like something is missing, that some fundamental part of her is gone.

She lets out a small groan, and someone places a cool, moist rag on her forehead. She opens her eyes and finds herself looking at her mother. "Mom?"

Mirax gives her an abbreviated smile, one filled with equal parts happiness and pain. "Shhh. Rest yourself, and save your strength."

Jysella nods her head, and then the image of Ben screaming in pain flashes through her mind, and she sits up, the world wavering in and out as her body rebels at the quick movement. She grabs her mother's arm. "Ben! Is Ben okay?"

Mirax calmly pushes Jysella back down onto the bed. "Calm down Jysella. Master Skywalker will be here shortly to talk to you I'm sure. He'll answer your questions."

Jysella can feel the tears as they start to flow. "Please tell me that Ben is okay. Please?"

Mirax looks at her daughter for a second, and then turns from her, going to the door. "I'll send Luke in."

Then she is gone, leaving Jysella alone in the room. Then a horrible realization strikes Jysella, she could not feel her mother at all in the Force.

She could not feel the Force.

She reached out, but where once a great, warm rushing river of life, love, happiness and hope greeted her there was nothing but an echo of the Force, a dim reflected memory of what used to be. She slips out of the bed, steadying herself on the nightstand as vertigo grips her. Then she walks to the window, looking out at the grounds surrounding the medical center.

In the distance she can see the Jedi Temple, and notices the long blackened furrows scribbled down the side of the various towers. The sound of the door opening behind her drags her attention away from the temple, and she slowly turns to see Master Skywalker standing in the doorway.

"How are you feeling Jysella?"

"How's Ben? Please tell me."

Luke sighs, and closes the door gently behind him. Then he slips into the lone chair in the room. "How much do you remember since you returned from your trip to the Errant Venture?"

Jysella covers her face with her hands as images assault her. Her voice is a weak whisper. "Everything." She slides her hands down from her face. "Master, what is wrong with me? Why did I do those things?"

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

Jysella starts crying once more, her entire body shaking with her remorse. "Please tell me he's okay. Tell me that I was able to save him; that I didn't destroy everyone around me."

Pain flickers across his face, and he takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. "We're not sure yet if he's going to make it. He's not responding to Bacta, and Cilghal is trying everything possible." Luke glances at the wall for a second, and then back at her. "Can you walk?"

Jysella looks up at him, wiping away her tears, even as new ones appear. "I-I think so."

"Then follow me."

Luke stands, and leaves the room, Jysella walking behind him gasps as she leaves her room, the Force flooding into awareness again. She turns back for a second, and then once more follows Luke. The entire trip, she keeps her head lowered and does not ask any questions. They arrive at their destination, and Jysella starts to bite her lower lip. Fear grips her heart as she stares into the vault which once held the Dark Side artifacts.

Jysella rubs her shoulders, attempting to warm herself. "It's so cold."

Luke nods his head. "The Dark Side of the Force is strong in there. Into the vault you must go."

Jysella feels like Luke had just slapped her. "In there?"

"Yes."

"What's in there?"

Luke almost breaks a smile, but Jysella has the feeling that the almost smile is not meant for her. "Only what you take with you." Then Luke leans against the wall, and closes his eyes.

Jysella watches him for a moment, and then turns and steps into the room.

The dark feels palatable to her, like something alive crawling over her skin, clawing at her, trying to find a haven for its evil. Though she knew that the entire temple was climate controlled, the chill she felt in the hallway just grew stronger. The feeble light from the hallway, almost seems swallowed whole by the room, adding to the feelings of despair haunting her.

She finally makes it to the center of the room, and a dark shape emerges from the shadows. The shape glides towards her, and she notices that whoever it is, is wearing a heavy cloak with a cowl that obscures the face. Terror grips Jysella's heart and she reaches down for her saber, before realizing that it's not there.

The voice that comes from the cloaked figure is harsh, and barely above a whisper. "Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall free me."

Then the figure throws back the hood, and Jysella finds herself staring at her own face, except her features are twisted by anger and hate, and her eyes are yellowed and bloodshot. Jysella steps backwards as her shade steps towards her.

Finally she throws her arms up over her head and sinks to her knees. "No! Go away!"

"I can't I am a part of you, just as you are a part of me."

Jysella looks up. "What?"

The shade kneels down in front of her, taking up her hand. "Ben's sacrifice saved you from the Dark, from becoming me. Yet I will always be there, lurking just beneath the surface, ready and waiting to get out. Won't you let me out?"

Jysella nods her head in understanding. "And it is up to me, to make sure Ben's sacrifice was not in vain. To ensure that I keep you where you belong."

With a smile, the shade fades away, disappearing as if she was nothing more than a mist. Jysella stands up and walks back into the hall, her head no longer bowed. Luke is leaning against the wall, his blue eyes shining.

"I failed when presented with such a test. I am proud that you did not."

"What did it all mean Master?"

"It means that you have a lot of hard work ahead of you, as you finish training to be a Jedi. A lot of hard work as you fight daily with yourself to keep the Dark Side in check, to keep it from engulfing you."

Jysella bows in Luke's direction. "Thank you Master."

Luke turns and walks away and up the stairs. Jysella slowly spins around and stares once more into the dark, into that seductive room. Then she turns from it, and walks up the stairs and into the light.