Memories - Ch. 18

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Anakin sat at his desk, staring out the window, watching as the sun crested the horizon in the burning glory of dawn. His eyes were rimmed with red, dark circles hung beneath then. Suddenly, his alarm went off, an annoying beeping noise. Sighing, he stood up and crossed over to the nightstand and pressed the off button. Taking a final look at the rising sun, and the landscape he had spent the entire night staring at, he left the room and went to the refresher to get cleaned up.

After getting dressed, he walked into the kitchen to find Tahiri and Mara working at the counter, rolling out dough. Mara looked up at him, and arched an eyebrow. "Good morning."

He lifted his eyes, and quickly nodded his head. "Good morning, Aunt Mara."

"Wow, Anakin," Tahiri cut in. "You're looking bad this morning."

He straightened his posture, and grinned. "I'm Corellian. I'm perfect."

"You don't look that perfect to me this morning," Tahiri shot back.

Mara snickered. "Go sit down, Mr. Corellia. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes."

Anakin smiled at his aunt, but as soon as he turned away to take his seat at the table, the smile fell off his face.

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Anakin slowly walked towards the Academy, automatically following the streams of students that were doing the same thing. His thoughts had taken a dark turn once again, as he was focused on Nelani and Kiori.

Suddenly, someone slammed hard into his back. He stumbled forward and let out a short yelp of surprise. Spinning around, he was about to snarl something at whoever had ran into him, but the words died in his mouth as he found himself staring at Nelani's smiling face. His heart hammered.

She tilted her head slightly. "I'm sorry. But I was just so happy to see you that I felt that I absolutely had to run into you. You understand, right?"

"Yeah, good morning," he said, grinning, as he bumped his shoulder against hers.

He started walking towards the academy and she fell into step beside him. Looking down at her, he asked, "Did you make a lunch again today?"

She quickly nodded her head. "Yes, and I have the utmost confidence in it."

"Good," he replied, chuckling. They then stepped from the bright sunlight of the outside, into the cool dimness of the Academy itself. "Let's eat it together."

"Sure," she said, beaming happily at him. "At lunch, I'll come to your class..." Her chin dropped to her chest for a moment, pain flaring in her eyes before it was once again hidden behind her smile. "On second thought, let's meet in the cafeteria."

"Yeah," he replied, nodding his head.

Then she was running off to her lessons. Anakin watched until she had disappeared, and then went to his classroom and looked in. When he didn't see Kiori, he turned and started searching the various places he knew she liked to hide. Finally, he found her, standing on the observation level on the exterior of the Academy. Her arms were folded across her chest as she watched a flock of birds in the distance.

He stopped a few paces from her. "I was looking for you."

She responded, but did not turn to face him. "When I'm doing this... When I'm standing here like this, I can almost believe that time has stopped. But it's a lie. Time will never stop."

"You don't look so well. You should get some more sleep."

"Winter is coming. Did you know that? Soon, all these gardens will always be empty and barren." She pointed towards one of the gardens, and Anakin looked at it, recognizing it as the one that he used to meet Nelani in. "That garden is always empty in winter. No one goes there. But during the spring, after the rains have come and gone, then people will wander in, filling it, smelling the flowers."

Anakin nodded his head. "So you knew that she was out there, waiting for you, every day."

Kiori lowered her head, and spun around, walking past Anakin without looking at him. Then she started down the steps. Silently, he watched as she disappeared from view.

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Anakin was sitting at the same table they had used the day before, Nelani once more on the far side of the table from him. Also the same as the day before, a massive amount of food was in front of him. He grinned at her. "I want to throw you a birthday party."

She looked up from her lunch, and worried sy her lower lip slightly. "Birthday party?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I won't push, if you don't really want one, but I think it'll be fun."

"Not at all!" she responded, shaking her head. "I'm happy about it." She paused, and scratched at her nose for a moment. "But who else would you get to attend?"

"Well, there's Tahiri, and then I was going to ask 2 or 3 of my friends. It'll be a small party, but you know how it is."

Nelani nodded, a finger finding its way to her mouth where she began to chew at a knuckle. "I see..." Then she looked up at him, smiling. "Well, I'll be looking forward to it then."

After he had finished eating, they walked the corridors aimlessly, chatting about nothing in particular. His stomach complained at eating so much, and seeing a bench, he dropped down onto it. Then he stretched out, lying across the bench. Nelani slipped in beneath his head, allowing it to rest on her lap.

