Thursday, November 6, 2008
Memories Ch 24
A dream...
The day the dream ends...
Like the snow melting away under the spring sun...
Like how people's facades fade as they age...
Like how memories start to fade and disappear in the course of eternal time...
Now the long dream reaches an end...
After granting the final wish...
The one wish...
My wish is...
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The alarm clock started ringing, a constantly changing metronome which Anakin found annoying; the perfect impetuous to drag him out of bed.
Groaning, he opened his eyes, finding his face in a shaft of brilliant sunlight. He blinked twice and then rolled out of the bed, stretching muscles tightened by sleep. Leaving the room, he turned off his alarm clock on the way out, and as he entered the hallway, he could clearly hear the myriad alarms Jaina had set up in her room.
Sighing, he knocked on her door. "Jaina!"
When no answer came, he opened the door and quickly turned off her alarms. Then he turned towards his sister, and frowned. "Wake up, Jaina."
After getting her up and moving, they walked down the hallways towards the kitchen. Jaina looked over at him, a sly grin on her face. "I finally got a message back from Zekk."
He snorted. "Told you that you should send him one."
Sticking her tongue out at him, she darted around the corner and into the kitchen. Over her shoulder she called out, "Brat!"
Laughing, he followed her, to find Mara setting a plate onto the table. Ben was set on her hip, and he cooed as he saw them both.
Jaina settled into her customary spot, and looked at a jar. She pulled it towards her, and unscrewed the cap, sniffing its contents carefully. "Oh! This is a new jam isn't it?"
Mara smiled, and Anakin was slightly amazed at how well she had recovered in the past few weeks.
Too soon, Anakin found himself running behind Jaina, as they threaded through the crowds on their way to the Temple. Panting, he ground out, "How exactly did it come to this again?"
"That's just because Aunt Mara's new jam was so good," she replied with a giggle. Then she looked down at the chronometer attached to her wrist. "If you don't want to be late, we've got to run faster"
He sighed and tried to run faster.
They stumbled into the classroom just as the morning bell went off. Jaina looked around with a gloating smile on her face. "We made it."
Anakin slowly went over to his seat and collapsed into it. "Next time we're running late, don't eat so much. You can eat Mara's jam whenever you want."
Jaina settled into her seat next to his, and nodded her head. "Yeah... you're right... I can eat her jam whenever."
Smiling, he leaned towards her slightly. "Well, just make sure you eat that jam for her next time as well."
Jaina shuddered, her eyes squeezing shut in remembered pain. "I... no, you eat it."
"I'm allergic to jams."
She looked at him, a dubious expression on her face. "I've never heard of such a thing before..."
Raynar and Kiori walked over. "Hey!" Raynar called over. "What are you guys talking about?"
Anakin looked at his two friends. "We're talking about Mara's special blend jam."
Kiori's eyes opened wider in shock and fear. "Th...that's still around?"
"So, you've had it to," Anakin responded.
Kiori nodded. "Once. I went over while Jaina and I were working together on a project for Master Horn, and Master Skywalker served it to us."
"I see," Anakin replied.
"What?" Raynar cried out, looking between the three of them. "What's this jam all about?"
"There are some things that one is better off not knowing about," Anakin said, as the two girls quickly nodded their head in agreement.
Suddenly, Kiori slapped her hands together. "Oh! I almost forget... Anakin guess what."
Startled slightly, he looked up to see the bright smile on her face.
At the first break, he ran down the steps, and into the courtyard garden. Panting, he began looking around. He took a few more steps, heading deeper into the garden courtyard.
Then he heard the sound of someone stepping on the gravel behind him. "Anakin?"
He felt himself smiling. "I figured you'd come out here."
"Yes," she replied. "I'm back at school today."
He continued to look at the distance. "Why not keep skipping. You're going to have to repeat the entire year's worth of work."
"I don't like people who say such things."
He turned around and found Nelani standing there. She was dressed in a set of Jedi robes, her hands clasped in front of her and a bright smile on her lips.
"Long time no see," she said, her eyes dancing with happiness.
"Yeah," he replied as he closed the distance between them. When he got close enough, he rubbed at her hair. "I'm happy for you Nelani... that you can come to school again."
"Anakin..."
"Hey, let's celebrate again at Poltx; to celebrate you getting better."
