Pleasure & Pain: Chapter Thirteen

I look at the blonde Jedi one last time, some part of my heart soaring. I lift my X-Wing and get into orbit and hyperspace.

Then I start to cry.

By the time I arrive at Kalkalar 6 my tears are dried, but I can feel the fury of my Master.

As I land my X-Wing, I can feel the pain begin to build; the nerves in my arms and back feel as if they are on fire.

I welcome it. I had missed the pain.

I jump down from my fighter and begin the walk to Lumiya's chambers, my pain increasing with every step.

I smile. I consider the pain due punishment for attacking Tahiri.

That last thought stops me in my tracks. I finally realized who that blonde Jedi was. It was Tahiri, but older, at least a decade older, than I had last seen her.

But why then did Nethi look just like her? How long was I dead for? And why did it take me so long to recognize her?

I need answers, and know where to go to get them.

I can feel my anger as it drives that phantom pain away from me.

I stalk to Lumiya's chambers, my anger at her growing with every step, my hate increasing alongside my anger.

I can feel the ripples in the Force that my anger and hate create.

I burst into Lumiya's rooms, and can feel the Force writhing around me.

I see her standing by her bed, in a blood red robe this time. I gather my anger and hate and throw them at her.

She turns to me, and catches my Force Lightning, gathering it to herself. Then she laughs as she releases it back at me.

The lightning hits me, and flings me backwards. I can hear someone screaming and can feel my mouth wide open. I shut my mouth and the screaming stops.

I push myself back into a sitting position as Lumiya throws more lightning at me.

When she stops, I find that I have curled into a fetal position. Finally I have enough presence of mind to focus on what she is saying. "You have failed me Anakin. You promised to serve me, and yet you were unable to kill that single foolish girl of a Jedi!"

She lifts me up by the front of my tunic, and throws me across the room. I land on the bed and roll off the far side, crashing hard onto the marble floor, knocking the night stand over onto me.

"I gave you everything. A release from the pain, pleasure, satisfaction, and Nethi to do with as you please, and this, this is how you repay me?"

She is in front of me again, picking me up and flinging me across the room once again. This time I land on her desk, scattering datapads and flimsies. My momentum and the smooth top of the desk carry me across, and I fall once more to the marble floor.

"For your failure, you will lose Nethi."

At that pronouncement, I feel a fresh surge of hate and anger. I lift the desk in front of me and throw it at Lumiya. It slams into her and knocks her back onto her bed, the desk landing atop her.

Then I am rushing out into the hall to my rooms.

I quickly enter and bolt the door, looking around for Nethi. I see her sitting on one of the couches in a corner and rush to her side.

"Nethi, we are leaving this place, is there anything you need to get?"

"Anakin? What are you talking about?"

I look towards the door as Lumiya begins banging on them. From the booms, I can only assume it's something big and heavy.

I turn back to Nethi. "No time love, we're going now."

I grab her hand, pulling her to her feet and start walking towards the door.

I pick up my desk in the Force and close my eyes in anticipation.

As Lumiya finally bashes in the doors to my room, I fling the desk in that direction. It catches Lumiya full on, and sends her flying back into her rooms.

I run out of the room, dragging Nethi along with me.

"Anakin please, what is going on?"

I turn to look at her, and see her fear and confusion etched on her face. "I failed my mission. Lumiya said she was going to take you from me; I could not let that happen. I cannot let that happen."

Her eyes become pools of emotions, her Force presence broadcasting them, fear, hope, expectation, and a whole host of others. "Why? Why is it so hard for you to give me up?"

"We don't have time for this?"

"Anakin please, I must, I need to know."

I stop us, and look at her. Her gaze captures mine again, and I realize I can't hide from her. "I can't give you up because I love you."

Then I am kissing her. I can feel her joy as it is one that matches my own.