An Insignificant Thing

The wind swirled through the plain, rustling leaves and grass. It was a caress, a gentle touch, that traced swirls across the exposed skin of her arms and forehead.

It almost felt like the touch of an old, long-lost lover.

The rustle of the grass was a whisper in her ears.

It almost sounded like the voice from her past. Someone whose voice she had not heard from in far too long. Someone whose voice she would do anything--even fall to the Dark--in order to hear again. Someone whose voice she had fallen to the Dark in order to hear just one more time.

She stared out at the empty savanna, before lifting her eyes to the curved ceiling in the distance.

It had taken her years, but she had finally arrived.

Ten years of hunting through the nether regions of the galaxy after her failure at Jacen's hands.

Ten years of searching, and struggling. Of pain and loneliness.

Ten years.

But she had succeeded. She had found the place where her heart had died.

She had found the place where her life had shattered.

She had found the place where her world had crumbled.

She had finally managed to find the dying remains of the Baanu Rass.

After over 25 years, she had finally returned, ready to face the ghosts of her past, ready to conquer them.

Jacen had taken her to a Baanu Rass all those years ago, but they had been out in the middle of space, in high orbit around Myrkr, not on the Koros-strohna itself.

She had gone to visit the Aing-Tii and she had learned what Jacen had teased her with. She had learned Flow Walking.

Clearing her mind, she she settled into a meditation pose.

With a slow exhale, she subsumed herself into the Force, feeling the Flow of Time as it tried to pull her forward. With a shift of her will, she trudged backwards, fighting the Flow, enforcing her will upon it, turning it backwards.

She knew that with the Force, all was possible.

She knew that with the Force, she would be able to go back in time.

She knew that with the Force, she would be able to unanchor herself from the present, and travel into the past.

She opened her eyes, and knew the Force was with her. All around her, she saw a mixture of Yuuzhan Vong and coral-implanted slaves.

And there in the midst of them was a group of Jedi.

They were young, nothing more than children, and not for the first time, she wondered why in the name of the Force, that Master Skywalker had allowed them to go on that insane mission.

Her eyes tracked them, and then she ignited her saber.

All movement stopped, and for the first time in nearly a decade, Tahiri Viela smiled.

As a fifteen year old apprentice, she had no concept of what a fully-trained Jedi would be capable of fighting like. Yes, she had seen the Masters fight one another, and even fight against the Yuuzhan Vong; but it was one thing to watch, and another thing entirely to be able to do such herself.

She became a blur.

Her saber flashed, and flashed.

It was a sheet of blue lightning, that tore apart Yuuzhan Vong warriors and coral-implanted slaves alike.

Finally, she stopped, and found herself standing amongst the Young Jedi. They stared at her, wide-eyed, and confused.

Then her heart began hammering in her chest, and she found it difficult to breath. Neither physiological action had anything to do with the battle she had just fought.

It was a reaction to what she saw. Who she saw.

Anakin.

He was standing between his sister and her own, younger self, and she noticed that he was holding his hand over the open, bleeding wound of his stomach. She knew that she had been too late, and without saying a word to any of them, she released her grip on the Force, and allowed the Flow of Time to pull her back to the present.

Time flowed around her, a jumbled mish-mash of potentials and possibilities. A cacophony of futures and pasts, and possible presents.

With a gasp, she stumbled forward, once again finding herself on the empty wind-swept plain of her present.

She was still in the slave-city from so many years ago, but now, those buildings had died, and just their mummified remains were left for her to see.

Then memories slammed into her.

They seared through her synapses, bright and shining and powerful.

Anakin proud and strong, even though he was wounded. Her still denying him that last kiss. His still dying. Him still throwing away his life away in a vain attempt to destroy a few dozen cases of voxyn clone embryos.

Tears flowed through her. Burning hot as they slashed down her face. She had sacrificed so much, only to still fail.

Then with a sad sigh, she realized the truth. She had attempted to change too much. Killing all of those warriors, intendents and slaves had been too much.

The Aing-Tii had taught her that the past could not be change significantly. That any significant changes would be corrected by the Force, and once more flow into the gentle Way of Time.

What they had not taught her, was what they meant by significant.

Tahiri knew that she did not need to make a significant change in order to bring about changes to the present.

She exhaled, and stood up, looking around her. Then she found what she was looking for, a small alcove, an entry way that led deeper into the Baanu Rass. Deep into its bowels, and the warrens where the wild, escaped voxyn had made their nests.

The warrens where the young Jedi had fled after that fatal fight when Anakin had been injured.

Gingerly, she walked through the warrens; the spicy scent of voxyn still hung heavy on the air, and the mummified remains of sterile eggs were arranged in nests of straw and dried grass, surrounded by the bones of their would-be parents.

It reminded her so much of her own life. A terrible waste. The end result of a terrible war. Pointless, vain hopes, that ended in dust and misery.

Finally, she found her destination: the mummified remains of the hovel where the young Jedi had spent a few hours trying to rest and sleep after the disaster within the slave village.

Smiling, she once more pulled the Force to her.

She twisted the Force, and imposed her sense of self upon the Flow of Time to force it to take her back to the past.

And it obeyed her will, depositing her into the time and place she desired.

She watched the hovel and waited, her robe pulled tightly over her head, helping her to hide in the shadows of the warrens.

She did not have to wait long.

Her younger self stepped out of the hovel, for what Tahiri knew was to be the first watch.

She stood up, and threw back the hood from her head and then walked forward.

The younger Tahiri glared at her, and then her eyes flickered across the scars that were still prominent on her forehead.

"Who's there?" The younger Tahiri asked as her hand slapped down to the saber on her belt.

"Hello, Tahiri," she said to herself.

Her younger self's eyes opened wider, "You... you're me!"

Tahiri chuckled slightly. "From a certain point of view."

"Wha... how? Why?" her younger self asked in a stammering voice.

Tahiri smiled. "It's a long story, and not that important."

"Why is it not important? I'm confused..."

"That's all right," she replied calmly. "What you need to know, what I've came back to tell you is this... whatever happens, kiss Anakin."

"Why?"

"Because love can ignite the stars. Love can change everything. Love can make the strongest, and most canny fighters, try harder and do better."

A frown flashed across her younger face. "I don't understand..."

Tahiri smiled sadly as she started to release her strangle hold on the Force. "You will."

"I-"

Tahiri interrupted her younger self. "No. No more questions. Just remember: kiss Anakin."

Then she was back in the Flow of the Force, in the river of time.

As she watched time itself twist around her. She realized something.

She found something, that for far too long she had believed to be dead within her.

She found that she did have hope.

Even though for her the majority of her life, those hopes had been in vain, they were still there and still burned brightly. Her dreams were still alive, her faith in once again having a home and a life were merely a banked fire; one ready to burst out into a blazing inferno with but the merest hint of possibility.

She found that she had a faith in her younger self, and the love that still burned brightly in her chest.

She hoped that her younger self would kiss Anakin.

She had faith that her younger self would give Anakin that kiss.

She knew that that could, would, give him something to fight for.

She had hope.

She had life.

She had her love.

She knew that all three could change the world. The galaxy. The universe.

She knew that it was unfair to place such a burden upon such a simple thing as a kiss.

But still, she had faith that that single kiss would be one of those eternal moments on which the world hinged.

She had faith in that kiss.

She had faith in that simple act, and its ability to save her present.

After all, it was such an insignificant thing, a kiss.

A kiss was merely a sign of love or affection between two people.

The press of lips against lips. In so many ways, it was so... insignificant.

Yet she still knew... she still hoped that a kiss could change her life.

A kiss could give him something to live for.

A kiss could ignite the stars.

A kiss could change the world.

Jedi Adept: A Path In The Dark -- Ch. 20

Previous Post

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Tahiri watched as the crash foam was washed away from the insurgents in the speeder. He knew he was a dangerous one as he had single-handedly killed a number of her soldiers. She could feel the anger seething just beneath the skin, a festering boil of rage.

Even though she knew intellectually that Jacen had stacked her command with soldiers who bore a strong resemblance to Noelani in order to keep her off balance, she still saw each of those deaths as a strike against her daughter.

Even as the rage burned in her veins, she wondered if that was Jacen's purpose. To make her angry and filled with hate; and not for the first time she wondered just how Dark Jacen has become. Between the anger and the almost unconscious need she had been feeling to once more Flow Walk to see Anakin, she felt herself being wound tighter and tighter into Jacen's web.

A shudder slashed through her at the image of Jacen as a giant, bloated black spider; much like a purella.

She squeezed her eyes tight as the memory of that particular adventure. Tears burned at her eyes for a moment before she blinked them away.

Zora gestured that the last of the crash foam had been washed away and she stepped forward to look at the insurgent.

Shock raced through her as she recognized the driver of the speeder. Although it had been weeks, if not months, since she had last seen him, she knew him. He had after all, saved her daughter.

"Chase," she muttered under her breath.

"Ma'am?" Zora inquired.

She quickly shook her head. "Nothing, Zora." She glanced at the three children also rendered unconscious by the sedatives in the crash foam. "Take them all and place them in cells near the Twi'lek. Then make sure they receive some medical attention."

Zora saluted and made a gesture towards some of the other soldiers. They began pulling Chase and the children from the wrecked speeder, and just as they pulled Chase out a flash of hate and anger rolled through the Force.

Tahiri's back went ramrod straight at the sensation, her entire body tense and filled with adrenaline from her Danger Sense.

A twang sound reverberated throughout the landing pad, and Tahiri turned around and looked up at one of the windows of the compound.

For a second time, shock slammed into her. She felt her mouth dropping open as she recognized Noelani standing in the window, her fist planted against the plassteel plating--dead center of a network of cracks.

Their eyes met, and Tahiri could feel all the hate and anger just drain from her; leaving her emotionally empty and void. She felt no passions, no stirring of the heart.

The only thing she felt was regret and longing. She regretted not hugging her daughter, and she longed to do so.

But she knew that if Jacen felt either of those emotions, he would either kill her or Noelani if not both of them.

Quickly, she pushed her emotions deep down into her heart of hearts. Hiding them beneath the pain of Anakin's death.

As Noelani stepped back away from the window, Tahiri gestured Zora over. "We have a guest in the compound. We want to be on a level 2 alert."

"Level 2 ma'am? That means that we won't be able to send a status update to central."

Tahiri nodded. "I know exactly what it means Private, and believe it or not, there's a reason for it. Now, get inside and post a guard on the young man we just took to the cell."

"The newest prisoner ma'am? If you'll pardon my asking, but that doesn't make sense. We just brought him in; there should not be any type of jail break attempt this soon."

Tahiri shook her head. "Don't question the Force, Zora. You'll live longer. After you place the guard, come find me."

Zora saluted smartly; Tahiri ignored it and walked towards the compound, a heavy weight on her shoulders.

She reached to her utility belt and unclipped Anakin's lightsaber. She still hadn't built herself a new hilt to house her crystal, but before now she had been happy using Anakin's. Suddenly she felt unworthy to be holding his weapon.

She felt tainted. Dirty.

Arriving at her ready room, she went over to her desk and dropped the blade onto it. Then she went around it and dropped into her seat. It molded itself to her body, and she covered her face with both hands.

She wanted to cry, but the tears refused to fall.

