Memories Chapter 9

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It was breakfast. An uncomfortable silence had fallen over everyone, a tenseness that hung in the air, which no one could really name a reason for, but everyone seemed to recognize. Anakin stole furtive glances at Sannah where she sat across the table from him, watching her as she slowly ate her food.

Suddenly, Sannah's fork was rattling on the floor as she stared at her hand. With her voice low and filled with confusion, she stammered, "I, I dropped my fork."

Mara stood up, a frown flickering across her face. "I'll wash it for you."

Anakin watched as the Jedi Master walked around the table and bent over to pick up the young girl's fork. He then focused on Sannah again, noticing that she was still staring at her hand. As if by dropping the fork, it had suddenly become something alien and unknown. Slowly, she closed her hand and then opened it again, her yellow eyes never moving from her fingers.

Mara returned from the kitchen and held the fork out towards Sannah. "Here," she said.

Sannah took the fork, her focus shifting between the offending piece of cutlery and her own hand. "Thank you," she mumbled, not looking at Mara.

Mara spoke again, "Make sure you hold it right."

Sannah nodded her head, and went to spear a piece of sausage. As she did, the fork slid from her grasp again, clattering to her plate loudly. Hesitantly, she squeezed her hand into a fist a few times and began to chew on her lower lip.

From beside him, Jaina leaned forward against the table, concern etched into her eyes. "Are you sure you're all right Sannah?"

Sannah continued to stare at her hand, and slowly nodded her head. "Yeah, I'm all right. Just a little clumsy today is all."

Anakin frowned and thought, she has no idea what's happening to her...

With that thought, Ganner's voice sounded in his head, her energy will waver and soon she'll stop being able to speak. It'll become harder for her to act human.

With his fork, Anakin pushed at the eggs on his plate for a moment longer. Excusing himself, he pushed back from the table and then stood up, silently walking away. He lowered his head, and frowned, worry over Sannah eating away at his peace of mind and his heart.

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Anakin stepped out of the building, glancing up towards the morning sun where it hung low in the east. The crisp, autumn air held a slight bite to it, not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to let him know that winter was coming. He closed his eyes and stood there in the sun for a moment, letting its bright yellow light warm his face.

The door behind him opened and then shut and he turned to find Sannah standing there, bundled in a heavy jacket. Her arms were crossed over her chest, as she shivered slightly.

He arched an eyebrow in her direction and she shrugged, saying, "It's cold today."

Without saying anything, Anakin began walking towards the school and Sannah fell into step beside him.

They got a few steps down the street when Sannah spoke again, "It's cold today."

Anakin didn't reply, just continued walking.

"It's really cold today."

He sighed. "You keep saying that."

"That's because it's really, really cold today," she shot back.

He barked a short, sharp laugh. "I think you just don't like the cold."

"Yeah," she began slowly. "I like being warm." She then looked up at the sky, watching the clouds as she walked beside him. "When the spring comes... it'd be great if it was always spring."

Anakin nodded his head. "So, you like the spring."

She hopped a few steps out in front of him and then spun so that she faced him, a big grin on her face. "Yeah. I love the spring. If it was always spring time then I'd always be full of energy."

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Anakin glanced towards Master Horn who was writing arcane symbols on the board; they had something to do with hyperspacial physics but he wasn't entirely certain what. Neither was he interested in paying attention. Sighing, he glanced over at Jaina, noticing that she was trying, and failing, to stay awake in class.

He turned away and looked out the window, staring at the clouds as they floated across the sky.

All those years ago, he thought to himself. We were taking Lyric home. Ganner's Lyric. And one of the Melody kids helped me and... For a moment, bouncing blond curls and green eyes which shone with laughter flashed through his mind, but the glimpse was gone as quickly as it had appeared. She helped us save Lyric and helped us fight in the catacombs. We had her tested and then brought her with us. Oh, Sith. What did we do. What did I do? I brought her here; took her away from her home planet, and then... then... I just went home.

Anakin's frown deepened and he looked away from the window to face the board where Master Horn wrote. He didn't want to think the thoughts that were running through his head. A light sweat beaded up on his brow, and he ground his teeth.