"At times like this...." She lowered her head, and when she lifted her face towards her again, tears lined her eyes. "At... At times like this.... I can cry right?"
"Yeah," he replied nodding his head.
"Anakin!" she exclaimed, and grabbed the front of his tunic, burying her face in it. Her shoulders shaking as she cried into his chest. "I... I never wanted to die... I didn't want to say goodbye... I don't want to be...alone...."
Anakin wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his chest. "When you want to cry you can; since you've been strong all this time."
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Anakin sat on the thin mat. Across from him was Tenel Ka, and setting out the boxes of food was Eyrl. Once the food was put out, she threw her arms forward and grinned brightly
"Please, eat up!"
Anakin gathered up his share, and began eating. "I'm just happy you two managed to get out of the medward before the term ended. Weren't you both supposed to be knighted?"
"Yeah," Eyrl answered. "Even Master Cilghal was surprised. She said it was something of a miracle that we got out as early as we did. Right Tenel Ka?"
Tenel Ka nodded.
Anakin frowned at something Eyrl had said. It tugged at the jumbled mess of his memories. Miracle?
Eyrl continued speaking. "Yeah, though we're going to have to wait a while longer before we can get knighted. Master Skywalker thinks we might have missed a bit too much of this terms lessons. Right Tenel Ka?"
Tenel Ka nodded.
Anakin looked at her for a moment. "What exactly is your plan after you're knighted? Are you going into one of the government service programs or are you going to become a Jedi?"
Tenel Ka shrugged. "Government service has no appeal to me."
Anakin snorted. "Why not? I think you'd be good in the diplomatic corps."
She frowned and then reached over and slapped her hand onto the top of his head. "Ow!"
Eyrl giggled slightly. "Anakin, did you ever find your missing friend?"
"Tahiri?" he said with a slight sigh. "She said we weren't going to be able to see each other again, so I guess she left. She might have even gone back to Tatooine."
Smiling sadly, he picked up his plate again and once more began to eat.
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After he had been released from training for the day, Anakin strolled through the shopping district. As he turned every corner, he still half expected someone to come jumping onto his back and screaming out his name.
He was surprised at how much he missed her exuberance.
"Solo?"
Startled, he spun around to see who had called his name. For a split second he thought it was going to be Tahiri, instead it was Mara. "A-aunt Mara?"
Amusement twinkled in her eyes, as she tilted her head slightly. "Ah? Did you mistake me for someone else?" Then she twirled a strand of her red hair around one of her manicured fingers. "I can understand the eyes, Solo, but the hair is not quite right."
"Ah... no... it wasn't that..." he replied, scratching at his own hair. "Besides, she'd never call me 'Solo.'"
A sad look appeared in her eyes, as she nodded her head. Then she pointed towards a building across the street. "Let's go over there."
He followed her finger, and saw Poltx. Nodding his head, he followed her to it, and soon they were seated at a table across from each other.
After they had ordered, he looked at her. "I'm happy that there's no long term effect from the accident."
She smiled slightly. "Yeah, Cilghal was surprised as well. She even went so far as to call it a miracle." She looked down at the table as their teas were placed in front of them. A frown touched her lips for a moment, before she smiled again. Finally, she lifted her face to look at him once more. "Anakin, do you have any idea where Tahiri is? It's been bothering me, and I know Jaina is worried as well. Kriff, even Ben liked her. It's just not the same without her around."
Anakin lowered his head, and wrapped his hands around his cup, enjoying its warmth against his hands. He felt another pang of heartache, as what Mara was saying stirred up conflicting emotions. "Aunt Mara... I... I remember now."
"Huh?"
"About what happened all those years ago... Why I lost my memories... The last day of my training session, just hours before I was supposed to leave on the Falcon... my friend..." He clenched his teeth before continuing. "We were on the river... and she fell in, and got pulled away... when I got to her she wasn't breathing... Uncle Luke found us at that melted temple and then asked me what happened and then I was waiting to go back to Coruscant.
"As I sat on the bench waiting for Dad, Jaina came by. She... she didn't know what had happened and I... well, I took my frustrations and anger out on her. Then I fled with Dad back home. I don't remember much after that, and it's not until a year ago that my memories really begin again.