Instead she reached down and opened the bottom drawer of her desk. From the very back, she extracted a bottle of Reta, the brand of Corellian Whiskey which Jaina's old boyfriend Jag had always preferred.

She grabbed the empty caf mug from her desk and splashed some of the whiskey into it. Looking into the whiskey for a moment, she swirled it about, then downed the entire contents of the cup in one quick swallow.

Fire burned down her throat and she coughed, even as she felt the Force automatically going to work at breaking down the poisons and alcohol she had just consumed.

She sighed and wondered why Luke taught his Jedi to do such things unconsciously. It made it hard for her to get drunk.

The door opened and Zora was standing there at attention. Tahiri looked up just in time to notice the frown appear and disappear from the younger girl's face.

She shook her head. "Go ahead and sit down, Private. Also, don't bother to include this in your report to Jacen."

Tahiri smiled, not surprised when the girl did not respond to it; outside of a slight hardening around her eyes.

"If I may ask Ma'am, what gave my mission away?"

Tahiri laughed as she poured a shot of the whiskery for Zora and another for herself. Pushing Zora's share towards her, she replied, "Nothing. I'm a Jedi, I just know these things."

Zora's eyes hardened again for a moment. "Do you mind telling me who the intruder is, and who that young man we arrested is?"

Tahiri watched her for a moment. "Off of Jacen's little record?"

Zora frowned for a moment, and then nodded.

"She's my former apprentice, and the young man is, well he rescued her from what would have effectively been biogenetic testing, if not worse things on Ambria. I assume Jacen filled you in on my previous missions before I left the Jedi?"

Zora nodded her head again.

"Good, then you know what I went through at the hands of BioTech Industries. That young man, Chase, rescued my d… apprentice from the same. Additionally, Chase is one of their experiments. From my understanding of the files, he's basically a living, breathing, human-equivalent of a battle droid."

Zora's eyes widened a moment. "Then, shouldn't I gather more people on guard duty?"

Tahiri shook her head. "No need. The guards are just there to be distractions. To make Noelani think we're serious about keeping Chase and those kids in. She'll come to me when she's finished."

Zora frowned, and glanced down at her datapad. "How do you know?"

Tahiri smiled, and stood up, walking around the desk. As she moved, Zora shifted and turned off the datapad on her lap.

"I thought this little conversation wasn't going to go to Jacen."

Zora smiled slightly. "I couldn't help myself. This type of information is why I am here."

Tahiri nodded her head. "I know, and really, once he reviews the security footage, there's nothing there that he wouldn't know."

Zora frowned. "Then why ask me to keep it off the record? Why reveal that you know about me?"

Tahiri smiled at her. "To see if I could trust you, despite you being Jacen's lapdog."

Zora bolted to her feet. "I'm not a lapdog!"

As the girl was rising to her feet, Tahiri's hand shot out behind her, and Anakin's blade slapped into it. She thumbed it on, and shoved it forward in a single smooth motion.

Zora doubled over where the blade entered into her stomach. She coughed, splattering blood all over Tahiri's desk.

She turned off her lightsaber as Zora collapsed to the ground, and then knelt down beside her. She picked up the datapad and used the Force to destroy the delicate electronics within.

Smiling down at Zora, she dropped the smoking datapad beside her. "Didn't you notice that I never did answer your question, as to how I know Noelani would come to me?"

Zora's eyes shifted to Tahiri, and she tried to speak, but all she did was spit up blood on the carpet.

Tahiri glanced towards the door, and then leaned down close to Zora's ear. "I know because, she's my daughter. That's the relationship that Jacen was trying to figure out between Noelani and myself. That's why you were down here. To protect her, that's why you had to die."

-------------------------------
Chase rolled over, as pain echoed through his head. His mouth felt like he had been shoving cotton balls into it. Smacking his lips, he tried to sit up, and was rewarded for his efforts with a headache and a wave of dizziness.

"Jena? Huff? Prilla?"

None of the children responded and he tried to stand. Another wave of dizziness washed over him, and he quickly gripped the edge of the sink to keep from collapsing back to the ground.

Sighing, as the last thing he remembered was the ground hurtling towards him, he assumed that they had all been captured. He stumbled towards the door, and began to beat his fist against it.

After a few moments of this, it snapped open, startling Chase and causing him to drop onto his butt. A girl, at most just a few years older than he was, stood in the doorway, irritation marred her features, but that's not what shocked him. What shocked him was how closely the girl resembled Noelani.

"What do you want?" the girl snarled at him.

"I just want to know if my kids are all right, and where they're at."

"Prisoner's don't get to know things like that."

He frowned and shook his head, reactivating his headache. "Please, let me know about them, and I'll not give you any trouble. I promise."

"You killed my friends."

He looked up at her, and realized that she would have been part of the same Guard Company that had attacked him. "In my defense they did attack me first."

"Not a reason."

Chase shrugged his shoulders. "I was protecting those kids. That's all the reason I need."

The girl continued to frown at him for a moment, and then she glanced behind her. "I didn't tell you, but the girls have a couple of bumps and bruises, while that Bothan pup is mute."

Before he could tell her thank you, she kicked him in the chest, sending him sprawling into the back of his cell. "Stay there and stop asking questions."

Then she was gone and the door slammed shut behind her.

---

Next Post

Secret Rendezvous

Secret rendezvous, she suddenly realized, were only fun when they stayed secret.

Much to Tahiri's dismay, this rendezvous had not stayed secret. She watched in utter shock and dismay as most of the Jedi that were near their age, plus a few non-Jedi that were close friends with Anakin's family emerged from hiding and screaming "Surprise!"

She just didn't know what to say.

Which of course meant that her mouth was running without her actually being in control of it. Though she would never tell Anakin that particular fact.

No, secret rendezvous were nowhere near as fun when they were no longer secret.

So, she looked around, trying to find the one person who knew what her plans regarding this rendezvous were. Finally, she saw her. The girl she had to punch for ruining her plans. Anakin's sister, Jaina.

Jaina was a few years older than her, and had the curves to prove it. Though she was a bit shorter than Tahiri, and perpetually covered in grease, she even now was the subject of glances and looks taking a bit more than a glance.

Tahiri was just glad that she wasn't competing with her over Anakin's attentions; bad enough that she was competing with both Rar twins as a set and Sannah.

She slipped her hand out of Anakin's and stomped her way through the crowd until she stood next to Jaina. Jaina for her part was ignoring Tahiri, focused much more on her conversation with Zekk as they discussed whether purple korsch or green korsch were the better tasting.

Tahiri couldn't stand korsch at all, so she had absolutely zero concern for their conversation. Instead of waiting for a break in it, she pushed Zekk out of the way, tossing him a malicious grin, and said, "I'm stealing Jaina for a bit."

Before either could protest, she grabbed the older girl by the arm and dragged her off into the corner just as somebody turned on some loud, thumping music.

"What's wrong," Jaina shouted into her ear.

For a moment, Tahiri wondered if she should tell Jaina in such a public place but she realized then that with the music as loud as the others had turned it on, she didn't have to worry about being overheard.

"You kriffing well know what's wrong," she finally screamed in response. "I told you my plans for tonight."

Jaina's eyes widened slightly, as her mouth formed a slight "O" shape. "I'm so sorry Tahiri, I had forgotten all about it when we planned for tonight, and I thought you knew we were planning the party when you grabbed Anakin and pulled him away and said that the two of you would be back later."

"No! I didn't! That was what we agreed I'd say so you'd get everyone out of the apartment."

Tahiri could feel the beginnings of a headache, as some part of her wondered why the kids that were raised on the Core worlds liked this thumping music. As Jaina answered her, she realized that she had actually spoken her internal musings.

Waving away that, she then asked, "Well, how am I going to get some alone time with him when all these people are here?"

Jaina shrugged her shoulders, as she replied, "I don't know."

"It's your fault so you have to tell me."

Jaina's lips twitched into a frown. "Why do you want that anyways?"

Tahiri thought that Jaina was just so slow sometimes. She knew that most of their mutual friends knew of her crush on Anakin, and she was fairly certain Jaina's twin brother knew.

Sighing, she screamed at Jaina, "Kriff, Jaina, you know I'm in love with Anakin."

She blinked as she suddenly realized two things.

The first was that the music had stopped about the same time as she had said the word "know." The second was that she could feel Anakin's Force presence blazing brilliantly as always, though this time he was right behind her.

Horror etched itself onto Jaina's face as Tahiri's started burning a bright red, visible even through her perpetual tan.

Slowly, she turned to face Anakin, looking up into his blue eyes, she swallowed. He had a slight blush on his cheeks, and his eyes twinkled with amusement. AMUSEMENT! Her eyes flickered around all of their friends, before settling onto Anakin once again.

He opened his mouth to say something. She just knew that it was something that she did not want to hear, so instead she just quickly shook her head, and pushing past him, darted away.

No, she thought to herself yet again. Secret rendezvous were definitely no fun when they weren't kept secret.

She ran from the room, heading deeper into the Solo's apartment.

She ran past four doors, and darted into the fifth. It was a bedroom, and she sat on the edge of the bed, and covered her face with her hands as tears began to flow.

So, it was there as she sat on the bed, her face covered with her hands, tears streaming down either cheek, that he found her.

He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, as he spoke her name, "Tahiri?"

She looked up at him, and blinked through the tears. His face had stilled, his ice-blue eyes actually warm for once, and she found that she just could not look away from him.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded her head slowly. "Y-yeah, I'm okay..."

He grinned, "Good. Uhm..."

She sighed as she watched him, wondering yet again what it was that always seemed to draw him to her. He was the son of the Chief of State, the nephew to THE Jedi Master. What in the Force would he ever see in her. She wasn't even that pretty; especially compared to others, like his sister or Alema.

"I don't know how to answer that," he said.

In horror she realized that once again, she had just spoken the thoughts as they ran through her head. She once again lowered her face into her hands, as she felt tears burning her eyes.

"But, I do have to say that I think you're the the most amazing girl I've ever met."

She blinked, and slowly lifted her head until she was able to see him. With the back of one hand, she scrubbed at her eyes, trying to wipe away the tears. She felt her mind, and her mouth, go perfectly still, as if everything about her could not believe what he was saying.

"Y-you... do?" She finally managed to stammer out.

Grinning slightly, he held out his hand towards her. "Yeah, I do."

She smiled, and slipped her slim hand into his, and allowed him to pull her into a standing position. Once there, he wrapped his arms around her, and leaned in close.

"For the record," he said, that grin still tugging at one side of his lips. "I'm in love with you too."

Memories - Epilogue

Previous Post

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Anakin was strapped into the crash couch of his X-Wing, the swirls of hyperspace hypnotic before him. He stretched as much as possible in the cramp cockpit trying to work out the kinks in his shoulders. He glanced down at the console, and noted that the last leg of his trip was over; after two weeks on Obra-Skai he was finally returning to the Jedi Academy on Yavin.

Grinning, he pushed the levers forward as Fiver, his astromech, told him that it was time to leave hyperspace. The swirling tunnel collapsed and the Yavin IV hung before him a blue and green jewel, in front of the larger orange and brown sphere of Yavin itself.

He activated his com and got clearance to land, once that was taken care of he called up his apartment.