"My stomach's stuffed," he muttered.

"I'm sorry. I know I packed too much..."

He shook his head slightly. "It's fine. I just couldn't see wasting any of it since it was all so good."

He closed his eyes for a moment, and inhaled deeply, smelling the light scent that she wore. Then he opened his eyes, and looked up at her, to find her staring down at him. "Nelani? Let's skip out on the rest of training today."

Her eyes opened wider and her mouth parted slightly.

"Anywhere's fine. We'll go where you want to. While you still can."

Her eyes softened, their look of surprise fading slightly. "What's this all of a sudden?"

"Ah, well..."

"You talk like we won't get to see each other anymore, soon." She grinned mischievously. "You're such a bad boy, trying to talk a younger student into skipping out of school with you."

"I tried to draw you to the dark side," he responded dryly. "But I guess I failed."

She patted his head and he rolled off of her and the bench, as she stood up. "Well, I'll be going back to my lessons now."

Anakin nodded his head. "Yeah, I'll see you after school then."

She smiled brightly for him, and then darted off down the hall. He watched her disappear, and then dropped back to the bench, covering his face with his hands.

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They stood just outside the shopping district, next to one of the many rivers which ran throughout the area. Its babble served as a soothing counterpoint to the subtle murmur that came from the shopping district. Nelani lifted her arm and pointed towards the horizon. Anakin's eyes traced where she was pointing, to find himself staring at the setting sun. The oranges and reds of it gave the illusion that the whole expanse of the heavens were on fire. Her voice was soft with awe, "It's beautiful."

"Sunsets aren't that rare of a thing," he said, grinning slightly.

"Still," she responded, turning a frown his direction. "There's such a thing as 'mood.'"

He rubbed at his hair for a moment. "The things girls say make no sense."

She turned away from him, focusing once more on the sunset. "It's so dazzling."

Silently, he watched as she closed her eyes and basked in the warm sunlight. His eyes prickled and he had to look away from her. Had to look at anything besides her.

Later that night, he was sitting on the floor in front of his bed. Tahiri and Jaina were in his room, sitting on his bed watching him.

"So," he began. "I'm throwing Nelani a birthday party tomorrow."

Tahiri bounced up straighter, a grin coming to her face. "Really? Tomorrow's her birthday?"

"Well, no... her birthday is the day after tomorrow. But tomorrow worked better for her… schedule. So we're having it tomorrow."

Jaina frowned as she tugged at a strand of her brown here. "So, uhm... who is this Nelani girl? Is she in training?"

Anakin gave a quick nod of his head. "Yeah. She's been sick a lot so she has missed most of the training while she was on planet. Which means that she doesn't have a whole lot of friends. That's why I thought we could celebrate with her."

Tahiri clapped her hands together. "I'd be glad to." She then turned towards Jaina. "What do you say, Jaina? You know it'll be fun."

The older girl shook her head slightly, her frown flickering to a smile. "Well, I have practice after classes, but if I can make it, I'll be there. Worst-case is that I have to leave half-way through, after all the tournament is coming up soon."

Anakin grinned at his sister. "That'd be enough. Thanks!"

The next morning, Anakin once more was hunting Kiori. He first looked at the top of the Academy, and then searched a few dozen classrooms. He finally found her in the hidden corridor that led to the sulfur springs deep beneath the Temple. She leaned against the wall a few steps below him, her long hair hiding her face, as she kept her chin pressed tightly against her chest.

"There you are," Anakin said to her, not really expecting a response. "Today's the last day that Nelani will be able to come to school. After her birthday tomorrow, she'll either be in bed at home or at the hospital. She won't be able to go outside."

Kiori started up the steps, brushing past him. As she did so, she said, "I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm throwing her a birthday party," he said. "I want you to come as well."

She stopped. But for a slight tremble to her shoulders she was perfectly still.

Anakin watched her for a moment. "It'll be today after school. At Poltz."

"I won't be there," she replied.

"Nelani is living her life to the fullest. Right now. How much time she has left is not the issue. Do you mean to tell me that you won't acknowledge her as your little sister, even now. At the very end?" He paused for a moment, noticing that her shoulders had begun to shake harder. "Do you know why she came to the Temple every day? Why she stood out there in that garden every day? She wanted to have lunch with you."

Kiori's head lifted up, and Anakin took a few steps closer to her. Part of him felt bad for the things he was saying to Kiori. He knew that it was hurting her. But he knew that this distance between the two sisters was hurting them worse.