Why, he asked of himself. Why did I leave?

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Anakin stepped out of the temple grounds, watching his feet as he walked slowly towards the main gates. As he neared, he heard a sharp inhale, something that sounded like a mixture of a laugh and a sigh of relief. He looked up to find Sannah peeking around the edge of the column at the edge of the gate.

Once she noticed that he was looking at her, she came around the corner, a bright smile shining on her face.

She stopped in front of him, and he reached out, placing his hand against her cheek, smiling as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

"Hey," he said to her.

Her eyes snapped open, their yellow tint shining with happiness. "So, are you going to buy me a meatroll today?"

He arched an eyebrow at her. "So, you want food again, huh?"

A mischievous smile settled onto her lips as she replied, "Of course. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come all the way over here to get you."

A short while later, they were walking through the business district as Sannah happily ate her meatroll. She paused for a moment and then looked up at Anakin.

"So, if I ask for something, you'll buy it for me?"

Anakin laughed. "Yeah, why not."

She turned back to her meatroll and thought for a moment. Finally, she turned her attention back to him. "It's weird that you have so much money."

"That's because I don't waste my allowance the way you do."

Her eyes narrowed for a moment, and then she tossed her head around. They walked in silence for a few more steps.

"So," she began again. "I can ask for anything, right?"

He nodded his head. "Yes," he replied, even as he thought, Am I going to regret this?

She stopped and darted into a store. He followed behind her and she began rummaging through a pegboard filled with bracelets. Finding the one she wanted, she spun to face him, holding up her prize. Anakin looked closer, noticing the two silver bells attached to a thin piece of elastic. She raised it over her head, a bright grin on her face.

"This. This is what I want."

Nodding his head, Anakin went and bought it for her. He handed it to her, and she slipped it onto her wrist. They once more began walking through the district, her smile bright and happy as the bells tinkled with her every step.

They neared the holobooth, and she paused, watching the group of girls at it as they discussed the pictures they had just taken.

Anakin paused behind her, and looked over at what she was staring at. "If you want to join them," he said. "Why not go over and say something."

She spun towards him, an angry blush coloring her cheeks. "I wasn't thinking that!"

"You really are shy aren't you?" he asked. Then he looked up, thinking out loud. "Even around Jaina and Aunt Mara you don't really speak unless you're spoken to."

She turned away, her nose twisted up in thought. "Really?"

Anakin ignored her question, and continued thinking out loud. "Maybe we should all take a picture. After all, we're all living at the same place."

Sannah dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes. "I'm just a freeloader. You said so yourself."

Then she lifted her chin and began to walk away from him, the bells on her wrist tinkling.

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Anakin settled into his usual seat across from Sannah just as Jaina came into the dining area. She looked around and took a deep long inhale. She then turned towards her aunt, a smile crossing her lips in a flash.

"We're having thakitillo tonight!" She said, almost dancing with excitement.

Mara brought the final plate into the dining area from the kitchen, setting it down in front of Sannah. She looked at Jaina and nodded her head once in a quick affirmative. "That's right. And if memory serves, it'll be the first time that Sannah has had it."

Jaina sat down in the chair next to Sannah, the grin on her face growing larger as she smelled the steam coming from the plate in front of her. She glanced over at Sannah and said, "Aunt Mara's thakitillo is the best."

"Let's just eat," Mara replied with a smile.

Sannah dug her spoon into the green curds and Anakin watched happily as she shoved them into her mouth. As she did so, her eyes brightened, and a large smile appeared on her face. "This is good!"

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Anakin was in the refresher, arms crossed over his chest, and a stern expression on his face. Sannah stood in front of him, dressed in her pajamas. Her lips were twisted into a pout, and her brows were creased.

"You don't have to watch me," she said.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I know, but I'm going to anyways."

"I can brush my own teeth, you know."

He nodded his head. "I know. But lately you haven't been. Your toothbrush is always dry."

She sighed, hanging her head slightly. Then she picked up her toothbrush and the toothpaste. When she went to put the paste onto the brush, it slipped from her hand. Anakin reached out and grabbed it before it fell. After a moment, he handed it back to her.