His Aunt Mara answered, "About time you should back up, Solo."

He chuckled, long used to her acerbic personality, "I blame Uncle Luke for sending me on these things."

"Well, we've been waiting, and everyone's here, but you should have a package to pick up at the landing field."

The grin still on his lips, he nodded his head, "I understand Aunt Mara, and I'll see you soon, and there should probably be some canapes around."

"Copy that, Solo," she replied with a chuckle and then the circuit shut down.

Still grinning, he dove into the atmosphere, ignoring the squak of concern that came from traffic control. Speeding up, he dropped low, riding just a few meters above the massive trees which covered most of the area. Flowers and leaves blew up in the air, disturbed by the wake of his passage.

Within minutes he was within sight of the Jedi Temple, and traffic control was getting frantic at his speed and the fact that he was ignoring the customary approach patterns. With a flick of his wrist he turned off the comm unit entirely as he circled the Temple itself.

Leveling out, he flashed over the landing area, causing an explosion of colored petals to shower the area. He simultaneously pulled up on his stick and throttled his speed back down effectively flipping his craft over and shedding all its forward momentum.

Righting himself, he once more closed on the landing area at a more sedate pace. Arriving at his designated plot, he gently lowered the fighter to the ground. Pulling off his flight helmet, he looked at the stone bench set beside the landing area.

It wasn't that long ago that he sat there waiting for Jaina to come pick him up. For a moment, he wondered what his life would have been like if he hadn't came back to Yavin.

Even as he thought that, he focused on the person sitting on the bench. She was a slip of a girl in an orange jumpsuit, and had a piece of cloth tied over her hair. As he realized that she was without shoes as usual, he found that his grin had widened into a full smile; and he knew that his life would not be nearly as complete if he hadn't returned.

Pushing open the canopy, he jumped out and used the Force to slow his drop to the ground. The smell of flowers hung heavily on the air and the petals themselves were nearly everywhere; placed there by the aggressiveness of his approach. A strong wind would occasionally gust through them, sending a rainbow's worth of colors fluttering on the breeze.


He closed the distance between them, as he walked, he noticed that she shifted the cloth on top of her head as the wind tried to snatch it away.

Finally he was standing before her, and tossed her a half-hearted grin and a wave. "Hey suspicious person."

She raised her head, a frown on her own lips. "You're late. Way late."

"Sorry that I was a little late," he replied, ignoring her. "But then again, I'm not the suspicious person here."

"I'm not a suspicious person!" She exclaimed as her green eyes wavered between anger and amusement.

He laughed and knelt down in front of her. "What? Sorry, but no matter how you look at it, you're a suspicious person."

"How?"

"It's just everything," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, and a pout touched her lips. "That's not true."

He patted the cloth. "What's with this, anyways?"

She sighed, and gripped the cloth tighter to her head. "Promise not to laugh?"

"I won't," he said, standing back up.

"You really, really promise not to laugh?"

"I swear that I won't, no matter what happens."

She frowned slightly. "That sounds made up, but it's a promise."

"I do keep my promises," he replied.

She nodded her head, and then sighed. "Well... I went to the barber and asked for a haircut. Then..." She pulled the cloth off, revealing that her long hair had been almost entirely hacked off into a short bob that ended just beneath her ears. "Then I kind of got a lot cut off. He was new, and a Chadra-fan... I don't think he knew that I was a girl."

He couldn't help it, Anakin burst out laughing.

She threw the cloth at him as she pouted. "You said you wouldn't laugh."

His laughing tapered off, and still grinning, he responded, "Well, it's just that with that haircut, you do look kind of like a boy. Next time, take Jaina or Nelani with you."

She sighed and nodded her head. "Yeah, I'll do that."

He held his hands out towards her. "Well come on then, let's go."

She reached up and grabbed his hands, and he pulled her to a standing position. "I commed Aunt Mara on my way down, and she said she'd make you some canapes. Also, Jaina, Tenel Ka, Eyrl, Kiori and Nelani are going to be there. They're all there waiting for us."

She grinned up at him, the smile lighting up her eyes as the wind once again tossed flowers around them. "Then we've got to hurry."

As they began to walk towards the apartments in the distance, he smiled down at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "No Tahiri, we've got all the time in the world."

--------------------------------

The time that had stopped slowly starts moving...

... all while holding on to a small fragment of a miracle.

I don't know how long it will take...

But... there's plenty of time.

Memories Ch 24

Previous Chapter

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A dream...

The day the dream ends...

Like the snow melting away under the spring sun...

Like how people's facades fade as they age...

Like how memories start to fade and disappear in the course of eternal time...

Now the long dream reaches an end...

After granting the final wish...

The one wish...

My wish is...

--------------------------------

The alarm clock started ringing, a constantly changing metronome which Anakin found annoying; the perfect impetuous to drag him out of bed.

Groaning, he opened his eyes, finding his face in a shaft of brilliant sunlight. He blinked twice and then rolled out of the bed, stretching muscles tightened by sleep. Leaving the room, he turned off his alarm clock on the way out, and as he entered the hallway, he could clearly hear the myriad alarms Jaina had set up in her room.

Sighing, he knocked on her door. "Jaina!"

When no answer came, he opened the door and quickly turned off her alarms. Then he turned towards his sister, and frowned. "Wake up, Jaina."

After getting her up and moving, they walked down the hallways towards the kitchen. Jaina looked over at him, a sly grin on her face. "I finally got a message back from Zekk."

He snorted. "Told you that you should send him one."

Sticking her tongue out at him, she darted around the corner and into the kitchen. Over her shoulder she called out, "Brat!"

Laughing, he followed her, to find Mara setting a plate onto the table. Ben was set on her hip, and he cooed as he saw them both.

Jaina settled into her customary spot, and looked at a jar. She pulled it towards her, and unscrewed the cap, sniffing its contents carefully. "Oh! This is a new jam isn't it?"

Mara smiled, and Anakin was slightly amazed at how well she had recovered in the past few weeks.

Too soon, Anakin found himself running behind Jaina, as they threaded through the crowds on their way to the Temple. Panting, he ground out, "How exactly did it come to this again?"

"That's just because Aunt Mara's new jam was so good," she replied with a giggle. Then she looked down at the chronometer attached to her wrist. "If you don't want to be late, we've got to run faster"

He sighed and tried to run faster.

They stumbled into the classroom just as the morning bell went off. Jaina looked around with a gloating smile on her face. "We made it."

Anakin slowly went over to his seat and collapsed into it. "Next time we're running late, don't eat so much. You can eat Mara's jam whenever you want."

Jaina settled into her seat next to his, and nodded her head. "Yeah... you're right... I can eat her jam whenever."

Smiling, he leaned towards her slightly. "Well, just make sure you eat that jam for her next time as well."

Jaina shuddered, her eyes squeezing shut in remembered pain. "I... no, you eat it."

"I'm allergic to jams."

She looked at him, a dubious expression on her face. "I've never heard of such a thing before..."

Raynar and Kiori walked over. "Hey!" Raynar called over. "What are you guys talking about?"

Anakin looked at his two friends. "We're talking about Mara's special blend jam."

Kiori's eyes opened wider in shock and fear. "Th...that's still around?"

"So, you've had it to," Anakin responded.

Kiori nodded. "Once. I went over while Jaina and I were working together on a project for Master Horn, and Master Skywalker served it to us."

"I see," Anakin replied.

"What?" Raynar cried out, looking between the three of them. "What's this jam all about?"

"There are some things that one is better off not knowing about," Anakin said, as the two girls quickly nodded their head in agreement.

Suddenly, Kiori slapped her hands together. "Oh! I almost forget... Anakin guess what."

Startled slightly, he looked up to see the bright smile on her face.

At the first break, he ran down the steps, and into the courtyard garden. Panting, he began looking around. He took a few more steps, heading deeper into the garden courtyard.

Then he heard the sound of someone stepping on the gravel behind him. "Anakin?"

He felt himself smiling. "I figured you'd come out here."

"Yes," she replied. "I'm back at school today."

He continued to look at the distance. "Why not keep skipping. You're going to have to repeat the entire year's worth of work."

"I don't like people who say such things."

He turned around and found Nelani standing there. She was dressed in a set of Jedi robes, her hands clasped in front of her and a bright smile on her lips.

"Long time no see," she said, her eyes dancing with happiness.

"Yeah," he replied as he closed the distance between them. When he got close enough, he rubbed at her hair. "I'm happy for you Nelani... that you can come to school again."

"Anakin..."

"Hey, let's celebrate again at Poltx; to celebrate you getting better."

"At times like this...." She lowered her head, and when she lifted her face towards her again, tears lined her eyes. "At... At times like this.... I can cry right?"

"Yeah," he replied nodding his head.

"Anakin!" she exclaimed, and grabbed the front of his tunic, burying her face in it. Her shoulders shaking as she cried into his chest. "I... I never wanted to die... I didn't want to say goodbye... I don't want to be...alone...."

Anakin wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest. "When you want to cry you can; since you've been strong all this time."

------------------------------------

Anakin sat on the thin mat. Across from him was Tenel Ka, and setting out the boxes of food was Eyrl. Once the food was put out, she threw her arms forward and grinned brightly

"Please, eat up!"

Anakin gathered up his share, and began eating. "I'm just happy you two managed to get out of the medward before the term ended. Weren't you both supposed to be knighted?"


"Yeah," Eyrl answered. "Even Master Cilghal was surprised. She said it was something of a miracle that we got out as early as we did. Right Tenel Ka?"

Tenel Ka nodded.

Anakin frowned at something Eyrl had said. It tugged at the jumbled mess of his memories. Miracle?

Eyrl continued speaking. "Yeah, though we're going to have to wait a while longer before we can get knighted. Master Skywalker thinks we might have missed a bit too much of this terms lessons. Right Tenel Ka?"

Tenel Ka nodded.

Anakin looked at her for a moment. "What exactly is your plan after you're knighted? Are you going into one of the government service programs or are you going to become a Jedi?"

Tenel Ka shrugged. "Government service has no appeal to me."

Anakin snorted. "Why not? I think you'd be good in the diplomatic corps."

She frowned and then reached over and slapped her hand onto the top of his head. "Ow!"

Eyrl giggled slightly. "Anakin, did you ever find your missing friend?"

"Tahiri?" he said with a slight sigh. "She said we weren't going to be able to see each other again, so I guess she left. She might have even gone back to Tatooine."

Smiling sadly, he picked up his plate again and once more began to eat.

--------------------------------

After he had been released from training for the day, Anakin strolled through the shopping district. As he turned every corner, he still half expected someone to come jumping onto his back and screaming out his name.

He was surprised at how much he missed her exuberance.

"Solo?"

Startled, he spun around to see who had called his name. For a split second he thought it was going to be Tahiri, instead it was Mara. "A-aunt Mara?"

Amusement twinkled in her eyes, as she tilted her head slightly. "Ah? Did you mistake me for someone else?" Then she twirled a strand of her red hair around one of her manicured fingers. "I can understand the eyes, Solo, but the hair is not quite right."

"Ah... no... it wasn't that..." he replied, scratching at his own hair. "Besides, she'd never call me 'Solo.'"

A sad look appeared in her eyes, as she nodded her head. Then she pointed towards a building across the street. "Let's go over there."