He continued speaking. "I heard that you two had made a promise once. That you two would eat lunch here once you were both training to be Jedi. She was looking forward to that. She was looking forward to going to school with her sister, having lunch with her sister and even walking home afterwards with her sister. She dreamed of those mundane events. Those everyday things."

He watched as a shiver raced down her body. Then she began walking again. He took a step closer towards her, and called out, "We'll be waiting, so make sure you come."

Then she was running. She disappeared around a corner, the echoes of her footfalls reaching his ears for a few moments before they to were gone. Anakin snarled, his fist striking out at a wall. Frustration and pain hammered at him, and he took in a deep breath, holding it for a five count before slowly exhaling. Finally, his emotions calmed once again, he returned to his classroom, noticing that Kiori refused to meet his eyes.

Sighing, he took his seat and attempted to pay attention to Master Horn's lecture.

After class, he walked out of the main entrance of the Temple. Standing by the gate, her customary shawl wrapped around her shoulders was Nelani. He noticed that she had changed from the orange jumpsuit to her usual clothes. When she saw him she lifted an arm and waved--her smile lighting up her face and warming his heart.

"Anakin!" she called out.

He looked her up and down. "So, you changed, I see."

"Yes," she replied, blushing furiously. "Since class got over early, I figured that I had time."

He chuckled. "Well, I think that it's a good thing you decided to change. After all, I don't think orange is really your color."

She pouted, and turned her head away slightly. "I don't like people who say things like that."

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Anakin looked up at the sign. In bold, aurebesh it read: Poltz. He grinned. This was his favorite restaurant on Yavin, and the location for Nelani's birthday party. She stood beside him, staring up at the frontage as well. He felt her gentle pull as she reached out and tugged on his jacket. Smiling, he looked down at her.

"I'm a little nervous," she said, wringing her hands.

"Don't worry," Anakin replied as he placed one of his hands over hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "They're all good people."

He released her hands and then stepped forward. He opened the door, holding it for Nelani. She hesitated for a moment, and then went in. He stepped into the building as well, allowing the door to swing shut behind him.

"Anakin!" someone called out.

He looked into the dining area and saw his friends sitting at a table, Raynar waving at him. "Anakin, over here."

"Hi, Nelani!" Tahiri chimed in.

Anakin grabbed Nelani's hand and dragged her to the table, introducing her to Jaina, Rayner and the young Twi'lek girl that was in Nelani's session. They then sat down, Nelani taking the seat at the head of the table, Anakin in the chair to her left. Anakin took a moment to look around the cafe, noticing that as usual it was filled with trainees from the Jedi Academy.

The server brought out a large ice-cream cake, with fifteen candles flickering slightly.

"Happy Birthday," the group called out to her, as Tahiri threw handfuls of confetti into the air.

"Um," Nelani began, happily smiling. "Thank you... thank you very much."

He grinned at her, and nodded his head. "Well, blow out the candles."

"Yeah," she replied and then took a deep breath and blew out the candles.

Soon, the cake was served out, and they were all eating.

"So," Raynar said to Anakin. "Nelani was the girl that came and got you the other day. I knew I had seen that face from somewhere before." He then focused on Nelani. "You're the one that used to stand out in the garden all the time."

Anakin chuckled and then nodded his head. "Oh yeah, that's right. Raynar was the person who pointed her out to me. That was either my first or second day back."

Raynar flicked his spoon out of his bowl, and pointed it at Anakin. "That's right! And you laid your hands on her without my permission!"

Jaina snickered, as Anakin smirked at Raynar. "Don't say such misleading things."

"Seriously, let's think about this," Raynar said as he waved his spoon at Anakin again. "There's Nelani, Jaina and... Tahiri," As he spoke he moved his spoon from person to person. "And there's even this young lady who's in Nelani's class." Then he turned back towards Anakin, leaning into him slightly. "And you're also close with Tenel Ka and Eyrl from the level above ours."

Raynar jumped out of his seat and pulled Anakin from his, quickly getting him in a head lock. "You.... you're as bad as that General Calrissian fellow! You... you Corellian!"

"Raynar," Jaina sighed. "It's not that way from Anakin's viewpoint." Then in a lower voice she said, "Besides, not all Corellians are like that."

Tahiri chimed in between bites of ice cream. "You're not making much sense to me."

