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Anakin sat in the rear seat of the Jedi ground car; Jaina beside him, staring out the window watching the pedestrians as they traveled along. They followed the defined path from the Temple to the medical center, moving at an almost sedate pace through the shopping district. Their pace slowed even further as they neared a large crowd. Anakin shifted his attention so that he was looking out Jaina's window.
He saw the twisted, smoking wreckage of the transport, and he blinked his eyes a few times, not quite certain if he believed what he was seeing. That's what hurt Aunt Mara.
Jaina gasped, and slammed her hands against the window. He leaned forward slightly, to see exactly what had caught her attention.
Frowning, he saw it on the ground; the crumpled remains of a strawberry cake.
Jaina dropped her hands from the window, and seemed to shrink in on herself. Her shoulders began to shake, and tears slashed down her face.
Jaina, he thought as he worried about her; wondered how he could help her.
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Side-by-side, they stood at the observation window, looking into the small medward where Mara lay on the cot unconscious. Bandages were wrapped around the top of her head, a bright bruise marred her right cheek and eye, and through the oxygen mask strapped to her face, he could make out a thin cut at the edge of her mouth.
After they had stood there silently watching her for a few moments, the Jedi Healer Cilghal stepped up. "We'll do what we can," she began telling us. "But if she remains in this state... I won't lie to either of you, as long as she remains this way, her life remains in jeopardy."
He felt Jaina's emotions twinge. Her pain was a gaping wound in the Force and turned to look at her, seeing the hurt, fear, and tears in her eyes.
Cilghal retreated, and in silence they stood watching Mara's unconscious form. Shortly, he took Jaina by the elbow and led her down the hall to one of the small, comfortable waiting rooms. Making sure she was comfortable, he walked down the hall to the holonet, and quickly placed a call to his parents, making sure that they knew Aunt Mara had been injured.
After getting off the holonet, he rubbed his face, and then returned to the waiting room.
Kam stood there, watching Jaina, a frown on his face. As Anakin entered the room, he turned to face him.
Anakin bowed, and said, "I commed our parents. They said they would be here as soon as they could get here."
Kam nodded his head. "Is there anyone else we should try to contact?"
He shook his head. "Jaina?"
Anakin frowned as he watched the back of Jaina's head. She didn't respond, didn't move, just continued to stare down towards her hands. He sighed, and turned to find Kam watching her again. "Jaina... be strong, all right. The Force will work its will. If you need anything, you can contact either me or Tionne." When Jaina still didn't move, Kam turned and started to leave. He paused by Anakin. "Contact me if anything changes."
Anakin nodded his head. "Will do, Master."
Then he was gone, leaving Anakin and Jaina alone. He turned away from the closed door, and watched Jaina where she sat on a couch, her head bowed, as she watched the floor.
"Jaina?"
No response.
"Don't worry, Jaya. I'm sure she'll be fine."
Later that night, the door to the waiting room opened, and a nurse stepped into the room. Anakin bolted out of his seat. "Did something happen?"
The nurse blushed slightly, and then shook her head, holding out a couple of blankets. "No. There's been no change. I just thought you two would like to have some blankets."
Sighing, Anakin walked to the nurse and took the blankets. He returned to the couches, and unfurled one of them to wrap around Jaina's shoulders.
Jaina still did not move or respond. She just watched the floor.
Anakin sighed again, and returned to his place.
The next morning, the doctor stepped into the room, a frown on his face. He was an elderly human, at least 50 standard years old, with iron grey hair and dark eyes. As he walked around to the chairs and couches, Jaina reacted for the first time in hours. She lifted her head to watch the doctor.
The doctor dropped onto one of the chairs, and allowed his eyes to flicker between them. "There still hasn't been a change in Master Skywalker's condition. Likewise, we think that her condition will remain unchanged for the foreseeable future. We'll contact you the moment something changes, so why don't you two go home and get some rest?"
Anakin nodded his head. "Thank you, Doctor."