He followed her finger, and saw Poltx. Nodding his head, he followed her to it, and soon they were seated at a table across from each other.

After they had ordered, he looked at her. "I'm happy that there's no long term effect from the accident."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, Cilghal was surprised as well. She even went so far as to call it a miracle." She looked down at the table as their teas were placed in front of them. A frown touched her lips for a moment, before she smiled again. Finally, she lifted her face to look at him once more. "Anakin, do you have any idea where Tahiri is? It's been bothering me, and I know Jaina is worried as well. Kriff, even Ben liked her. It's just not the same without her around."

Anakin lowered his head, and wrapped his hands around his cup, enjoying its warmth against his hands. He felt another pang of heartache, as what Mara was saying stirred up conflicting emotions. "Aunt Mara... I... I remember now."

"Huh?"

"About what happened all those years ago... Why I lost my memories... The last day of my training session, just hours before I was supposed to leave on the Falcon... my friend..." He clenched his teeth before continuing. "We were on the river... and she fell in, and got pulled away... when I got to her she wasn't breathing... Uncle Luke found us at that melted temple and then asked me what happened and then I was waiting to go back to Coruscant.

"As I sat on the bench waiting for Dad, Jaina came by. She... she didn't know what had happened and I... well, I took my frustrations and anger out on her. Then I fled with Dad back home. I don't remember much after that, and it's not until a year ago that my memories really begin again.

"I know you're just being considerate about my feelings when you didn't tell me about the accident. One day you did ask me about one of the Temples, to see if I remembered what had happened.

"That's why you asked... and I assume that's why the Temple was razed. Because.... Because that girl... my friend.... Her name was Tahiri Veila. Tahiri.... She's... she's not here anymore.... One with the Force as Uncle Luke would say."

He clenched his jaws together and dropped his head. He felt his body shaking slightly; as he fought the tears that he knew would come if he let them.

Mara gently touched his hand, and he lifted his head to look at her.

After a moment she spoke. "You can be a bit dense sometimes, you know that Solo? That girl... Your Uncle had a state of the art medical center built here because of her. She's not dead, but..."

------------------------------------

A Dream....

I'm seeing a dream...

A dream of the person most dear to me, sitting by my side.

He talks to me. He lets me hear about so many things. There are so many stories that he tells me...

A story about his sister who he met again after seven years.

A story of a girl that was a fish.

A story of a strange girl who would appear in the Temple's courtyards every day.

A story of a girl who fought her own demons.

And a story about a childhood friend who he met every day in the shopping districts.

A dream...

I'm seeing a dream...

A dream of being by my dearest person.

A daily life that repeats; pieces of dreams comes one after another and fill my heart.

Just like the seasons change. From winter to spring to summer to fall and back to winter.

--------------------------------


Anakin walked behind the nurse, his emotions flashing from one end of the spectrum to the other. Fragments of memories were jumbled in his head, the most prominent of which were parts of the conversation he had just had with Mara.

Finally, the nurse stopped and pulled open a door. Anakin paused, not wanting to look in. Then he stepped forward. The room was dominated by a bed, an array of medical scanners and equipment were attached to the wall by the head of the bed. The far wall from him had a wide window which allowed streams of the afternoon sun to fall on the bed.

Lying there, her features highlighted by the sun, was Tahiri. Her hair was longer than he remembered, and her chest lifted and lowered slowly and evenly with her breathing.

He stepped forward, and noticed that her hand was clenched tightly around a small doll. He took another step, and recognized the doll as the one he had given her.

Slowly, mechanically he crossed the room to her bed. Then he fell to his knees and dropped his head to her bed, resting it gently on her shoulder.

--------------------------------

Time passed slowly; Anakin visited daily. On occasion Nelani or Tenel Ka or Eyrl or Jaina would visit her with him. It was a firm part of his routine, as important to him as training ever was. He helped care for her, washed her hair, massaged her legs, but most of all he talked to her. He told her stories and anecdotes and the trials he was going through in order to complete his training.

While not exactly happy, neither was he sad. Tahiri was in front of him, there every day, just as he was there for her.

One day, while washing her hair with Jaina's help, Jaina paused for a moment. She frowned down at Tahiri's still form. "What happened to her necklace?"

Anakin frowned as he looked at her neck. The necklace was gone, and thinking back he realized that she had never had it on.

He shook his head. "I'm not sure, I don't remember seeing it."

Then with that said, they returned to washing her hair.

--------------------------------

Anakin sat on the bench across from Nelani. In her hand she held a sketchbook and a chunk of charcoal. Her hand moved with deft strokes, creating a skritching sound from the paper.

She lifted her eyes for a second. "Have you ever wondered if you were in someone's dream?"

"What's that?"

She paused in her drawing. "It's a 'what-if' situation." Her head titled slightly to the side. "For example, the person whose dream it is can grant a single wish. Originally in the dream the one thing the person could do was cry, but the person never gave up waiting."

She lowered the pad to the flat of her lap, and then continued speaking. "Then... then there was a small chance. The wish is kind of like a present that's been given to her for waiting so long. After all, that person has waited year after year. That way she'd be capable of granting any one wish. Saving a sickly girl... saving someone who got hurt in an accident... even healing the hurt friends...."

"Isn't there only supposed to be one wish?"

"I don't know what she wished for, but maybe... what if it was 'I want my dearest person to always be smiling?' Maybe it was a wish like that, and for that to come true, everyone around that person would have to be having a happy life too..."

Anakin lifted an eyebrow as he watched Nelani. "How are you able to think like that?"

Quickly, she began shaking her head. "I don't know..." She focused on him for a moment, and then lifted her eyes towards the sky. Then she shrugged her shoulders and said, "It's just a thought I've had ever since I got better."

------------------------------------

As was his custom, Anakin was sitting next to Tahiri, telling her about his day. As usual, she lay there, her eyes closed, not responding to anything he said.

The door opened, and he looked that way, to see Tenel Ka stepping into the room. She paused in the door way, her grey eyes boring into his.

He stood up, and allowed Tenel Ka to take the seat by the bed, while he prepared tea for them both. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he asked, "You're not with Eyrl today?"

She remained silent for a long heartbeat; finally she bowed her head slightly. "Anakin... I am certain that she is still waiting for you." She looked up at him, as he turned to face her. "Go find her. Go find her, the way you found me."

Anakin frowned for a moment. "Find her?"

"Yes. I am certain that it is something that only you can do. The only person who can keep the promise, is the person with whom the promise was made."

As Anakin watched her, she lowered her head and once more began watching Tahiri.

"Where is she waiting?" he asked.

--------------------------------

I loved the scenery that flew by.

Spring.

The forest vibrant and life waking up.

I loved running through the forest, leaving behind my footprints in the moist ground.

Summer.

I loved the heat and warmth as I moved through the woods; all hints of the winter hidden by the dense foliage of the canopy.

Autumn.

The world begins to wait. The Forest closes begins to close in upon itself, readying for the long cold winter.

Winter.

The first biting chill wind. Going to the mountains, catching the snowflakes as they fall.

And then it's back to Spring.

The season of new life. The season when the flowers flare in a riot of colors.

I loved the scenery that flew by.

But, like a puddle frozen in winter, so my time has frozen.

I was always alone; all the while seeing the same scene repeated day after unending day. I was always alone while viewing the same unending night...

--------------------------------

He walked through the forest, heading deeper into it. He stumbled forward, and broke through into the clearing which housed the melted temple.

Looking around, he advanced forward slightly, and then he looked up at the sky. Sighing, not entirely certain what he was doing here, he began looking around.

And that was when he saw it.

A small parcel, aged, tossed away into the brush. He frowned, wondering why he had never seen it before. He picked it up, and with a start he realized that he had seen it before. It had been something he had bought. Carefully, he opened it up, and sitting inside was a necklace.

The pendant was a brown smooth stone, with a silver wire wrapped around it to hold it to the thin metal chain.

As he looked at it, in his mind's eye he saw Tahiri standing there, holding up the chains, as she said, "Yes, I do. It was a present from someone and means a lot to me." Then there was another time when they had discussed the necklace, and she had asked, "Do you remember when you gave this to me?"

Tears flowed down his cheek, as he crumpled to the ground. I never gave Tahiri the necklace. I never did...

As he cried, all the memories came slamming back, forcing him to realize all the things that he had done in his effort to forget his pain.

I never gave it to her, he thought. Instead I choose to believe that I had. I chose an illusion over reality. I forced away my sadness; I couldn't face it. I accepted the illusion that put me at ease, and I did it just because I didn't want to hurt anymore. I did it because I didn't want my heart to break any more than it already had.

He lifted his head and looked around. Everything around him felt surreal and altered. He looked down and realized that he was a child again; no more than eleven years old. He stood and walked back down the path. Before long he arrived where the city should have been, instead it was the woods of the past.

He continued on, through the path, up the slight hill until he came to the forbidding edifice which is the Jedi Temple. Feeling dwarfed in his childhood body, he entered the Temple through the wide hanger doors, and found her sitting on a stone bench. Her bare feet swung in time to a melody she was humming. Her green eyes flashed with happiness as she looked up at him. "You're late Anakin."

He nodded his head. "Yeah. This time I was really late."

Her smile was slightly bitter. "I don't think I want to play today though. I'm a bit tired from waiting."

"Did you worry that I might not come?"

She shook her head. "Nope. We promised, remember?"

"Tahiri," he said, as he lifted the package and held it out to her. "Here."

She looked at it for a moment. "What's that?"

"I said I had something to give you," he replied.

She sprang from her seat and rushed towards him. When she arrived in front of him, she took the package; her smile was brilliant as she looked down at it.

He held out his hand towards her. "Tahiri?"

She lifted her head.

"Come on. Let's go."

She watched his hand for a moment, and then nodded her head. "Yep."

Then her small hand slipped into his, and together they walked towards the setting sun.

---

Next Chapter

Jedi Adept: A Path in the Dark Ch. 11

Previous Post

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Tahiri glanced around her, and reached into her desk to pull out a small device. She set it on top of her holonet station, and pressed a small button on its side. The light flashed yellow, then red, before finally settling on blue.

Smiling, Tahiri entered a string of numbers into the terminal, and a few moments later Leia's face appeared in the air before her.

"Tahiri," the older woman exclaimed, obviously happy to see her.

Tahiri smiled. "Hello, Leia. I hope that Jacen's little attack didn't hurt either of you?"

Leia shook her head, a bitter smile flashing across her lips. "No worse than anything else he's done to us over the past few months. How are you?"

Tahiri sighed slightly. "I'm inside."

Leia's eyes widened slightly. "You are? The Guard?"

Tahiri nodded her head. "Yes. I… I just wanted you to know right now, that I'm going to do what it takes to make Jacen trust me. So despite what you hear in the future, please remember that I love you and Han both, all right?"

Leia frowned for a moment. "I'll remember, if you promise me that you won't forget who you are; and that if you feel like you're starting to, that you'll come and find us. We'll always be here for you."

Tahiri felt a tear slice down her cheek as she smiled at Leia. "I promise, and thanks."

Suddenly a loud chimed sounded throughout her room. She reached out with the Force and felt the barest hint of Jacen on the far side of the door. Then she looked down at Leia's face on the screen. "Jacen's here. I'll try and contact you later, but I doubt I'll be able to."