Anakin struggled against Raynar's arm, trying to disentangle it from his neck. He snarled, "I'm going to knock you out!"

Jaina sighed again, and then picked up a jar filled with a red substance, and passed it to Nelani. Nelani turned it over in her hands, looking at it and Anakin heard Jaina say, "This is from our Aunt Mara and me. It's homemade strawberry jam."

"I love strawberry jam," Nelani replied as she beamed happily at the jar.

Raynar finally let Anakin go and he dropped back into his seat, rubbing at his neck. He tossed a glare in Raynar's direction.

Movement drew his attention and he watched as Tahiri lifted up a plain, brown paper bag high into the air. "And this is from me," she said, and then blushed slightly. "Sorry, I didn't have time to pick out presents."

Anakin arched an eyebrow, and smirked at the blonde girl. "So you bought her canapés?"

"This is from me," the Twi'lek girl said, interrupting any comeback Tahiri might have made. She then lifted a basket of cupcakes.

Once the presents had been gathered in front of Nelani, Jaina looked them over, and said, "Wow, they're all sweets."

"But I love sweets," Nelani replied a pout coming to her lips.

Anakin laughed. "And she's not saying that to be polite. Her food of choice is ice cream."

The group laughed, as Nelani blushed slightly. Anakin grinned at her and winked, causing her blush to deepen even more. Turning from her, he glanced up at the chrono hanging on the wall, seeing that it was almost time for them to end the party.

Raynar leaned closer towards Nelani. "If ice cream is your food of choice, then you've got a serious maladjusted diet. Let me take you out and get some real food sometime."

Then Jaina sat up straighter in her chair, looking towards the door. "Kiori?"

Anakin's and Nelani's head snapped that way. Kiori stood in the doorway, one hand picking at her lip, the other supporting her as she leaned against the door jamb. She stared at the floor, looking as if she was still deciding to run away or not.

"So, Kiori was invited too?" Jaina asked Anakin.

"Hey Kiori!" Raynar called out.

Anakin turned to look at Nelani, seeing the sadness that flickered across her face as she watched her older sister.

When Kiori did not move from her spot at the door, Jaina called out again, "Kiori?"

As Anakin watched, Nelani turned away from Kiori and faced forward, staring intently at the empty bowl that had contained her ice cream.

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Kiori sat across the table from Anakin. She stared straight ahead, not turning to look at her sister. He flicked his eyes to look at Nelani, and noticed her still staring at her empty bowl, as she chewed on her lower lip.

"Anakin," Jaina said, confusion giving her voice an odd lilt. "You invited Kiori as well?"

"Kiori!" Raynar exclaimed, cutting off anything Anakin might have said to Jaina. "Let me introduce you. This is our guest of honor, Nelani. Uhm, oh yeah, what's your last name again?"

Anakin frowned at Raynar for a moment, and then pushed back his chair and stood up. "Now that we're all here, let's get this party started!"

Silence greeted him, and he looked around, noticing the tenseness between all the girls.

He dropped back into his seat, and frowned down at his own empty plate.

Without speaking, Nelani stood up and picked up Kiori's plate, dishing her out a helping of the ice cream cake.

"Oh," Tahiri said, frowning slightly. "I could have done that."

Nelani shook her head. "It's all right. I don't mind." She then set the serving in front of Kiori. "There. Please eat it if you like."

She settled back into her seat, lowering her head to look once more at her plate.

"Thank you," Kiori replied, without moving her gaze.

"The parfaits here are really great, too," Jaina told her friend.

Her voice was almost dead sounding. "I'll have one later."

Anakin watched as Jaina and Tahiri exchanged confused glances. He sighed, wondering if this was as good of an idea as it had originally seemed. He looked between the two sisters, and noticed that they both seemed even more depressed than they had before. In fact, it was the saddest he could remember ever seeing Nelani.

Raynar leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Hey, what's with this awkwardness?"

Anakin leaned closer to him. "I'll explain later. Just please... make this place lively."

"Looks like there's a story behind this," Raynar said with a grin. He then gave a curt nod of his head. "You got it."

He reached down and grabbed a bag out from beneath his feet, and then stood up and darted to the rest room. He returned a few minutes later, dressed in the same sequined, white jumpsuit that Anakin remembered him wearing at the Dance Festival.

He jumped up onto his chair, and stuck one hand onto his hip and pointed the other straight into the air. "All right! This is a party, and with it, comes a dance!"