"Hold onto it properly this time."

She sighed again. "I will."

She stuck the toothbrush into her mouth, and yanked it back out suddenly. "It's hot."

Anakin glanced at the label of the toothpaste. "It's cinnamon. What have you been brushing your teeth with? Just water?"

She shook her head slowly. "No," she began hesitantly. "It's... I just stopped being able to brush one day. I don't know why."

He took the brush from her, and nodded his head. "Well, you've gotta brush. So open your mouth."

She sighed again, and opened her mouth wide.

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Anakin lay in his bed, facing the wall. He wanted to sleep, but worry and thoughts about Sannah constantly rolled through his head, ensuring that sleep was far away from him. Then he heard the near silent whoosh of his bedroom door opening.

"Anakin?" It was Sannah's voice calling out. Soft and hesitant.

He ignored it and about a half minute passed.

"Anakin," she began again. "Ikrit says he wants to sleep in here again tonight. Is that okay?"

Another half minute passed. "I asked, so I'm coming in. Okay?"

Then he heard the soft shuffle of her feet, followed quickly by the sound of the door closing. He rolled over to face her, and she let out a small yelp sound as her eyes popped open wide and her mouth dropped open in shock.

Finally, she seemed to recover her senses and said, "You were awake?"

He lifted one eyebrow, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Are you sure it's not you that wants to sleep with me?"

She looked away from him and replied, "Don't say such gross things. Of course I don't want to sleep in the same bed as you."

He rolled back over facing the wall once more. "Do what you want."

"Hear that Ikrit? Isn't it great?"

Then she crawled into the bed with him, snuggling up against him.

He laid there, the metallic, watery scent that always surrounded her filling his nostrils even as her light snore reached his ears.

In the back of his head he could hear Ganner's words to him again; you've found yourself in the middle of a miracle. One, which by her very nature cannot last.

He sighed and sat up. Carefully, he got out of bed. Once he was standing again, he checked to make sure that she was still sleeping and then left the room. He stared out the window of the elevator as he rode down it. The doors slid open and a ping noise echoed through the small space. Mechanically, he stepped out and left the building to begin wandering aimlessly around the town.

Before he knew it, he found himself hiking up the path to the Temple of the Blueleaf Cluster. As he crested the ridge, he looked towards the darkened entryway into the temple itself.

Why am I here, he wondered. It's not like coming here will give me any answers. It won't help me understand anything.

He stared at the entrance and a strong wind whipped through his hair, tugging at his clothes. Then he heard the soft tinkling of bells from behind him. Slowly, he turned to find Sannah standing a dozen or so paces away from him, one hand holding a jacket closed against the wind. Fear and worry shone in her eyes.

"Were you following me?" he asked.

"You left without saying anything to me," she replied. "I was worried that you might leave me alone again." Surprise etched itself onto her face, her eyes widening as she realized what she had just said. "Leave me alone... again..."

She lowered her head slightly, the hand holding the jacket closed, pulling the cloth tighter. "I feel like this happened before. A long time ago. That I was left all alone, deserted..." Her body trembled slightly and Anakin saw a tear appear at the corner of one of her eyes. "I looked everywhere for you, and couldn't find you."

He watched as the tear slid down her face, running a shining path down her cheek.

She began speaking again. "I stopped looking here. At this spot. I... used to..."

As she spoke, he noticed the light in her eyes dimming. Suddenly scared, he started running towards her. "No!" he called out. "Don't try to remember." He stopped in front of her and wrapped her in his arms. "D... don't try to remember. You don't have to remember. You're just a human girl named Sannah. Right?"

The tension left her body as she leaned into his embrace, laying her head onto his shoulder. "Yeah... that's right."

He hugged her tighter. "You're cold, right? Let's go home."

"Okay," she replied as her arms wrapped around his back.

Hand in hand they returned to the apartment and went to Anakin's room. He climbed into his bed, and faced the wall. Then he felt the bed shift as she climbed in behind him.

Silence covered them for a while.

Then she broke it. "Hey?"