The older man stood up, and started from the room. He paused as he passed Jaina. "Just make sure to keep your comlinks on you and on at all times."
Anakin nodded again. "All right."
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They got to the apartment, and Anakin opened the door. Jaina walked in, her movements stiff and unnatural. Without looking around, she walked into the kitchen and sat at her place at the dining room table.
Anakin closed the door, and followed her. He settled into the chair beside her. Silence hung heavy around them; a weight pressing down on his shoulders.
Interrupted by a bright cheerful, "Ikrit!"
He looked down, and saw the white creature sitting a few paces from him, its head cocked to the side, intelligent blue eyes boring holes into him.
Anakin grinned at the creature. "Ah, we left you all alone didn't we? You must be starved." He stood up, and placed a hand on Jaina's shoulder. "And we should eat something also."
She continued to look at the top of the table, ignoring him.
He sighed, and went to the kitchen. First he laid out something for Ikrit to eat, and then he went and made his and Jaina's breakfast.
A short while later, he placed the food in front of her. "Here you go Jaina. Hope you like it, but it's the only breakfast food I know how to fix. And you need to eat, aft-"
"It's my fault," she interrupted him, speaking for the first time since the trip to the hospital the day before.
Startled, he almost dropped his plate of food. Carefully, he set the plate down, and then looked at Jaina.
"It's... it's because I wanted strawberry cake. That's why.... that's..."
"Idiot!" Anakin interjected. "What are you saying?"
Jaina jumped, and then pushed back away from the table. In one smooth movement, she was up and running for her room.
"Jaina!" he called after her, even though he didn't expect her to stop.
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Anakin stopped in front of Jaina's door. He stared at the simple barrier, and then looked down at the plate he held in his hands. Gently, he rapped on the door three times. He waited, hoping that she would respond. Some part of him, knowing better.
"Jaina?"
There was no response.
"I'm going to the Temple," he told the door. "I need to tell the Masters, and pick up our bags."
There was still no answer, and he looked down at Ikrit, where the creature was calmly sitting near his feet. Sighing, he knelt down and placed the plate on the floor.
"I'm leaving your food here. Make sure you eat."
Then he left and went to the Temple.
Once he had finished talking to the Masters concerning Mara's conditions, Anakin went and retrieved his and Jaina's school bags from their classroom. Then he wandered back towards the front of the Temple, intending on going home to Jaina. As he neared the stairwell leading to the ground floor, someone called out, "Anakin!"
He turned and tossed a glance over his shoulder to see Raynar running towards him. He forced a grin to his lips, and replied, "Hey."
Raynar stumbled to a stop in front of Anakin. "Uhm... so how is she?"
"She's still getting treated."
"I see," Rayner replied. "How's Jaina?"
Anakin looked away, not really wanting to tell Raynar how Jaina was behaving.
After a moment, Raynar blurted out, "I see." Then he dropped his hands onto Anakin's shoulders. "Hang in there! If there's anything I can do, then I'll do it."
Anakin watched his friend for a moment, and then nodded his head. "Yeah... thanks."
As he left the Temple, and began the walk towards the apartment, he saw a smattering of hulls on the ground. He stopped in his tracks, recognizing the hulls as being the shells of vweliu nuts.
Suddenly, images flashed across his mind once again. Him, knocking away the rhyscate that Jaina had made him, even as he raised his hand to strike his sister. Pain and sorrow gripped his heart, as his shoulders slumped under the weight of the memories, and the emotions they unlocked.
Once he arrived back at the apartment, he went to Jaina's room. The plate of food he had left her still sat in the hallway, and Ikrit sat beside it, staring intently at the closed door to Jaina's room.
He rapped on the door twice. "Jaina, I've come back. I... I stopped by the medcenter, but there's not been a change so far." No response came to him, and he frowned. "You're in there, aren't you? I'm coming in."
He grabbed the handle, but it refused to turn.
Frowning at the handle, he continued speaking. "Hey, I've got your books and bag from school, so open the door already."