Raynar began to shake his hips from side to side. "I plan on making my triumphant return to the dance scene from the fiasco that was the Dance Festival."

Anakin looked around, and noticed that Tahiri had a hand covering her mouth while Jaina looked mortified. Nelani and Kiori both had matching looks of shock on their faces, eyes opened wide, mouths hanging slightly.

After a moment, Jaina said, "Raynar, you're seriously going to dance here?"

He pointed at her. "You know it."

The waitress stepped up, and tapped him on the shoulder. "Sorry, sir. But I don't think you should be dancing here. That'd probably disturb the other customers, so..."

Suddenly, one of their classmates yelled out, "No, it's fine. Let him dance, so long as he makes it interesting."

Another student in their class, this time a young Arconian, yelled out, "Yeah, dance for us Raynar!"

Then to the waitress's dismay, all the students began to cheer.

Raynar waved at them, and said, "Thank you!" He then turned back to their table, and held his hand out towards Kiori. "So Kiori, if I may have your hand?"

She recoiled from him, her eyes opening even wider. "I... I'm fine..."

Anakin chuckled and looked at Nelani. "Why don't you dance, Nelani?"

Horror flickered onto her face, and she began waving her hands and shaking her head. "No! I, I'm fine, too. Really."

He sighed, and then stood up and looked at Raynar. "Well then, I guess that I must be your partner."

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious," he shot back. "What, I'm not good enough for you?"

He poked Anakin in the chest. "Of course you're not good enough. You're not Kiori."

Anakin grinned and grabbed Raynar's hand. "Now, now. Don't be so modest about it."

He then flung him around, in one of the Corellian two-steps that he had learned the year before.

"Oh, fine," Raynar muttered, and Anakin dropped his hand.

Then they began to try to outdo one another in the most outrageous ways they could move their bodies.

The crowd around them were laughing, and Anakin winked at Tahiri as he saw her wiping away a tear from her eyes.

Finally, he started squishing his face with his hands, as he noticed Nelani trying her best to not laugh.

He glanced over at Raynar, and noticed him on the ground flopping around like a landed fish.

A quick glance at the two sisters revealed them almost laughing. Then they looked at one another, and their faces fell once more.

As the two boys continued to make fools of themselves to the laughter of their friends, Anakin watched, as Nelani for the first time, began to stare at her sister. Quietly watching her, as she slowly took her first bite of the cake.

A few moments later, she dropped her gaze again, once more watching her empty bowl.

An hour later, the group stood outside of Poltz. Anakin stood in the center of the group, to his right stood Nelani and on his left was Raynar, Tahiri, Jaina and then Nelani's classmate. Standing a few paces away, watching the distant sky stood Kiori.

"Well, that was embarrassing," Jaina said.

Anakin laughed. "Oh? But you were laughing hard."

"Are you all right, Nelani?" Tahiri asked. "You look tired."

"No," she replied. "I'm fine. I had a lot of fun. I enjoyed spending time with everyone."

Nelani looked over at her sister, and then dropped her gaze slightly.

"Nelani," Jaina said, leaning forward, grinning. "Let's have lunch together next time."

Nelani's hand shot to her mouth, as she straightened. "Can I?"

"Me too," interjected the young Twi'lek.

Then Tahiri chimed in, "Me too!"

Anakin frowned at her. "You can't. You don't train at the academy."

She pouted up at him, and he suppressed a chuckle.

"I'm in too," Raynar said. "It's pointless to let Anakin have all the fun."

Anakin sighed. "I told you to not say things like that. Someone could easily misunderstand you."

"Why?" Raynar asked. "Don't you want to make a cute girl like her your girlfriend?"

Kiori sighed, lowering her head slightly, shifting it so she looked at him. "You really don't have an eye for girls, do you, Raynar?"

Anakin and Nelani both sat up straighter, startled. He focused on Kiori. He watched her for a minute, and then began to grin. "Mind your own business, Kiori."

She looked at Anakin, her eyes narrowing slightly. "It is my business. Because Nelani is... Nelani is..." She lowered her head and closed her eyes. Anakin noticed that everyone in the group was staring at her, and he could not help but smile. After a heartbeat, she lifted her head again, and opened her eyes, and smiling, said, "Nelani is my little sister."

Nelani inhaled sharply, as the rest of the group shouted out, "Little sister?"

Kiori smiled at Nelani, tilting her head slightly. "Isn't that right, Nelani?"