Leia nodded. "I understand. May the Force be with you."

Tahiri smiled and shut off the holonet and then waved her hand at the door. It snapped open, revealing Jacen standing there in his black Guard uniform, complete with flowing black cape. She looked at him, her eyes flicking up and down instinctively, and then she smiled. "Jacen, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

For a second, the grin on his face seemed to falter, but it was so fast, that she was not certain she truly saw it. He stepped into her quarters, and the door behind him closed.

"I just came to tell you that I have your first assignment," he said as he held up a small datachit.

Tahiri reached out with the Force, and it flew from his hand to hers. She shoved it into the appropriate slot on the desk terminal, and a map of the undercity appeared. Frowning, she let her eyes flicker around the map, and then she touched the attached file.

She quickly scanned the executive summary and gasped aloud as the implication of what she had read sunk in. She read it a second time.

The ZAITA project concerns the forced evolution of Vong Life in effort to better patrol lower levels. We believe that we can utilize the slave-seed coral infected sapients, commonly called Ferals in the lower levels, as a wide-area defense network. If successful, we can then utilize these Ferals on other worlds. In worse-case scenarios, the creation of a plaque which renders the population of worlds currently in an open state of rebellion into mindless automata is still an effective use of resources.

She then read it a third time, a part of her appalled that Jacen would even consider such a course of action. After her third read through, she lifted her head, to see him still standing there at ease, a grin touching one corner of his mouth, lifting it slightly.

"So," he began. "What do you think?"

Tahiri watched him for a moment, before shrugging her shoulders. "I think I'd need to see how effective they are first."

Jacen nodded his head. "Well, as far as we can tell, our preliminary efforts have not really yielded a productive attack force. On the other hand, they are effective guards, and share a sort of common bandwidth on which they communicate."

Tahiri sectioned a portion of her mind off, shoving the horror she felt at Jacen's words into that hole, and then slamming the door. Emotions such as those would give her away to Jacen, and that was a risk she was unwilling to take; especially with him so close, and she without an escape route.

"So, what exactly is my mission again?"

He grinned. "Collecting Ferals and other specimens for the scientists in that particular division, as well as patrolling the lower levels. We've had some troubles with a subversive group hiding down there. I'm giving you a half platoon to command. That's five squads total. Four for you to direct, and then a fifth that will be under your direct command. On the datachit is the information about your soldiers."

Tahiri waved away the background information file, and pulled up a second file showing a roster of soldiers. She nodded her head, and looked at him. "Sounds good. When's my next lesson?"

He grinned. "That depends on how good you are at this task."

Then he spun around, his cloak wrapping around his body, and strode from the room. She watched as the door closed down, and then sighed, quickly scanning the information about the soldiers Jacen had just assigned her.

Sighing, she stood up and stripped out of the tunic and shirt she had been wearing. Dropping the clothes in a pile on the floor, she walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a Guard duty uniform. It was similar to the clothes she normally wore, except that these were all black.

She wrapped the belt around her waist, getting used to the array of gadgets that a soldier wore on it, and then hunted for a place where she could connect Anakin's lightsaber. Finally, she pulled off the glow, and tossed that on her bed, and in the space created snapped the lightsaber to the belt. Her hand caressed it, and she could feel the sympathetic thrum from the lambent at its core.

Then she snapped her name plate, and rank insignia onto her jacket, just above the heart. With a quick glance in the mirror, she strode from the room, and took a lift to the lowest level it traveled. Then she went down four more flights of stairs, finally ending in a series of hallways that dripped with water.

Frowning, she advanced, her fingers once more seeking out the familiar reassurance of the lightsaber at her hip.

She arrived at a metal door, and pressed her hand against the plate next to it. Green light shone brightly for a moment, and then disappeared as the door rolled open. Tahiri stepped through the doorway, and found herself in a small room. Another door was on the far side, but there was no activation plate this time.

Confused, she stepped forward, closer to the second door, when the first door rolled back shut, plunging the room into darkness.

Startled, she snapped her blade of her belt, but before she could ignite it, a blue light came on, and flashed over her. She felt her skin crawl for a moment, before a tone sounded. Then the lights came back on and the second door opened once more.

Slowly, Tahiri advanced, to find a Guardsman standing at attention on the far side. Encased in full body armor, Tahiri could only tell that the Guardsman was humanoid and female. The guard snapped a salute. "Commander Veila. Welcome to ZAITA section."

Tahiri nodded her head slowly. "Right and you are?"

"I'm Private Zora Rekim, sir."

Tahiri sighed. "Take that silly hat off, so I can talk to you normally."

She could feel Private Rekim's Force presence tense. A sudden onslaught of conflicting emotions, and Tahiri guessed that standing orders required them to always keep the helmets on.

Finally, her need to obey orders won out, and the girl unsnapped the line feeds to the helmet. With a hiss, she pulled the helmet off her head, and shook out her blond hair. It was cropped as long as the military restrictions would allow. Then she lifted her face and focused on Tahiri with her calm, blue eyes.

Tahiri felt her chest constrict, and for a moment she saw Noelani's smiling face.

"Commander?"

Zora's voice sounded different when not filtered through the helmet. It sound young, hopeful and with just a trace of a Coruscant accent.

Tahiri blinked a few times and then shook her head. "Sorry about that Zora, you just reminded me of someone for a moment. And please, call me Tahiri. This 'commander' nonsense annoys me."

Zora frowned for a second, and then nodded her head. "Yes sir."

Tahiri sighed, and gestured down the hallway. "I assume you're here to take me to my quarters, and get me introduced to the appropriate people?

Zora nodded her head, and put her helmet back on; turning her youthful voice into the mechanized substitute which the vocoders on the helmets produced. "Yes sir. If you'll follow me, the squad room is down this way."

The girl turned, pivoting on her left foot, and walked down the hall. Tahiri smirked slightly, as she fell into step two paces behind her.

Arriving at one of the doors, they stepped into the room. It was set up like a lecture hall, a raised dais at the front of the room, closest to the door, and then seats with desks in front of them on tiered levels in a half circle around the dais. Her eyes flickered out across the group, noting the predominance of humans; especially, young blond female humans.

She frowned as she wondered if Jacen had done this on purpose. A subtle swipe at her issues with the Jedi, and the fact that they had taken her daughter away from her. No, she thought to herself. The fact that Noelani is my daughter is known only by the Council and Ben. I doubt Jacen has learned that. This is because they took my apprentice away from me. He's probably watching to see how I'll react.

Sighing, she took the two steps until she was standing in front of the dais. Zora took a seat on the lowest level, next to three other girls, removing her helmet because they were in the briefing room. Tahiri looked over and saw that they were all blue eyed, and blond haired, and that they all had the same unit patch next to their rank insignia. In an instant, she knew that this was the four that comprised her own squadron. She knew that Jacen had done that to keep her on edge, to keep her emotions roiling, to keep her confused, hurt and resentful; especially towards the Jedi.

She was not that surprised to find that it worked.

---

Next Post

Memories Ch. 23

Previous Chapter

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The rain pelted down on him, cold and harsh. He shivered, and closed his eyes; almost happy to be done with everything. Just a few more centimeters and then he would not have to worry about anything anymore.

Then something heavy dropped down into the creek bed; mud and rain water splashed over his face. He lifted his head and opened his eyes as he looked up. A girl was standing over him, her brown hair sodden and limp, but he could easily make out the dozens of braids.

"Sannah?" he muttered and then collapsed back down to the ground.

The world turned black all around him.

Awareness seeped back with the soft sounds of a woman's singing. There was something familiar about the voice and the tune, yet Anakin could place neither.

Carefully, he sat up on the mat that he had been laying on and looked around. A crude wooden table sat a few feet from him, and on the corner closest to him was Tahiri's doll.

Lifting his gaze from the doll, he looked around again, and realized that he was in a tree. Someone had carved out one of the massive trees, and turned it into an effective living space.

A white linen curtain sectioned off the area with the mat from what he assumed was the rest of the home. It was from the far side of it that he could hear the singing.

Suddenly, she stopped singing, and Anakin could feel her attention focus on him for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Anakin. Did I wake you with my singing?"

Anakin frowned for a moment. "Uhm… where am I?"

"Hold on a second, Anakin. I'm warming up a bit of blue milk for us."

"Ah, okay," he replied, even as he thought, who is she? She knows my name.

A few moments later, the curtain was pulled aside, and Anakin could see a kitchen and a closed door. The girl, who was a few years older than Anakin was, stood holding a tray. On the tray were two steaming mugs and a selection of biscuits. He looked at her, her hair was braided, much the same way that Sannah's always was, but in the light of her home, Anakin could tell that that was really the only similarity between the two.

She set the tray down on the table, and handed him one of the mugs.

"Well, Anakin. I see you've wondered back to Yavin IV. What do you think of all the growth that's happened since you've been away?"

He blinked twice, and found himself frowning for a moment. "Uhm… but how do you…"

"Know you?" She responded with a chuckle. "Well, I'm Eelysa and I may live in a tree, but I do have a holonet connection. Besides, I was a Jedi Knight before you ever came to the Junior Jedi Academy."

Anakin felt his frown deepen at that comment. "But you don't look old enough."

She laughed, and he thought how much he liked that sound. "Age has nothing to do with being a Knight. You of all people should know that much."

Anakin felt his cheeks start to burn. "Sorry."

She waved her hand in his direction, and took a sip of her own mug of milk. He followed suit.

With a clink, she set her cup back on the table, and looked at him. "You've grown up a lot since I saw you last. That must've been six, seven years ago now. Are you close to finishing your training?"

He hung his head, shame filling him. "I've not changed at all…"

"What?"

"I've not changed. I've not grown up. If someone's hurt, all I can do is stand there and watch. I'm weak. All I do is watch…. I couldn't help Jaina…" He covered his face with his hands, as the first of the tears began to flow. "I couldn't help Nelani, Tenel Ka or even Sannah… They were all waiting for me…" He clenched his fists, struggling against the pain and emotions that welled in him. "And I just forgot everything. And Tahiri…"

Eelysa laid a hand on his head, brushing it against his hair.

"And Tahiri," Anakin continued. "I couldn't do anything for Tahiri. All I did was forget our promise. All I do are the same things… over and over again… I'm…"

She grabbed his hands, and squeezed then. He looked up at her, to find her staring around her at the house. Confused slightly, he lifted his head, and looked at the ceiling and walls.

"Trees are funny things," she said. "Did you know that they have rings inside of them that tell their age?"

Anakin shook his head.

"Every thing that affects them, from drought to fire to pests to freezing weather; year after year the tree records that in those rings. It's a sign to those who know how to look for it of that tree's strength. I think humans are like that as well. The more trouble they go through, the more pain they suffer, the stronger and kinder they can get."

Anakin lowered his eyes again, as tears once more started to flow.

He could feel her kind smile directed at him. "If you've made a promise with someone, make sure you keep it."

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Anakin woke the next morning, his back hurting from the strange bed he had slept in. Sitting up, he looked around once more, thinking that the tree house looked even odder in the morning light than it did the evening before.