Jaina finally responded, her voice quiet and weak. "Just leave it there."
"Jaina! I want to talk to you," he said as he began to beat heavily on the door.
"Stop it," the quiet voice replied.
Anakin ignored her, and continued to beat on the door. "Jaina!"
"Stop it!" she screamed at him. Startled, he took a step backwards, and a moment later she continued speaking, once more in the quiet, weak voice. "Please. Just stop it. I'm sorry, Anakin."
He dropped her bag beside the uneaten plate of food, and then went to his room. Throwing his own bag onto his bed, he sat at the desk. On top of it sat the small winged doll, Tahiri's lost item. He sighed, and opened one of the drawers, and picked up a thin flimsie with a still image on it. A still image showing, himself, Jaina, Mara and Sannah.
He stared at Sannah's smiling face, struggling to keep the tears from coming.
If she were around, he thought. If she were around right now, would she have brightened the mood?
The latch of his door shifted, and his head snapped that way as it began to swing open. His breath caught in his throat, as he watched it.
Then he sighed, as Ikrit came strolling through, his large blue eyes watching Anakin. Anakin dropped his head onto his desk, allowing it to thump hard against the wood. Squeezing his eyes shut, he was once again granted an image of memories. Specifically, the memory of him raising his hand to hit Jaina. Of him, knocking the rhyscate she had made him to the ground.
Then another memory came to him. A newer one. Jaina in the kitchen helping Sannah prepare a rhyscate, an odd, sad look in her eyes. Noticing him, she turned towards him and had asked, "Anakin, does the smell of this rhyscate remind you of anything?"
He felt a tear escape, and slice its way down his cheek. "So she remembered that all these years," he muttered to himself. "But... why was I crying that day?"
He lifted his head, and looked out the window. I remembered Sannah, and Tenel-Ka and even Jaina... but I'm still forgetting something. Something.... And I know that it's very important.
The next morning, Anakin once more knocked on Jaina's door. "Jaina, I'm going to the medcenter. I'll just leave your food here."
No answer came, and he sighed, and left the apartment.
Once he arrived at the medcenter he spoke shortly with the doctor and then sat with Mara for a while. Once the silence began to eat at his mind, he went to the Temple and spoke with Master Horn, explaining that they would still be out for a few more days. Then he went and bought some more food. As he walked through the produce section of the market, he noticed a container of wveliu nuts. He sighed, and quickly made his purchases and returned to the apartment.
When he opened the door, he found Ikrit waiting for him, sitting, watching; his blue eyes as piercing as always. As soon as Anakin had entered the apartment, Ikrit turned and darted into its depths, heading towards the hallway where the bedrooms were.
Anakin dropped his bags, and followed Ikrit into the hall and noticed that Jaina had eaten some of her food.
He knocked on the door again. "Hey Jaina? Have you calmed down now?"
Ikrit weaved through his feet, and butted the back of his legs. Then he darted forward and started scratching at Jaina's door. Hesitantly, Anakin reached out and gripped the handle, and twisted. Surprise shot through him as the door unlatched.
Pushing it open, he called out, "I'm coming in."
Slowly, the door swung open. The lights were out, the room itself neater than he could ever remember seeing it before. Sitting on the floor, in the darkest corner, near one of the windows was Jaina. She was huddled into a ball, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs with her back facing him.
"Anakin," she said. "Get out."
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Jaina's voice was cold, harsh and filled with grief and pain as she said, "Get out Anakin. I don't want to talk to or see anybody right now. I... I want to just be alone."
Anakin frowned at his sister for a moment. "It's been a while, Jaina." He laughed nervously, as he continued. "Was my cooking good? Of course compared to Aunt Mara's it'd be-"
At the mention of Mara's name, Jaina's back tensed, her whole presence seemed to deflate ever so slightly.
Anakin sighed, and watched her for a minute before continuing. "Do you plan to continue blaming yourself? Mara will be all right. Do you think that she'd let something so small keep her from us?"