"I know you're just being considerate about my feelings when you didn't tell me about the accident. One day you did ask me about one of the Temples, to see if I remembered what had happened.
"That's why you asked... and I assume that's why the Temple was razed. Because.... Because that girl... my friend.... Her name was Tahiri Veila. Tahiri.... She's... she's not here anymore.... One with the Force as Uncle Luke would say."
He clenched his jaws together and dropped his head. He felt his body shaking slightly; as he fought the tears that he knew would come if he let them.
Mara gently touched his hand, and he lifted his head to look at her.
After a moment she spoke. "You can be a bit dense sometimes, you know that Solo? That girl... Your Uncle had a state of the art medical center built here because of her. She's not dead, but..."
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A Dream....
I'm seeing a dream...
A dream of the person most dear to me, sitting by my side.
He talks to me. He lets me hear about so many things. There are so many stories that he tells me...
A story about his sister who he met again after seven years.
A story of a girl that was a fish.
A story of a strange girl who would appear in the Temple's courtyards every day.
A story of a girl who fought her own demons.
And a story about a childhood friend who he met every day in the shopping districts.
A dream...
I'm seeing a dream...
A dream of being by my dearest person.
A daily life that repeats; pieces of dreams comes one after another and fill my heart.
Just like the seasons change. From winter to spring to summer to fall and back to winter.
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Anakin walked behind the nurse, his emotions flashing from one end of the spectrum to the other. Fragments of memories were jumbled in his head, the most prominent of which were parts of the conversation he had just had with Mara.
Finally, the nurse stopped and pulled open a door. Anakin paused, not wanting to look in. Then he stepped forward. The room was dominated by a bed, an array of medical scanners and equipment were attached to the wall by the head of the bed. The far wall from him had a wide window which allowed streams of the afternoon sun to fall on the bed.
Lying there, her features highlighted by the sun, was Tahiri. Her hair was longer than he remembered, and her chest lifted and lowered slowly and evenly with her breathing.
He stepped forward, and noticed that her hand was clenched tightly around a small doll. He took another step, and recognized the doll as the one he had given her.
Slowly, mechanically he crossed the room to her bed. Then he fell to his knees and dropped his head to her bed, resting it gently on her shoulder.
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Time passed slowly; Anakin visited daily. On occasion Nelani or Tenel Ka or Eyrl or Jaina would visit her with him. It was a firm part of his routine, as important to him as training ever was. He helped care for her, washed her hair, massaged her legs, but most of all he talked to her. He told her stories and anecdotes and the trials he was going through in order to complete his training.
While not exactly happy, neither was he sad. Tahiri was in front of him, there every day, just as he was there for her.
One day, while washing her hair with Jaina's help, Jaina paused for a moment. She frowned down at Tahiri's still form. "What happened to her necklace?"
Anakin frowned as he looked at her neck. The necklace was gone, and thinking back he realized that she had never had it on.
He shook his head. "I'm not sure, I don't remember seeing it."
Then with that said, they returned to washing her hair.
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Anakin sat on the bench across from Nelani. In her hand she held a sketchbook and a chunk of charcoal. Her hand moved with deft strokes, creating a skritching sound from the paper.
She lifted her eyes for a second. "Have you ever wondered if you were in someone's dream?"
"What's that?"
She paused in her drawing. "It's a 'what-if' situation." Her head titled slightly to the side. "For example, the person whose dream it is can grant a single wish. Originally in the dream the one thing the person could do was cry, but the person never gave up waiting."
She lowered the pad to the flat of her lap, and then continued speaking. "Then... then there was a small chance. The wish is kind of like a present that's been given to her for waiting so long. After all, that person has waited year after year. That way she'd be capable of granting any one wish. Saving a sickly girl... saving someone who got hurt in an accident... even healing the hurt friends...."
"Isn't there only supposed to be one wish?"
"I don't know what she wished for, but maybe... what if it was 'I want my dearest person to always be smiling?' Maybe it was a wish like that, and for that to come true, everyone around that person would have to be having a happy life too..."
Anakin lifted an eyebrow as he watched Nelani. "How are you able to think like that?"
Quickly, she began shaking her head. "I don't know..." She focused on him for a moment, and then lifted her eyes towards the sky. Then she shrugged her shoulders and said, "It's just a thought I've had ever since I got better."