Glancing down at the table, he saw the datapad with a message indicator flashing on it. He picked the device up, and it came to life. Quickly, he scanned the simple lines recorded there:

Anakin, I'm off to perform my morning exercises. If you're hungry, you can eat what's in the food preserver.

He dropped the datapad back onto the table, and went into the kitchen. Opening the preserver, he found a package of meat rolls. The same brand which had been Sannah's favorite.

After he had eaten, he grabbed up the little angel doll and left the house. He quickly got his bearings, and began to walk through the woods. He had a specific destination in mind; the melted temple.

As he walked, he remembered a portion of that last conversation he had had with Tahiri: I'm sorry Anakin, I... I don't think I'll be able to meet you anymore.

The more he walked, the more memories of Tahiri invaded his mind. All the times he had seen her, walked with her, talked with her, or teased her since his return.

Finally he arrived at his destination.

He stood at the edge of the clearing, watching the blasted, melted ruins of a Temple. Then he walked to one of the melted columns, and leaned against it. After a short while, he sat down on the ground, his back to the column.

He lifted his head to the sky, staring at the clouds as they drifted by. "I did promise I'd meet you here again, didn't I?"

------------------------------------

He heard his alarm clock begin its insistent tone. Frowning, he tossed the covers off and sat up on the bed looking around. I don't have training today, why did I leave that turned on?

Sighing, he got out of bed and quickly dressed. He stepped out into the hallway, and heard the thumps of someone running from behind him. Anakin spun in place, to find Tahiri there, a wide grin on her face as she raced up to him.

"What… what are you doing here," he asked her.

She giggled at him. "I'm a part of the family, right? Where else would I be?"

"Yeah, that's right," he replied, as he began to make his way towards the kitchen.

She skipped beside him, her every movement an expression of exuberant energy. Suddenly, she paused and spun towards him. "Today, Mrs. Mara is going to teach me how to make her cookies."

He snorted in amusement. "Aunt Mara's wasting her time there."

She frowned and stomped her foot. "That's not true."

"I remember the last time you made cookies. They were like stones."

She blushed, and spun away from him. "That was because I didn't know what I was doing, but today Aunt Mara will be teaching me."

He smiled at her. "Well, just don't give Aunt Mara too much trouble."

Tahiri tossed him a brilliant smile over her shoulder. "It'll be okay." Then she was rushing around the corner into the kitchen.

He followed at a more sedate pace, to discover Jaina and Mara already there; Jaina half-dozing as usual rather than eating.

"Good morning," Tahiri called out as she dropped into her place at the table.

Jaina bobbed her head, and Anakin laughed. "You've begun training again? You sure do work hard."

Jaina's head wavered for a moment. "Yeah… I work hard." Then her head fell forward to the table, and she was lightly snoring.

Mara spoke from the kitchen. "Tahiri, once everyone's had breakfast we'll work on those cookies, all right?"

"Yeah!" Tahiri called out, lifting her hands above her head. As she lowered her arms, she turned towards Anakin. "You'll eat them right?"

"Absolutely not," he shot back.

A scowl appeared on her face. "Well that was blunt."

"Today's will be different," Mara called from the kitchen. "Right?"

"Yeah. That's right," Tahiri replied.

He smiled at her. "Well then, if it looks good, then I guess I'll eat it."

She began to smile. "Really?"

"IF it looks good."

"Yeah! I'll do my best," she replied, her face a brilliant smile. "So look forward to my cookies, okay?"

With a start, Anakin jerked awake. He looked around himself and realized that he was still in the courtyard of the melted temple.

Frowning, he lifted his face towards the sky once again. "Guess I'm still really here then…"

He snorted in amusement, as he looked around him again. "I remember doing this when I first got here. Of course, I had a bench that time…"

Smiling, he looked down the path he had come. Unbidden, Tahiri's words once more rang through his head: But what I really like is when the person I'm waiting for comes. Then I can be glad that I was waiting.

He lifted the small angel doll, holding it in front of his face as he memory of another conversation with her fought through his mind again: I think that if you loved me, then I could love you. Forever.

He felt himself smiling. "I still love you…"

Then from behind him, he heard a voice; her voice; as Tahiri said, "Me, too, Anakin."

------------------------------------

He squeezed his eyes shut tight. "Then why did you say we can't meet again?"

"Because I'm out of time," was her reply. "Today… today, I'm here to say good-bye."

"I'm here to give you what you left behind."

"So…. You found it?" He heard an odd sadness in her voice.

"Yeah," he responded. "With some trouble. Lots of trouble." Then he stood up, and slowly moved around the column.

As he cleared it, he saw her. She stood half a dozen paces away from him, her hands clasped in front of her chest. He felt his heart pound harder in his chest.

"Thank you," she said as he handed her the doll. She looked at it for a moment, and then clutched it tight to her chest.

"You're late," Anakin said.

A wistful smile appeared on her lips. "We're allowed to come whenever we want to to our school, remember?"

"That's right."

"Yep."

Anakin sighed. "We were able to meet again."

"Yep."

"Is this really good bye?"

"Yep."

He felt himself getting angrier at the unfairness of things. Automatically, his fists clenched by his side. "You can't stay here forever?"

A touch of sadness entered her voice. "No."

"I see," Anakin replied. "Then…then at least tell me your third wish. I did promise to give you three after all. So," He struggled to keep his voice even; to keep the tears from falling. "At the very least, let me grant that last wish."

"That's right," she said, her face falling slightly as she looked at the ground. When she looked up again, she had a smile on her lips and a glimmer of a tear in her eyes. "Then for my last wish… Anakin… Please forget about me."

Anakin felt as if the Falcon had just crash landed on his heart.

Tahiri continued talking. "Please, just think that I had never existed. Yes…" Her tears begin rolling down her face, and her body hitched with a sob. "Please… just forget me…"

A harsh wind began blowing around them, tugging at their clothes.

Anakin fought to gather control of his emotions. Finally, he found his voice. "Are you sure? Is your wish really for me to forget you?"

She looked up at him, the tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. "But I don't have any more wishes now…I was able to eat so many of the canapés that I was never supposed to be able to eat again. So… so please just forget me."

Anakin clenched his teeth and then rushed forward, wrapping her in his arms. He was almost surprised that she was so much shorter than he was. It felt like he was holding a 10 year old in his arms.

Her voice wavered, "Anakin?"

He began petting her hair, as he hugged her tight against his chest.

"I'm not a child, you know." She almost sounded indignant.

He chuckled. "Yes you are. You go running off on your own and cause all sorts of problems for people. What's worse is that you try to shoulder all these burdens by yourself." He paused for a moment, and felt a tear race down his right cheek. "You're not alone. I won't accept that wish." Another tear fell on his opposite cheek. "I can't grant it."

"Anakin…"

"There's no way I'd be able to forget about you!"

"Then I know what I want my last wish to be. My last wish is…"

He loosened his grip slightly so he could look down at her. She smiled, and opened her mouth to say something more. Just then the trees around them shook with a violent blast of wind; leaves raced around him. Even though they stood so close, even though he could see her lips moving, he could not hear any sound come from them.

"What did you just say, Tahiri?"

A weak smile graced her lips, and he pulled her into another tight hug.

"Anakin," she said. "Is my body still warm?"

He looked down at her, noticing for the first time the faint blue glow that surrounded her.

"Of course it is," he replied.

"What a relief."

Another wind whipped around Anakin, and suddenly, he was no longer holding her. He blinked in surprise, as he looked around. In the muddy ground, he could see his tracks, and he could see where she had been standing. Yet she had left no tracks, neither arriving nor leaving.

He dropped to his knees, staring at his hands that had been holding onto her. Finally, he used them to cover his face, as the tears began to flow, and his shoulders began to shake.

------------------------------------

A dream.

I'm seeing a dream.

The same normal day, over and over again…

Waiting for the same morning, and then returning to the same dream.

Red, white, cold, warmth, sadness, and then the day starts all over again.

From years ago… I knew it from years ago.

While floating through the endless dream…

While waiting for the dawn that won't come…

I'm sitting at the same place… a crowd without noise… Emotionless people walk by…

Nobody notices the small child sitting all alone on the bench.

She's waiting for someone…

…Someone she knows won't show up…

For someone she knows won't show up for years and years…

I was waiting for years.

Waiting for the dawn that wouldn't come… inside my dream.

But…

--------------------------------

Anakin sat on the bench. It was the same bench he had waited for Jaina at just a few short weeks ago when his father had dropped him off on Yavin. The rich warm fragrances of that day have been replaced by the pungent odor of the night blooming plants of the rain forest.

Yet none of that affected Anakin.

His hands were clasped together between his legs, his back curved, head bowed. If the Jedi Temple had been more into the trappings of religion, one could have assumed him a young monk deep in prayer.

But the Jedi are not concerned about the trappings of religion. Despite the mysticism inherent in their Order, they are very pragmatic and practical people.

Anakin sat like that, because he could not think of a better way to sit.

He was numb; heart broken; a smoldering pain, held deep in his chest, resting lightly on his stomach.

It just made sense to his body to assume that position, when his heart felt as crumpled and curved.

Then he heard the crunch of a boot on the gravel that was spread around the bench.

Jaina's voice intruded on his dark thoughts. "Anakin?"

He looked up at her, and she gave him a weak smile, even though there were tears lining her eyes.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Sorry," he replied. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

Slowly she shook her head. "That's supposed to be my line."

He slid off the bench, and knelt in front of her. "Jaina… I've been depending on you so much… I've been nothing but a spoiled brat."

She knelt in front of him, her hands clutched over her chest. "It's the same with me…I said some mean things to you…"

"Jaina… I… I have to…"

She interrupted him. "Now we're even."

"Even?"

She smiled, and bopped her head. "Yup."

"Even, huh?" A weak smile appeared on his lips. "Did any news come from the medcenter?"

"No."

"I see…" Anakin looked down again.

"Anakin," Jaina began, wiping a tear from her eye. "I'll get stronger."

"Yeah…"

She frowned for a moment. "You look sad."

He shook his head. "That's a trick of the light."

Then she was hugging him. "It'll be okay, little brother. We'll be strong together."

She released him, and he watched her for a moment. "No Krakana."

"It's a promise."

"Yeah."

"And if you break the promise…"

Anakin felt himself grinning despite the pain in his chest. "I'll buy you a strawberry parfait."

She quickly shook her head. "No… not even strawberries will allow me to forgive you if you break this promise."

---

Next Chapter

Memories Ch. 22

Previous Post

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Anakin sat in the rear seat of the Jedi ground car; Jaina beside him, staring out the window watching the pedestrians as they traveled along. They followed the defined path from the Temple to the medical center, moving at an almost sedate pace through the shopping district. Their pace slowed even further as they neared a large crowd. Anakin shifted his attention so that he was looking out Jaina's window.

He saw the twisted, smoking wreckage of the transport, and he blinked his eyes a few times, not quite certain if he believed what he was seeing. That's what hurt Aunt Mara.

Jaina gasped, and slammed her hands against the window. He leaned forward slightly, to see exactly what had caught her attention.

Frowning, he saw it on the ground; the crumpled remains of a strawberry cake.

Jaina dropped her hands from the window, and seemed to shrink in on herself. Her shoulders began to shake, and tears slashed down her face.

Jaina, he thought as he worried about her; wondered how he could help her.