"Anakin... Can you make a miracle happen?"
Anakin's mouth dropped open, as he wondered what he could say to her.
"For the past few years, I've lived here with Aunt Mara. Ever since... Jacen... You remember Jacen now, don't you Anakin? I know you two never got along all that well, but he loved you. He was my twin, I know it. I, I felt it. Yet, when he died, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't breathe, or eat or even sleep. Mom and Dad fought so often, and when they weren't fighting, they were treating me with kid gloves. Trying to make sure that I didn't break or cry. Yet that was what I needed. Finally, I couldn't stand being there, in the house where we all lived, any more and I fled. Aunt Mara found me two weeks later on Azbrian.
Jaina paused for a moment, sniffling back tears. "She asked me to be her apprentice, and I came to Yavin IV with her, and we've been here ever since, save for the occasional mission which Uncle Luke would send us on. She... she saved me. She told me that it was okay to cry; to rage against the universe. That I could be angry and miss Jacen, but that I couldn't let it control me. She taught me how. I was hurting, missing the bond with my other half--with Jacen. And the training bond saved me. It gave me an anchor on which I could rebuild my life. But here I am, once again alone. Only... only this time it's my fault that my anchor is gone. It's my fault that I'm all alone."
"You're not alone," he replied. "You've got a lot of friends up at the Academy: Kiori, Raynar, and your teammates. And I'm here as well."
"You?"
"Yeah. I'm right here by you, aren't I?"
"Six years. After forgetting about me for six years?"
Anakin felt the pain of her accusation stabbing deep into him.
Then she spoke another word, one he could just barely make out through her tear strained voice. "Liar."
She started crying in earnest, and after a few minutes, looked up at him. He could see the tears shining brightly on her cheeks. "You never took any of my calls, never replied to any of the messages I sent you."
"But I did view them all."
"When I never heard anything back from you, I wondered if you had even forgotten me. I..." she paused, and exhaled. "When I went to pick you up at the landing field that day... I was scared. Scared that you would have forgotten my name. Scared that you had forgotten me."
He squeezed his hand into a tight fist, and started walking towards her. "I remembered what happened at the landing field that day six years ago. What I did." He knelt down beside her. "I... I'm sorry about the ryshcate. Won't you forgive me?"
She lowered her head, and once more refused to look at him. "It's in the past."
"Can't... Can't I at least sit in here with you?"
Her shoulders started to shake again. "You can't. You... can't... "
The clouds outside her window parted, and brilliant light from Yavin flooded the room. Jaina lifted her head towards the gas giant, and started crying even harder. "I... I can't smile anymore... I'm alone again..."
"Jai-"
"Get out!" she yelled at him.
Startled by the vehemence of her reaction, he jerked backwards, slamming his head against her desk. He heard something rolling, and watched as the red marble he had bought her rolled of the desk, and dropped to the floor. It bounced once, and then came to a rest in front of Jaina.
He reached his hand out towards her, and she yelled once again, "Get out!"
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Anakin lay on his bed, his arms crossed beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Ikrit was curled in a ball beside him, softly snoring as he slept.
Miracle, huh? he thought to himself as once more the image of him knocking the rhyscate from her hands flickered through his mind. How callous of me to say that "I'm here" after forgetting about that for all these years... Frowning, he shifted his head slightly until he could see the small winged doll on his desk. But something like that happened years ago.
The world began to waver, as he started to drift off to sleep. Someone got hurt... and hurt badly... and I couldn't do anything about it.
The next thing he knew, he was once more dreaming. Running through the Academy, heading to the temple where he knew she would be waiting. He raced down a flight of stairs, jumping off the last five. For a moment, a grin slashed across his face. He knew that his uncle wouldn't have approved of that.
Then he was running once more. He turned a final corner, and then darted out into the open field in front of the Jedi Temple. Turning to the north-east, he raced into the woods, dodging low hanging branches, and pushing aside the vines that tried to cling to him. Finally, he arrived at their temple and found her sitting on a log, her arms crossed over her chest, and a scowl on her face. She looked up at him, and declared, "You're late."