"Hmm?"

Her voice sounded small and weak. "I'm kind of scared..."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't really know," she began. "But when I'm sleeping alone, all of a sudden I end up in a real dark place. It's pitch black, and I can't see anything and I'm all alone."

"Don't worry," he replied. "I won't leave on my own anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I promise."

She let out a sigh of contentment and in the Force could feel her as she settled into a deep, comfortable sleep. He twisted around to look at her for a moment, and then he closed his eyes and allowed sleep to claim him.

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Anakin walked out of the building, reveling in the bright afternoon sunshine. Whistling an old Corellian tune, he walked towards the gate. As he crossed it, his smile faltered, and then fell away completely. He looked to the left and the right, as a frown crept to his lips.

Sannah? he thought to himself. She's not here today? He looked around the open field in front of the Temple's gate. Then leaned against the stone gatepost. I guess I'll just have to wait here for a bit to see if she shows up.

Anakin waited as the sun slowly sunk towards the horizon. As it neared dinner time, he sighed and stepped away from the wall, and then began heading home.

He opened the door, and Jaina looked up from the datapad she was reading, smiling towards him. "Welcome home."

"Hey," he replied. "Where's Sannah?"

Jaina shook her head. "She's not with you?"

Anakin frowned, and then turned around and ran towards the elevator. As he rode down to the ground floor he paced back and forth, and was running out into the lobby even before the doors fully opened. He ran towards the business district, checking the shops that Sannah liked best, his breath a heavy pant.

He hit the wall he stood next to, frustrated that he could not find her anywhere.

He looked around, and saw the top of the Temple in the distance. He began running that way, coming to the gate where she usually met him.

Then he continued running around the Temple, heading towards the Temple of the Blueleaf Cluster. He pushed past the brush and stepped into the clearing which housed the smaller temple, calling out, "Sannah!"

He darted into the Temple and went up the thin steps to the room with the blue crystal. He dropped to his knees when he still could not find her. Sannah? Is this good-bye? Would you just leave like this?

A short time later, he dragged himself into the apartment. Mara and Jaina sat on the couch, matching frowns on their faces. They looked towards him, hope sparking briefly in their eyes, until Anakin shook his head. He walked the rest of the way into the living room and dropped onto the smaller sofa facing the other two.

Mara leaned back in her seat for a moment, and then pulled out her comlink, and pressed a few buttons on its face.

A feminine voice issued from the small speakers. "This is the Crèche. el-Tha speaking."

"Master el-Tha, this is Master Mara Skywalker, was Sannah there today?"

"I'm sorry Master Skywalker, but Sannah hasn't been to work at the Crèche since she brought that furry thing. Ikrit I think she called it."

Mara's face darkened slightly. "I see," she said and then closed the connection.

Jaina finally spoke. "Maybe she just didn't feel at home here after all. Maybe if I-"

"It's not your fault," Anakin said, interrupting her. "Everything... All of this is my responsibility."

The front door opened and all three of them shot out of their seats. Anakin turned and saw Sannah standing there. Dirt was smudged across her face, and her clothes were ripped and stained with grass.

He started running towards her, as he did so; he called out, "Sannah!"

Her name ripped from his throat again; as he watched her eyes roll backwards, showing their white and she suddenly collapse. He touched the Force, speeding to her side, and caught her right before she hit the ground.

Mara arrived at his side a few seconds later and touched her forehead. "She has a fever." She then looked at Jaina who was standing over them. "Get a bed ready."

Jaina nodded her head and ran towards Sannah's room.

Sannah's eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at Anakin. "Ikrit... Ikrit disappeared. I've been looking for him this whole time, but I couldn't find him."

Anakin frowned and glanced towards Mara. "I understand," he said, looking back down at her. "Leave the rest to us. You just rest, okay?"

Her yellow eyes locked with his, and she made a smaller whimpering sound. Then her eyes closed and she was unconscious once again.

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Anakin sat in a chair beside her bed, watching her sleep. A light blanket was pulled to her chin, and a compress lay across her head. Occasionally a shiver would course through her slight form.