-----------------------

Side-by-side, they stood at the observation window, looking into the small medward where Mara lay on the cot unconscious. Bandages were wrapped around the top of her head, a bright bruise marred her right cheek and eye, and through the oxygen mask strapped to her face, he could make out a thin cut at the edge of her mouth.

After they had stood there silently watching her for a few moments, the Jedi Healer Cilghal stepped up. "We'll do what we can," she began telling us. "But if she remains in this state... I won't lie to either of you, as long as she remains this way, her life remains in jeopardy."

He felt Jaina's emotions twinge. Her pain was a gaping wound in the Force and turned to look at her, seeing the hurt, fear, and tears in her eyes.

Cilghal retreated, and in silence they stood watching Mara's unconscious form. Shortly, he took Jaina by the elbow and led her down the hall to one of the small, comfortable waiting rooms. Making sure she was comfortable, he walked down the hall to the holonet, and quickly placed a call to his parents, making sure that they knew Aunt Mara had been injured.

After getting off the holonet, he rubbed his face, and then returned to the waiting room.

Kam stood there, watching Jaina, a frown on his face. As Anakin entered the room, he turned to face him.

Anakin bowed, and said, "I commed our parents. They said they would be here as soon as they could get here."

Kam nodded his head. "Is there anyone else we should try to contact?"

He shook his head. "Jaina?"

Anakin frowned as he watched the back of Jaina's head. She didn't respond, didn't move, just continued to stare down towards her hands. He sighed, and turned to find Kam watching her again. "Jaina... be strong, all right. The Force will work its will. If you need anything, you can contact either me or Tionne." When Jaina still didn't move, Kam turned and started to leave. He paused by Anakin. "Contact me if anything changes."

Anakin nodded his head. "Will do, Master."

Then he was gone, leaving Anakin and Jaina alone. He turned away from the closed door, and watched Jaina where she sat on a couch, her head bowed, as she watched the floor.

"Jaina?"

No response.

"Don't worry, Jaya. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Later that night, the door to the waiting room opened, and a nurse stepped into the room. Anakin bolted out of his seat. "Did something happen?"

The nurse blushed slightly, and then shook her head, holding out a couple of blankets. "No. There's been no change. I just thought you two would like to have some blankets."

Sighing, Anakin walked to the nurse and took the blankets. He returned to the couches, and unfurled one of them to wrap around Jaina's shoulders.

Jaina still did not move or respond. She just watched the floor.

Anakin sighed again, and returned to his place.

The next morning, the doctor stepped into the room, a frown on his face. He was an elderly human, at least 50 standard years old, with iron grey hair and dark eyes. As he walked around to the chairs and couches, Jaina reacted for the first time in hours. She lifted her head to watch the doctor.

The doctor dropped onto one of the chairs, and allowed his eyes to flicker between them. "There still hasn't been a change in Master Skywalker's condition. Likewise, we think that her condition will remain unchanged for the foreseeable future. We'll contact you the moment something changes, so why don't you two go home and get some rest?"

Anakin nodded his head. "Thank you, Doctor."

The older man stood up, and started from the room. He paused as he passed Jaina. "Just make sure to keep your comlinks on you and on at all times."

Anakin nodded again. "All right."

--------------------------------------

They got to the apartment, and Anakin opened the door. Jaina walked in, her movements stiff and unnatural. Without looking around, she walked into the kitchen and sat at her place at the dining room table.

Anakin closed the door, and followed her. He settled into the chair beside her. Silence hung heavy around them; a weight pressing down on his shoulders.

Interrupted by a bright cheerful, "Ikrit!"

He looked down, and saw the white creature sitting a few paces from him, its head cocked to the side, intelligent blue eyes boring holes into him.

Anakin grinned at the creature. "Ah, we left you all alone didn't we? You must be starved." He stood up, and placed a hand on Jaina's shoulder. "And we should eat something also."

She continued to look at the top of the table, ignoring him.

He sighed, and went to the kitchen. First he laid out something for Ikrit to eat, and then he went and made his and Jaina's breakfast.

A short while later, he placed the food in front of her. "Here you go Jaina. Hope you like it, but it's the only breakfast food I know how to fix. And you need to eat, aft-"

"It's my fault," she interrupted him, speaking for the first time since the trip to the hospital the day before.

Startled, he almost dropped his plate of food. Carefully, he set the plate down, and then looked at Jaina.

"It's... it's because I wanted strawberry cake. That's why.... that's..."

"Idiot!" Anakin interjected. "What are you saying?"

Jaina jumped, and then pushed back away from the table. In one smooth movement, she was up and running for her room.

"Jaina!" he called after her, even though he didn't expect her to stop.

------------------------------------

Anakin stopped in front of Jaina's door. He stared at the simple barrier, and then looked down at the plate he held in his hands. Gently, he rapped on the door three times. He waited, hoping that she would respond. Some part of him, knowing better.

"Jaina?"

There was no response.

"I'm going to the Temple," he told the door. "I need to tell the Masters, and pick up our bags."

There was still no answer, and he looked down at Ikrit, where the creature was calmly sitting near his feet. Sighing, he knelt down and placed the plate on the floor.

"I'm leaving your food here. Make sure you eat."

Then he left and went to the Temple.

Once he had finished talking to the Masters concerning Mara's conditions, Anakin went and retrieved his and Jaina's school bags from their classroom. Then he wandered back towards the front of the Temple, intending on going home to Jaina. As he neared the stairwell leading to the ground floor, someone called out, "Anakin!"

He turned and tossed a glance over his shoulder to see Raynar running towards him. He forced a grin to his lips, and replied, "Hey."

Raynar stumbled to a stop in front of Anakin. "Uhm... so how is she?"

"She's still getting treated."

"I see," Rayner replied. "How's Jaina?"

Anakin looked away, not really wanting to tell Raynar how Jaina was behaving.

After a moment, Raynar blurted out, "I see." Then he dropped his hands onto Anakin's shoulders. "Hang in there! If there's anything I can do, then I'll do it."

Anakin watched his friend for a moment, and then nodded his head. "Yeah... thanks."

As he left the Temple, and began the walk towards the apartment, he saw a smattering of hulls on the ground. He stopped in his tracks, recognizing the hulls as being the shells of vweliu nuts.

Suddenly, images flashed across his mind once again. Him, knocking away the rhyscate that Jaina had made him, even as he raised his hand to strike his sister. Pain and sorrow gripped his heart, as his shoulders slumped under the weight of the memories, and the emotions they unlocked.

Once he arrived back at the apartment, he went to Jaina's room. The plate of food he had left her still sat in the hallway, and Ikrit sat beside it, staring intently at the closed door to Jaina's room.

He rapped on the door twice. "Jaina, I've come back. I... I stopped by the medcenter, but there's not been a change so far." No response came to him, and he frowned. "You're in there, aren't you? I'm coming in."

He grabbed the handle, but it refused to turn.

Frowning at the handle, he continued speaking. "Hey, I've got your books and bag from school, so open the door already."

Jaina finally responded, her voice quiet and weak. "Just leave it there."

"Jaina! I want to talk to you," he said as he began to beat heavily on the door.

"Stop it," the quiet voice replied.

Anakin ignored her, and continued to beat on the door. "Jaina!"

"Stop it!" she screamed at him. Startled, he took a step backwards, and a moment later she continued speaking, once more in the quiet, weak voice. "Please. Just stop it. I'm sorry, Anakin."

He dropped her bag beside the uneaten plate of food, and then went to his room. Throwing his own bag onto his bed, he sat at the desk. On top of it sat the small winged doll, Tahiri's lost item. He sighed, and opened one of the drawers, and picked up a thin flimsie with a still image on it. A still image showing, himself, Jaina, Mara and Sannah.

He stared at Sannah's smiling face, struggling to keep the tears from coming.

If she were around, he thought. If she were around right now, would she have brightened the mood?

The latch of his door shifted, and his head snapped that way as it began to swing open. His breath caught in his throat, as he watched it.

Then he sighed, as Ikrit came strolling through, his large blue eyes watching Anakin. Anakin dropped his head onto his desk, allowing it to thump hard against the wood. Squeezing his eyes shut, he was once again granted an image of memories. Specifically, the memory of him raising his hand to hit Jaina. Of him, knocking the rhyscate she had made him to the ground.

Then another memory came to him. A newer one. Jaina in the kitchen helping Sannah prepare a rhyscate, an odd, sad look in her eyes. Noticing him, she turned towards him and had asked, "Anakin, does the smell of this rhyscate remind you of anything?"

He felt a tear escape, and slice its way down his cheek. "So she remembered that all these years," he muttered to himself. "But... why was I crying that day?"

He lifted his head, and looked out the window. I remembered Sannah, and Tenel-Ka and even Jaina... but I'm still forgetting something. Something.... And I know that it's very important.

The next morning, Anakin once more knocked on Jaina's door. "Jaina, I'm going to the medcenter. I'll just leave your food here."

No answer came, and he sighed, and left the apartment.

Once he arrived at the medcenter he spoke shortly with the doctor and then sat with Mara for a while. Once the silence began to eat at his mind, he went to the Temple and spoke with Master Horn, explaining that they would still be out for a few more days. Then he went and bought some more food. As he walked through the produce section of the market, he noticed a container of wveliu nuts. He sighed, and quickly made his purchases and returned to the apartment.

When he opened the door, he found Ikrit waiting for him, sitting, watching; his blue eyes as piercing as always. As soon as Anakin had entered the apartment, Ikrit turned and darted into its depths, heading towards the hallway where the bedrooms were.

Anakin dropped his bags, and followed Ikrit into the hall and noticed that Jaina had eaten some of her food.

He knocked on the door again. "Hey Jaina? Have you calmed down now?"

Ikrit weaved through his feet, and butted the back of his legs. Then he darted forward and started scratching at Jaina's door. Hesitantly, Anakin reached out and gripped the handle, and twisted. Surprise shot through him as the door unlatched.

Pushing it open, he called out, "I'm coming in."

Slowly, the door swung open. The lights were out, the room itself neater than he could ever remember seeing it before. Sitting on the floor, in the darkest corner, near one of the windows was Jaina. She was huddled into a ball, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs with her back facing him.

"Anakin," she said. "Get out."

------------------------------------

Jaina's voice was cold, harsh and filled with grief and pain as she said, "Get out Anakin. I don't want to talk to or see anybody right now. I... I want to just be alone."

Anakin frowned at his sister for a moment. "It's been a while, Jaina." He laughed nervously, as he continued. "Was my cooking good? Of course compared to Aunt Mara's it'd be-"

At the mention of Mara's name, Jaina's back tensed, her whole presence seemed to deflate ever so slightly.

Anakin sighed, and watched her for a minute before continuing. "Do you plan to continue blaming yourself? Mara will be all right. Do you think that she'd let something so small keep her from us?"

"Anakin... Can you make a miracle happen?"

Anakin's mouth dropped open, as he wondered what he could say to her.

"For the past few years, I've lived here with Aunt Mara. Ever since... Jacen... You remember Jacen now, don't you Anakin? I know you two never got along all that well, but he loved you. He was my twin, I know it. I, I felt it. Yet, when he died, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't breathe, or eat or even sleep. Mom and Dad fought so often, and when they weren't fighting, they were treating me with kid gloves. Trying to make sure that I didn't break or cry. Yet that was what I needed. Finally, I couldn't stand being there, in the house where we all lived, any more and I fled. Aunt Mara found me two weeks later on Azbrian.