He chuckled. "But you said I could show up whenever I wanted to."
"Even still, you're late."
Raising the bag he held in his hand, he replied, "Well, I brought a snack to make up for it."
Her eyes lit up with joy as her lips twisted into a smile. "Canapés?"
He laughed as he pulled out the pastry and handed it over to her. "Would I bring you anything else?"
"No," she muttered between mouthfuls.
Silence hung over them while they ate. Once she had finished, she looked over at him, her face falling slightly. "So, have you gotten all packed up yet?"
"Nope. Besides, you don't have to worry about it, because today's our last day."
She stomped her foot onto the stone floor hard. "It can't be our last! You promised we would get to meet again."
"Right," Anakin replied as he popped his last bit of canapé into his mouth.
She looked up at him, her green eyes wavering, her eyebrows upturned slightly. "You promised we would come here again."
"I know; it's a promise."
"Yeah," she replied sullenly. "A promise..."
"Tell you what; the next time I come I'll introduce you to my sister. I'm sure the two of you will get along great."
She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, and then nodded her head. "All right... I guess."
He stood up and held his hand out towards her. "Come on; let's get back to the Jedi Temple."
She grasped his hand, and together they raced through the woods until they arrived at the clearing. Anakin looked around and stopped in his tracks. Over near the large river was a silver raft. It glimmered in the brilliant light of the afternoon sun. He swallowed hard, knowing that he had seen that raft before in a dream. As if he were on autopilot, he walked towards it, Tahiri following closely behind him. Together they climbed aboard, and pushed the raft out into the river.
It wobbled slightly, and they both gripped the sides, then they were in the current, being pulled downstream by the powerful river. Anakin looked over his shoulder and saw the Jedi Temple shrinking in the distance. Then he focused on Tahiri who had a look of utter terror on her face.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She shook her head viciously, causing her hair to whip from side to side. "I... Nothing... It's just I've never been on water like this before..."
Anakin nodded his head, and then looked up at the sky. "This is the raft from our dreams, but the sky is blue and clear."
Tahiri lifted her head to look up at the sky, and slowly nodded.
In silence they traveled further down the river. Suddenly the sky darkened, and with a crack of thunder rain began to pelt them. Tahiri screamed in surprise as the first fat drop of water struck her nose.
The river, barely calm at the best of times, developed a chop, and began to rock the boat hard.
Lightning struck a tree on the back, and it crashed into the river. The wave from the tree's collapse slammed into the side of the boat, capsizing it. Tahiri's scream was cut off when she struck the water.
Anakin hit the water hard, and the breath exploded from him. He broke the surface a moment later, and frantically began looking around for her.
A splash sounded close by his ear, and he looked up just in time to see another fist-sized piece of hail slam into the water.
"Tahiri! Tahiri!" he called out, growing more and more scared as she did not appear.
Finally she broke the surface about two dozen meters from him. He began swimming over to her as fast as he could. Ten meters from her, was when it happened. It was another chunk of fist-sized hail. It was a hard, hollow sound, and she went under almost immediately.
He screamed her name once again and taking a deep breath, he dove in after her. Following the trail of red left in the water, he swam deeper and deeper. His lungs began to scream with the need to breath, but he pushed on. He touched the bottom, and found her. He pulled her to him, and then pushed off the river bed as hard as he could. Pain etched at his sides as he kicked towards the surface, the need to breathe a painful burn in his throat, chest and even tracing around to his back.
Finally he broke the surface, and sucked in a deep breath. He looked down at Tahiri, and saw how pale she was, almost a blue color, and began swimming as hard as he could towards the shore. His arms and legs burned with the exertion, and he felt hot tears mingled with the freezing rain and river. Finally, he made it to the shore, and he drug Tahiri out of the river and up into the forest.