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As was his custom, Anakin was sitting next to Tahiri, telling her about his day. As usual, she lay there, her eyes closed, not responding to anything he said.
The door opened, and he looked that way, to see Tenel Ka stepping into the room. She paused in the door way, her grey eyes boring into his.
He stood up, and allowed Tenel Ka to take the seat by the bed, while he prepared tea for them both. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he asked, "You're not with Eyrl today?"
She remained silent for a long heartbeat; finally she bowed her head slightly. "Anakin... I am certain that she is still waiting for you." She looked up at him, as he turned to face her. "Go find her. Go find her, the way you found me."
Anakin frowned for a moment. "Find her?"
"Yes. I am certain that it is something that only you can do. The only person who can keep the promise, is the person with whom the promise was made."
As Anakin watched her, she lowered her head and once more began watching Tahiri.
"Where is she waiting?" he asked.
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I loved the scenery that flew by.
Spring.
The forest vibrant and life waking up.
I loved running through the forest, leaving behind my footprints in the moist ground.
Summer.
I loved the heat and warmth as I moved through the woods; all hints of the winter hidden by the dense foliage of the canopy.
Autumn.
The world begins to wait. The Forest closes begins to close in upon itself, readying for the long cold winter.
Winter.
The first biting chill wind. Going to the mountains, catching the snowflakes as they fall.
And then it's back to Spring.
The season of new life. The season when the flowers flare in a riot of colors.
I loved the scenery that flew by.
But, like a puddle frozen in winter, so my time has frozen.
I was always alone; all the while seeing the same scene repeated day after unending day. I was always alone while viewing the same unending night...
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He walked through the forest, heading deeper into it. He stumbled forward, and broke through into the clearing which housed the melted temple.
Looking around, he advanced forward slightly, and then he looked up at the sky. Sighing, not entirely certain what he was doing here, he began looking around.
And that was when he saw it.
A small parcel, aged, tossed away into the brush. He frowned, wondering why he had never seen it before. He picked it up, and with a start he realized that he had seen it before. It had been something he had bought. Carefully, he opened it up, and sitting inside was a necklace.
The pendant was a brown smooth stone, with a silver wire wrapped around it to hold it to the thin metal chain.
As he looked at it, in his mind's eye he saw Tahiri standing there, holding up the chains, as she said, "Yes, I do. It was a present from someone and means a lot to me." Then there was another time when they had discussed the necklace, and she had asked, "Do you remember when you gave this to me?"
Tears flowed down his cheek, as he crumpled to the ground. I never gave Tahiri the necklace. I never did...
As he cried, all the memories came slamming back, forcing him to realize all the things that he had done in his effort to forget his pain.
I never gave it to her, he thought. Instead I choose to believe that I had. I chose an illusion over reality. I forced away my sadness; I couldn't face it. I accepted the illusion that put me at ease, and I did it just because I didn't want to hurt anymore. I did it because I didn't want my heart to break any more than it already had.
He lifted his head and looked around. Everything around him felt surreal and altered. He looked down and realized that he was a child again; no more than eleven years old. He stood and walked back down the path. Before long he arrived where the city should have been, instead it was the woods of the past.
He continued on, through the path, up the slight hill until he came to the forbidding edifice which is the Jedi Temple. Feeling dwarfed in his childhood body, he entered the Temple through the wide hanger doors, and found her sitting on a stone bench. Her bare feet swung in time to a melody she was humming. Her green eyes flashed with happiness as she looked up at him. "You're late Anakin."
He nodded his head. "Yeah. This time I was really late."
Her smile was slightly bitter. "I don't think I want to play today though. I'm a bit tired from waiting."
"Did you worry that I might not come?"
She shook her head. "Nope. We promised, remember?"
"Tahiri," he said, as he lifted the package and held it out to her. "Here."
She looked at it for a moment. "What's that?"
"I said I had something to give you," he replied.
She sprang from her seat and rushed towards him. When she arrived in front of him, she took the package; her smile was brilliant as she looked down at it.
He held out his hand towards her. "Tahiri?"
She lifted her head.
"Come on. Let's go."
She watched his hand for a moment, and then nodded her head. "Yep."
Then her small hand slipped into his, and together they walked towards the setting sun.
Next Chapter
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