Jaina paused for a moment, sniffling back tears. "She asked me to be her apprentice, and I came to Yavin IV with her, and we've been here ever since, save for the occasional mission which Uncle Luke would send us on. She... she saved me. She told me that it was okay to cry; to rage against the universe. That I could be angry and miss Jacen, but that I couldn't let it control me. She taught me how. I was hurting, missing the bond with my other half--with Jacen. And the training bond saved me. It gave me an anchor on which I could rebuild my life. But here I am, once again alone. Only... only this time it's my fault that my anchor is gone. It's my fault that I'm all alone."

"You're not alone," he replied. "You've got a lot of friends up at the Academy: Kiori, Raynar, and your teammates. And I'm here as well."

"You?"

"Yeah. I'm right here by you, aren't I?"

"Six years. After forgetting about me for six years?"

Anakin felt the pain of her accusation stabbing deep into him.

Then she spoke another word, one he could just barely make out through her tear strained voice. "Liar."

She started crying in earnest, and after a few minutes, looked up at him. He could see the tears shining brightly on her cheeks. "You never took any of my calls, never replied to any of the messages I sent you."

"But I did view them all."

"When I never heard anything back from you, I wondered if you had even forgotten me. I..." she paused, and exhaled. "When I went to pick you up at the landing field that day... I was scared. Scared that you would have forgotten my name. Scared that you had forgotten me."

He squeezed his hand into a tight fist, and started walking towards her. "I remembered what happened at the landing field that day six years ago. What I did." He knelt down beside her. "I... I'm sorry about the ryshcate. Won't you forgive me?"

She lowered her head, and once more refused to look at him. "It's in the past."

"Can't... Can't I at least sit in here with you?"

Her shoulders started to shake again. "You can't. You... can't... "

The clouds outside her window parted, and brilliant light from Yavin flooded the room. Jaina lifted her head towards the gas giant, and started crying even harder. "I... I can't smile anymore... I'm alone again..."

"Jai-"

"Get out!" she yelled at him.

Startled by the vehemence of her reaction, he jerked backwards, slamming his head against her desk. He heard something rolling, and watched as the red marble he had bought her rolled of the desk, and dropped to the floor. It bounced once, and then came to a rest in front of Jaina.

He reached his hand out towards her, and she yelled once again, "Get out!"

------------------------------------

Anakin lay on his bed, his arms crossed beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Ikrit was curled in a ball beside him, softly snoring as he slept.

Miracle, huh? he thought to himself as once more the image of him knocking the rhyscate from her hands flickered through his mind. How callous of me to say that "I'm here" after forgetting about that for all these years... Frowning, he shifted his head slightly until he could see the small winged doll on his desk. But something like that happened years ago.

The world began to waver, as he started to drift off to sleep. Someone got hurt... and hurt badly... and I couldn't do anything about it.

The next thing he knew, he was once more dreaming. Running through the Academy, heading to the temple where he knew she would be waiting. He raced down a flight of stairs, jumping off the last five. For a moment, a grin slashed across his face. He knew that his uncle wouldn't have approved of that.

Then he was running once more. He turned a final corner, and then darted out into the open field in front of the Jedi Temple. Turning to the north-east, he raced into the woods, dodging low hanging branches, and pushing aside the vines that tried to cling to him. Finally, he arrived at their temple and found her sitting on a log, her arms crossed over her chest, and a scowl on her face. She looked up at him, and declared, "You're late."

He chuckled. "But you said I could show up whenever I wanted to."

"Even still, you're late."

Raising the bag he held in his hand, he replied, "Well, I brought a snack to make up for it."

Her eyes lit up with joy as her lips twisted into a smile. "Canapés?"

He laughed as he pulled out the pastry and handed it over to her. "Would I bring you anything else?"

"No," she muttered between mouthfuls.

Silence hung over them while they ate. Once she had finished, she looked over at him, her face falling slightly. "So, have you gotten all packed up yet?"

"Nope. Besides, you don't have to worry about it, because today's our last day."

She stomped her foot onto the stone floor hard. "It can't be our last! You promised we would get to meet again."

"Right," Anakin replied as he popped his last bit of canapé into his mouth.

She looked up at him, her green eyes wavering, her eyebrows upturned slightly. "You promised we would come here again."

"I know; it's a promise."

"Yeah," she replied sullenly. "A promise..."

"Tell you what; the next time I come I'll introduce you to my sister. I'm sure the two of you will get along great."

She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, and then nodded her head. "All right... I guess."

He stood up and held his hand out towards her. "Come on; let's get back to the Jedi Temple."

She grasped his hand, and together they raced through the woods until they arrived at the clearing. Anakin looked around and stopped in his tracks. Over near the large river was a silver raft. It glimmered in the brilliant light of the afternoon sun. He swallowed hard, knowing that he had seen that raft before in a dream. As if he were on autopilot, he walked towards it, Tahiri following closely behind him. Together they climbed aboard, and pushed the raft out into the river.

It wobbled slightly, and they both gripped the sides, then they were in the current, being pulled downstream by the powerful river. Anakin looked over his shoulder and saw the Jedi Temple shrinking in the distance. Then he focused on Tahiri who had a look of utter terror on her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shook her head viciously, causing her hair to whip from side to side. "I... Nothing... It's just I've never been on water like this before..."

Anakin nodded his head, and then looked up at the sky. "This is the raft from our dreams, but the sky is blue and clear."

Tahiri lifted her head to look up at the sky, and slowly nodded.

In silence they traveled further down the river. Suddenly the sky darkened, and with a crack of thunder rain began to pelt them. Tahiri screamed in surprise as the first fat drop of water struck her nose.

The river, barely calm at the best of times, developed a chop, and began to rock the boat hard.

Lightning struck a tree on the back, and it crashed into the river. The wave from the tree's collapse slammed into the side of the boat, capsizing it. Tahiri's scream was cut off when she struck the water.

Anakin hit the water hard, and the breath exploded from him. He broke the surface a moment later, and frantically began looking around for her.

A splash sounded close by his ear, and he looked up just in time to see another fist-sized piece of hail slam into the water.

"Tahiri! Tahiri!" he called out, growing more and more scared as she did not appear.

Finally she broke the surface about two dozen meters from him. He began swimming over to her as fast as he could. Ten meters from her, was when it happened. It was another chunk of fist-sized hail. It was a hard, hollow sound, and she went under almost immediately.

He screamed her name once again and taking a deep breath, he dove in after her. Following the trail of red left in the water, he swam deeper and deeper. His lungs began to scream with the need to breath, but he pushed on. He touched the bottom, and found her. He pulled her to him, and then pushed off the river bed as hard as he could. Pain etched at his sides as he kicked towards the surface, the need to breathe a painful burn in his throat, chest and even tracing around to his back.

Finally he broke the surface, and sucked in a deep breath. He looked down at Tahiri, and saw how pale she was, almost a blue color, and began swimming as hard as he could towards the shore. His arms and legs burned with the exertion, and he felt hot tears mingled with the freezing rain and river. Finally, he made it to the shore, and he drug Tahiri out of the river and up into the forest.

He laid her as close to one of the massive trees as he could; used it to shelter them from the worst of the hail and rain. He shook her slightly, and with a start realized that she wasn't breathing. Squeezing his eyes shut, he struggled to remember the CPR lessons that all the Jedi trainees were forced to take. Uncertainty tugged at him, as he tilted her head back, and then took a deep breath, and pressed his lips to hers, exhaling forcefully.

Pulling away slightly, she still did not respond, so he repeated the process.

She coughed, spitting out a mouthful of water in the process.

He barked a laugh through his tears, as she opened her eyes.

"An... Ana...kin..."

"Don't talk," he cried out. "I'll get Uncle Luke and Master Cilghal."

"I...it...."

Anakin reached out and grasped her hand. As he lifted it, he noticed the blood that had pooled beneath her, and his body hitched. "It's... it'll be all right."

"I... fell in..." she replied as a tremor raced through her body. "I knew I had nev...er swam before.... but I..." She blinked her eyes, and gasped. "I... I can't feel the pain anymore."

"That's good, isn't it?" Anakin responded, scared somehow at how dim her eyes had gotten.

Those green eyes, which usually were so bright with life and laughter, shifted towards him. "Anakin, what's going to happen to me?"

"I... You're not hurting, so it'll be fine."

"I can't move, Anakin. Why can't I move?"

He squeezed her hand tighter. "It's all right if you can't move. I'll carry you back to the Temple."

He watched as tears flowed down her cheeks. "If I can't move, how can we... have more adventures? How can we play... again?"

Anakin felt his own eyes burn with tears, and he scrubbed his face with his free hand.

"Anakin?" Her voice was weaker now, barely a whisper. "Will you... play with me... again?"

"O-of course."

Her lips twitched into a smile, as her eyes began to shut. "Th-then it's... it's a prom...promise..."

Her body convulsed once and then went limp, and she shifted slightly. Anakin tilted his head back, and screamed "Tahiri!"

With a start, Anakin bolted upright. Tahiri's name still echoing around his room, and Ikrit was sitting at the foot of the bed, his blue eyes watching him. Anakin covered his face with his hand, his entire body shaking from the dream. He looked up, and saw the small doll sitting on his desk.

Without really thinking about it, he jumped out of bed and snatched up the doll, and then he raced out of the apartment. As he was leaving the building, he ran into someone. Stumbling, he twisted around to look at who it was, and found Raynar standing there.

"Raynar."

Raynar turned around, and looked at him, a frown on his face. "I came to check on you and Jaina." He lifted a bag of food. "And I brought something for dinner. Is something wrong?"

"Raynar... I... I remember. Now I remember."

Confusion was evident on his face. "Huh? Remember what?"

"Tahiri's.... Tahiri's...."

"Uhm, what's wrong with Tahiri?"

Anakin shook his head, and began running again. "Take care of Jaina for me."

"Hey! Anakin!"

But Anakin ignored him, and raced towards the river, and the Temple just beyond it.

As fast as he could, he ran up the path, dodging branches and fallen logs. Finally, he arrived at the melted temple, and stood there clutching the small doll, as he turned in a circle. "Tahiri!"

Frowning when she didn't respond, he raced deeper into the woods. All the time, calling out Tahiri's name.

He crested a ridge, and looked down into a dry creek bed. Suddenly, a large rain drop hit him in the head. He lifted his face to the sky, as the rain began in earnest. Instantly, he was drenched. He turned to the right, intending to follow the creek bed for a ways, when the ground suddenly gave out from beneath him. His ankle twisted, and he could hear a snap even over the sound of the pounding rain, and pain flared to life in his ankle.

Then he hit the creek bed. The wind whooshed out of him, and he struggled to regain his breath. Finally, he was able to sit up. He looked around, and saw Tahiri's doll. Snatching it back up, he stood, and instantly fell back to the creek bed. His head cracked against a rock which jutted up out of the ground.

He lay there on the creek bed as the water began to flow around him.

If I just lay here like this, he thought. Will I be able to go where she is? I'm sorry everyone....

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