Suddenly, her eyelids fluttered. She lifted her arm, snaking it out of the covers, causing the small bells still tied to her wrist to tinkle. "Anakin?"

He took her hand in both of his. "I'm right here, Sannah."

A small smile came to her lips, as she softly said, "You're warm."

"And you like warm things, right Sannah?" he replied with a chuckle. "You just rest and get better soon. I'll read to you and we'll go buy something good to eat."

Her smile grew slightly larger, and then she rolled her head to the side, falling asleep once more.

The next morning, he sat near the door, stepping into the heavy Corellian-style boots that he has taken to wearing. He stands up, and takes a step towards the door only to feel a tug against the hem of his shirt. Frowning, he turned and looked down to find Sannah sitting on the floor, her large yellow eyes looking up at him.

"Why aren't you still sleeping?"

She made a small, whimpering sound, and he noticed the worry and fear in her eyes.

He sat on the floor beside her. "What's wrong?" he said. "If you're still not feeling good, go back to bed."

"No."

"And just why not?"

Her chin lowered, and she stopped looking at him. "You'll disappear this time."

Anakin felt the shock rock through him. "What are you saying? That doesn't sound like you at all."

She sighed, a simple motion of her shoulders lifting slightly and then settling lower, yet Anakin could feel the fear and sorrow emanating from her.

Sannah, he thought to himself. Then he sighed in reply, and said. "I'll skip training."

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Anakin stepped onto the bridge, his boots resounding heavily against its stone surface. He looked up from his feet, seeing the older Jedi standing at the apex of the bridge, watching the river rush beneath them.

Without speaking, Anakin crossed the distance to him, and leaned against the railing beside Ganner.

He stared into the dark water as well, watching the current as it twisted its way around a large rock jutting out of the center of the river.

After a few minutes, Ganner broke the silence between them. "How is she?"

Anakin shook his head, and replied, "She's sleeping right now. Thanks for asking."

"She had a fever didn't she?"

Anakin nodded his head. "Yeah. A high one, but it broke early this morning."

"She's trying to stay human."

"What?"

Ganner sighed, and hung his head slightly. "She's trying to stay human and her body is fighting her. That's what the fever was."

"What's going to happen?"

"If she doesn't accept the transformation? She'll die."

Anakin's chest constricted, he felt as if someone had just punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind from him. He leaned over the railing, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"Why isn't she accepting the Change?" he asked as he opened his eyes again.

"To stay with you," Ganner replied softly. "Her feelings for you are so strong, she wants to stay by your side, and she wants it so bad that she's denying her very nature to do so."

"And she's just going to let herself die this way?"

Ganner nodded.

He then lifted himself up off the railing, looking towards the older Jedi. "Why is she acting more child-like though?"

Ganner shook his head. "I... I'm not sure. Lyric didn't try this hard to put off the Changing, I can only guess that the process is trying to destroy her mental faculties in an effort to force the Change."

"Is there anything that can be done?"

Ganner shook his head again. "Just wait for her to change or for her to die. Those are your only options."

Anakin felt a tear slip from his eye. "If you know anything... you've got to tell me."

Ganner looked away, staring down at the river once again.

"Would you like to hear a child's story?"

Anakin frowned, and slowly nodded his head. "Anything."

"Thousands of years ago, a Sith Lord came to Yavin, bringing with him his Massassi slave-warriors. These Massassi were strong and fierce and destructive. Land fighters without par. Yet for all their ferocity, for all their fearsomeness they were terrified of the open water. They were from an arid world, and the thought of open water terrified them to the point where they were useless against worlds like Mon Calamari." Ganner paused for a moment, looking at Anakin to make sure that he was keeping up.

Then he began speaking again. "So the Sith Lord began working with the indigenous people of Yavin 8. They were a near-human race who called themselves the Melodie, and had at one time in their near past been human. Regardless, there's nothing in their fundamental genetic makeup which made them incompatible with humans. From these Melodies he crafted a race of beings that he could begin their training on land, and then when they reached a certain age would become the fighting force he needed for worlds with large populations beneath water."