He laid her as close to one of the massive trees as he could; used it to shelter them from the worst of the hail and rain. He shook her slightly, and with a start realized that she wasn't breathing. Squeezing his eyes shut, he struggled to remember the CPR lessons that all the Jedi trainees were forced to take. Uncertainty tugged at him, as he tilted her head back, and then took a deep breath, and pressed his lips to hers, exhaling forcefully.
Pulling away slightly, she still did not respond, so he repeated the process.
She coughed, spitting out a mouthful of water in the process.
He barked a laugh through his tears, as she opened her eyes.
"An... Ana...kin..."
"Don't talk," he cried out. "I'll get Uncle Luke and Master Cilghal."
"I...it...."
Anakin reached out and grasped her hand. As he lifted it, he noticed the blood that had pooled beneath her, and his body hitched. "It's... it'll be all right."
"I... fell in..." she replied as a tremor raced through her body. "I knew I had nev...er swam before.... but I..." She blinked her eyes, and gasped. "I... I can't feel the pain anymore."
"That's good, isn't it?" Anakin responded, scared somehow at how dim her eyes had gotten.
Those green eyes, which usually were so bright with life and laughter, shifted towards him. "Anakin, what's going to happen to me?"
"I... You're not hurting, so it'll be fine."
"I can't move, Anakin. Why can't I move?"
He squeezed her hand tighter. "It's all right if you can't move. I'll carry you back to the Temple."
He watched as tears flowed down her cheeks. "If I can't move, how can we... have more adventures? How can we play... again?"
Anakin felt his own eyes burn with tears, and he scrubbed his face with his free hand.
"Anakin?" Her voice was weaker now, barely a whisper. "Will you... play with me... again?"
"O-of course."
Her lips twitched into a smile, as her eyes began to shut. "Th-then it's... it's a prom...promise..."
Her body convulsed once and then went limp, and she shifted slightly. Anakin tilted his head back, and screamed "Tahiri!"
With a start, Anakin bolted upright. Tahiri's name still echoing around his room, and Ikrit was sitting at the foot of the bed, his blue eyes watching him. Anakin covered his face with his hand, his entire body shaking from the dream. He looked up, and saw the small doll sitting on his desk.
Without really thinking about it, he jumped out of bed and snatched up the doll, and then he raced out of the apartment. As he was leaving the building, he ran into someone. Stumbling, he twisted around to look at who it was, and found Raynar standing there.
"Raynar."
Raynar turned around, and looked at him, a frown on his face. "I came to check on you and Jaina." He lifted a bag of food. "And I brought something for dinner. Is something wrong?"
"Raynar... I... I remember. Now I remember."
Confusion was evident on his face. "Huh? Remember what?"
"Tahiri's.... Tahiri's...."
"Uhm, what's wrong with Tahiri?"
Anakin shook his head, and began running again. "Take care of Jaina for me."
"Hey! Anakin!"
But Anakin ignored him, and raced towards the river, and the Temple just beyond it.
As fast as he could, he ran up the path, dodging branches and fallen logs. Finally, he arrived at the melted temple, and stood there clutching the small doll, as he turned in a circle. "Tahiri!"
Frowning when she didn't respond, he raced deeper into the woods. All the time, calling out Tahiri's name.
He crested a ridge, and looked down into a dry creek bed. Suddenly, a large rain drop hit him in the head. He lifted his face to the sky, as the rain began in earnest. Instantly, he was drenched. He turned to the right, intending to follow the creek bed for a ways, when the ground suddenly gave out from beneath him. His ankle twisted, and he could hear a snap even over the sound of the pounding rain, and pain flared to life in his ankle.
Then he hit the creek bed. The wind whooshed out of him, and he struggled to regain his breath. Finally, he was able to sit up. He looked around, and saw Tahiri's doll. Snatching it back up, he stood, and instantly fell back to the creek bed. His head cracked against a rock which jutted up out of the ground.
He lay there on the creek bed as the water began to flow around him.
If I just lay here like this, he thought. Will I be able to go where she is? I'm sorry everyone....
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