Nelani opened her mouth. Then closed it. She inhaled deeply, and then slowly exhaled.

Raynar spoke up before Nelani could reply. "Then why didn't you tell us sooner? Could it be-"

Anakin smacked him on the back of his head. "Zip it."

He looked down at Nelani, seeing the brilliant smile on her face.

Kiori smiled in return, and then held her arms out towards the rest of the group, herding them away from Anakin and Nelani. "Come on," she said. "Let's be off."

After she had taken a half dozen steps, she spun around to look at them again. "Nelani, uhm... Let's chat a lot later."

Nelani nodded her head. "I'd like that."

Then Kiori turned on Anakin. "Anakin, take care of my little sister."

She then turned, and jogged to catch up to the rest of the group.

Anakin looked down at Nelani who was watching her sister. After a moment, she lowered her head. "Thank you so much, Anakin," she said. "You made me so happy."

He grinned at her. "Happy Birthday, Nelani." He watched her for a few more minutes, and then shifted his gaze up towards the setting sun. "Where should we go now?"

She shifted to look up at him, her head cocked to one side, an eyebrow lifted in question.

"You still have time, right?" he asked. "I'll tag along where ever you want to go."

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Anakin watched as Nelani once more played the Whack-a-'Wok game. The rubberized mallet coming down a split second after each holographic Ewok disappeared. Finally, she was fast enough and slammed the mallet down onto one of them. The score counter flickered up a digit. Then the game was over.

She spun around towards him, grinning broadly.

He bought her an ice cream to celebrate.

An hour later, night had fallen, and they still walked through the shopping district, watching as the shops and vendors closed down for the night. He looked over at her, and saw the happy smile she still had on her face.

"You don't have to go home yet?" he asked.

"That's right," she replied. "I told my parents that I would be home late tonight."

A brisk wind sliced through the street, and he looked towards the horizon, and saw storm clouds obscuring the stars in the distance. Then he noticed that Nelani had stopped. Frowning, he turned towards her, and saw that her head was lowered, a frown flickering on and off of her face.

"Uhm... Anakin? Do... do you think we could hold hands?"

He felt the surprise slash through him, and watched as she blushed brightly, and tucked her chin even tighter against her chest.

Then he stretched out his hand, reaching for hers.

Her eyes lifted, slowly followed by her chin, and he smiled at her. She smiled back, and then blushed once again.

Hesitatingly, she reached out and slipped her hand into his. Electric fire raced up his arm as the soft tips of her fingers slid across his calloused palms.

Then their hands were clasped together. He smiled at her, and she walked forward, and they once more took up their stroll. This time, hand in hand.

Before long, they were at the park. Their park. As usual it was abandoned, this time, even the street vendors were gone. Nelani sat on the edge of the fountain, keeping Anakin's hand clasped in hers. He settled down beside her.

Silence stretched between them for a time.

Finally, he said, "I'm a little tired."

"Yes," she replied, giggling slightly. "Especially since I dragged you around to so many places. But I have gotten better at the Whack-a-Wok."

He laughed. "Yeah, you've got a knack for it."

They fell into silence again. Anakin watched her from the corner of his eye, watched as she struggled to find the courage to say something. So he simply waited, quietly holding her hand.

"I don't know how to thank you," she said softly.

"I haven't done much."

"You're a strong person," she replied. "Stronger than me."

"No, you're the strong one."

"No I'm not," she said, as she lifted the hand that he held onto, releasing her hold on his fingers, as she pulled the sleeve down, revealing her inner wrist, and the thin white scars on them. "I... I slit my wrist once before."

Anakin inhaled sharply, and looked at her, his mouth hanging open slightly.

She continued her story. "It was the night I met you. I did it with a utility cutter. It was the opening day of the third semester. I saw my sister leave her room, and then I did the same. I carried only this shawl, which until then I had rarely used." She lifted one corner of the shawl, looking down at it. "Kiori gave me this shawl, exactly one year ago today. I begged her for a present, and so she gave it to me a day early." She lowered the shawl, and reached over to clasp his hand again. "I bought the utility cutter at the store, and then bought a number of other things as well. Even though I didn't need them. I took the long way home, wanting to admire the scenery here one last time, and that was when I met you and Tahiri.

"I remember that night. In my room, the lights turned off... I was all alone. I couldn't hear or see anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't think of anything. It felt like I was cut off from the entire world. Trapped in my room, merely waiting to die.