Ganner stopped speaking, and once more began to watch the water as it rushed past beneath them. Anakin just stood there, digesting what Ganner had just told him.

Anakin started to leave, but Ganner spoke again, "You're going to hurt."

Frowning, Anakin turned back to Ganner. "I'll survive."

The older Jedi turned his haunted eyes onto Anakin and barked a short, sharp, bitter laugh, and then he held his hands out on either side of him. "So have I. Doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt though. It doesn't mean that every day I don't wish to see her again. To kiss her one more time."

Anakin watched Ganner for a moment longer, and then nodded his head once, sharply in acknowledgment. Then he turned to go once more. As he reached the spot where the bridge met the dirt of the path, he turned back towards Ganner.

"Hey, Ganner?"

"Yes?"

"Sometimes pain is a good thing. It reminds us of who we are, that we're still alive, and of all that we've lost. Hiding it away behind walls doesn't solve anything, but neither does wallowing in it. If I hurt once she's gone, it'll be because I loved her and she loved me. To let that be the defining moment of my life, well it seems to me that that would be disgracing her memory."

Then Anakin turned away, and began the long walk back to the apartment he shared with his sister and Sannah.

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Anakin finished telling Mara and Jaina the story about Sannah. He told them everything that he remembered. How he had visited Yavin 8, taking Lyric home. How he'd fought at Sannah's side to save the Melodies from the wild animals of that planet. How he just disappeared on her once he lost his memories, leaving her here alone and forgotten. He even told them the story of how the Sith had modified the Melodies, making them into what they were now.

Finally exhausted, he leaned against the bed and stroked Sannah's hair gently, watching her as she slept.

Jaina finally spoke. "That's... I'm not sure what to make of that."

Mara lowered her head. "I knew already."

Anakin's eyes widened as his head shot around from looking at Sannah to stare at his aunt. "What?"

She gave him a curl of a smile. "I knew exactly who Sannah was when she showed up. She had disappeared from the Temple not long after you left. When she reappeared, Luke and I decided to not tell her everything in the hopes that she would regain her memory on her own."

Anakin frowned. "I... what are you hiding from me then?"

Mara stood up, and looked down at him. After a moment, she replied, "Are you asking if I know what happened to make you lose your memories? Then no. All anyone knows is that you snuck out of the Temple, and when you were found the next day, you couldn't remember any of the previous five years."

Anakin looked up at his aunt for a moment longer, and then turned away from her, taking up his vigil over Sannah, ignoring both of the others.

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"Anakin?"

He looked up at Sannah's voice. Frowning at how soft it had become over the past three days since her fever had broken. She caught his eye, and smiled weakly.

"Read to me?"

"Of course," he replied.

Her smile grew larger, and she picked up one of the holonovels, holding it out towards him. "Read."

He glanced at the title, and arched an eyebrow towards her, saying, "This one again?"

She smiled at him, and nodded her head quickly.

He smiled back at her, "I'll read you whatever you want."

He turned on the device, the first words appearing on the screen, and then he began to read. "Love always comes suddenly."

Anakin could feel eyes on him, and he glanced up to find Sannah staring at him. He flashed her a lopsided grin and said, "Hey, if you don't look at the screen, you won't know what's going on."

Anakin smiled at her, as she turned to face the machine, and Anakin began reading once again.

The story was winding down.

"Understood. I'll definitely come back for you. At that time, let's become one. Let's get married. Until then... farewell." Anakin then turned off the device, and said, "The end."

Anakin smiled at the device and then said, "That was a good story."

Sannah rolled over, a wistful expression on her face. "I want... to get married."

His head snapped up, and he looked over at her. She was laying on her side, staring at him, and then after a moment she said again, "I want... to get married."

"When you get older," he replied, reaching for another holonovel.

"I want to marry Anakin."

Anakin knew that the shock he felt was clearly on his face. He slowly turned back towards Sannah.

"If I do," she continued. "Then we'll always be together."

He didn't know what to say, and she just slowly moved closer, nestling her face against his chest. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around her, gently kissing her on top of the head.

Almost silently he whispered, "Sannah..."

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