"It felt like I had wandered into the wrong place. The wrong world... The wrong life. As I made that first cut, I thought I heard some laughter. It belonged to the two people I had met that afternoon.

"I remembered the way they laughed. Their joyful faces. I was miserable and crying, the blood dripping from the wound on my wrist. Then... Then I was laughing. Then the tears, the tears that wouldn't come even when my sister told me I wouldn't see my next birthday started leaking out. They were tears that came out from laughter, but I couldn't stop them.

"Then I realized that I was crying because I was sad. After... after I had laughed and then cried, I couldn't cut myself anymore." She chuckled lightly, and looked up at him. "Maybe that was the miracle."

Anakin shook his head. "No... that's your strength."

"I'm weak," she replied. "I'm a weak person who can't live without someone else supporting her."

"That's fine," Anakin said, conviction making his voice firm. "Everyone needs support from others. I do. My uncle does. Besides, it's called a miracle because there's a chance that it might come true."

"Maybe you're right."

He squeezed her hand. "Can you make a promise with me?"

"A promise?"

"If a miracle does happen, then you'll treat me to a cafeteria lunch."

"Okay," she replied, her voice hitching slightly from unshed tears. "It's a promise."

The wind whistled through the trees.

"Anakin? I had fun today."

"I had fun as well."

"I'd like to go to that cafe again. Just one more time."

"Yeah."

"And I'd like to walk through the shopping district with you."

"Yeah."

"Today," she said. "I made a new friend at school. She said let's go out and have fun next time."

"That's great," he replied.

"There's still so many places I want to go. Things I want to see and do," she said as she looked up at him. "I don't think I want to die." Then she dropped her head, too once more look towards the ground. "I don't think I should have grown so close to so many people."

"You don't think so?"

"No," she replied. "Because I'll make those people suffer the same way that my sister has."

Anakin lifted his head, and turned to face her. He tightened his grip slightly on her hand. "Nelani, I'm glad that I got to know you."

Her head snapped around to face him, her eyes wide. "Really?"

"Of course," he said with a smile. "I'm not lying about it."

She straightened up slightly, a smile coming to her face. Then she seemed to deflate again. She tilted her head to the side, and smiled weakly. "Was I able to keep smiling?"

Startled, he opened his mouth, but did not know how to respond.

"Was I able to keep my smile on the whole time?"

"Y-yeah," he finally replied. "You were fine."

"I'm glad," she responded. Then she looked over at the clock that stood in one corner. It read just a few minutes until midnight. "It's almost time."

Anakin looked that way, and then nodded his head. "Yes, it is."

"When midnight comes, I'll finally be sixteen years old."

"Yeah."

Finally, the minute hand clicked over, and the clock displayed midnight. He watched a smile appear on her face. Wistful. Melancholic.

Then he reached into his bag and pulled out a package, holding it out towards her.

"Happy Birthday, Nelani."

Grinning, she took the package from him, and then looked up at him. "Can I open it?'

"Of course."

Carefully, she unwrapped it, revealing a new sketchbook and a package of styluses. A smile brightened her face, as she looked up at him.

"Go ahead and fill those pages," he told her.

"Yes," she replied. "I will." Then she hugged the book close to her chest. "Thank you, so much. I'll treasure it."

"Anakin?" she began, lifting her head towards him.

Without thinking, he moved his head towards her, and suddenly her lips were pressed against his. Time seemed to stop.

All too soon, she was standing up, the sketchbook clutched to her chest, a flush burning her face. "I... I'll go buy something warm to drink. Will you wait here for me?"

Before he could respond, she dashed towards the corner of the park which contained vending machines. Gingerly, he touched his lips with his fingers and realized that he could still taste her.

He lifted his head to watch the clouds in the sky, and got lost in his thoughts. Then he looked over at the clock tower, and realized that she had been gone for ten minutes already.

She's sure taking her time, he thought. Then he looked down at where she had been sitting and realized that she had taken the basket of sweets that she had gotten at her party. Startled, he stood up, and took off running in the same direction she had. He entered the vending area, and looked around, but the only thing he saw was a still steaming cup of caf holding down a sheet of flimsie from the sketch book he had just given her.

Slowly, he walked forward until he stood before the flimsie, and then he read the words written there: Thank you, so very much. Goodbye.

He clenched his teeth as he read the last word once more, fighting back the tears.

"Happy birthday, Nelani."

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