Jedi Adept: A Path in the Dark Ch. 2

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Tahiri watched as Noelani ran through the door to the stairwell. As the door slowly swung close, she turned back towards Luke and through clenched teeth hissed, "Well, Luke, I hope you're proud of yourself".

Her eyes flicked between the Masters, finally ending up on Tionne who stood next to her, watching the door that Noelani had disappeared through. A moment later Tionne's eyes slid away from the door to focus on Tahiri.

Pain and grief were evident on Tionne's lined face, making her look even older than before. Conflicting emotions warred in her chest for a moment. Tahiri managed a small smile, more of a grimace really, and then spun on her heel, and stormed from the Council Chambers.

With a flick of the Force, she flung the doors shut behind her, the boom it caused echoing through the small room, making the Padawan on guard jump in fright.

Anger boiled through Tahiri, threatening to consume her. For weeks, she had attempted to meditate the anger away, attempted to resolve the conflict in her heart. Yet it was constantly there, just beneath the surface, an anger, a hate, one that burned brightly in her chest.

She had yet to even consider forgiving Luke for what he had done to them. Something made even more inconceivable to her after this latest betrayal.

Her body tense, clenched, she stomped down the stairwell, heading towards the quarters that she had shared with Noelani. She moved through the Jedi Temple like a wraith, skirting the edges of the groups of Jedi that wandered the hallways, until finally she was at her quarters.

She stepped through the doorway, and pain slashed through her. The common room was right there before her, a mishmash of hers and Noelani's personalities. The room was decorated with a smattering of eclectic belongings; souvenirs from missions and training, there was even a shimmering holograph of the two of them on the Skorch fields of Ossus. That was sitting on a shelf in the corner, easily visible from Tahiri's vantage point by the door.

Everything about the room stung at her; painful reminder of everything she had lost; gained and then lost again.

Her fists clenched tight again, the pain from her fingernails digging into the flesh of her palms clearing her mind. She walked through the common room into the third bedroom, the one she had set up as a meditation room in what was beginning to feel like another life.

She walked to the center of the room, and exhaled, trying to calm the inferno in her soul. She sank down to her knees, and then twisted her legs together as she assumed a classic meditation pose. She closed her eyes, and began the simple breathing exercises that she had been taught her first year of training. The simple breathing exercises that were probably the very first thing she had ever learned at the Jedi Praxeaum.

With a jolt, she remembered that Anakin had been by her side when she was learning this exercise, his right knee gently touching her left; as they both had their eyes closed and listened to what Tionne was telling them.

Her mind supplied the appropriate memory.

Tionne walked through the ranks of the young Jedi. Anakin right there, their bodies so close, she could smell the shampoo he used.

"Inhale. Exhale." Tionne commanded them. She took a few more steps. "It's deceptively easy. Everyone breathes."

"Not everyone," Anakin had interrupted then.

"I'm sorry, Anakin? What was that?"

She could feel the burst of embarrassment from her friend, and for a moment, she was startled from the memory. She had forgotten how close their bond had been, even back when they were untrained students.

Then the memory once more exerted itself, with Anakin saying, "Not everyone breathes. For example the Gand don't breathe, but rather get the essential elements needed for respiration through consuming food."

Tahiri remembered giggling at this; at the look of exasperation on Master Tionne's face.

The Jedi Master had rubbed at her temple for a moment, and exhaled slowly. Then she had smiled at Anakin. "That may be, but there are no Gand in this room. Everyone here breathes."

"Oh," he had replied, and then once more closed his eyes.

Tionne resumed her circuit around the room. "It's a deceptively easy practice, yet focus on what you're doing. Think about the mechanics and then picture when you are exhaling, you're blowing out all the frustrations, annoyances, and all the emotions which are struggling to break your concentration. Then imagine that when you are inhaling, you're breathing in the serenity of the Force itself."

Tahiri felt her lips twist slightly at the memory. She hadn't realized then that what Tionne had been doing was that very same breathing exercise when she was talking to Anakin.

She focused on breathing. On inhaling and exhaling. On breathing in serenity and breathing out the anger.

Finally, she felt her mind beginning to calm. She felt the fire that burned in her chest begin to bank slightly. A wave of relief rushed through her.

She opened her eyes, and glanced at the chrono. With a start, she realized that nearly twenty hours had passed from when she entered the room and now.

Her stomach grumbled and with a groan, she leveraged herself up from the sitting position she had been in. Her joints popped as she stretched out. She looked around the small room which Nelani and she had decorated, and grief over what had happened slammed into her again.

She dropped back to her knees, her back curling as she leaned over them. A wave of sobs wracked her body, as she shook with the fierceness of her emotions. The tears streaked down her face, and she lifted a balled fist and slammed it into the padded floor. Lifting her head, she saw a vase on one of the shelves. It had been a naming day gift from Cilghal two years ago. With a snarl, she stretched out her hand and a wave of Force energy slashed out, and struck the vase. It shattered, and for a heartbeat, Tahiri felt better, cleaner.

Then the anger and grief crashed in on her again, threatening to engulf her once more.

She covered her face with her hands, and fresh tears shook her body. I, I can't do this… I can't be a Jedi anymore. I'm sorry, Anakin. I'm so sorry.

After what seemed like forever, her tears dried up again, and all she was left with was an aching, empty feeling in the pit of her stomach; an open, hungry hole, waiting to consume her. She pulled herself up, and stumbled out of the room, her eyes catching Anakin's saber where it rested on a shelf next to a hologram of him. Her shoulders hitched at his lop-sided grin, and she grabbed both items up off of the shelf. Cradling the saber and the picture in her arms, she walked into her room.

Little mementos were all around her, and she dropped the saber and the hologram onto her bed. Then moving in a daze, she grabbed the travel bag from her closet, and threw in half a dozen changes of clothes, and a few additional belongings.

Gingerly, she picked up Anakin's lightsaber and pushed that into the bag as well, then followed that with his hologram. Finally, she walked over to the shelves that lined the wall, and plucked up a few additional holograms, concentrating on the ones that had Noelani in them.

Putting those last few things into her bag, she walked out of the room. Crossing the common area, she stuck her head into the room which, until recently, was Nelani's. She inhaled deeply, smelling the gentle soap which her little girl used. Her eyes flicked around the room, noting the small gadgets that were haphazardly strewn around.

Her body hitched again, this time though she fought the tears.

She turned around and left the room, and then the apartment. Quickly, she moved down the hall, and thumbed the page button for the turbolift.

Ten minutes later, she was standing outside the Council chambers, staring at the closed door. Her eyes flicked over to the young Arcornian Padawan who was standing guard.

She stepped forward, placing her hand on the door. The Arcornian glanced at her, and swallowed nervously. "I'm sorry, Knight Veila, but the Council is in session and has asked to not be disturbed."

Tahiri glanced at him, and grinned. "It'll be okay, Padawan. I'll only be a minute."

Before he could reply, she pulled the doors opened with a slight touch of the Force. Once more the rooms reverberated with a loud bang. She suppressed a smile and walked in. Her head held high. Her steps even.

Inside though, her stomach was doing flips, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to scream, cry or just go hide in a closet somewhere.

"Knight Veila," Luke began, anger briefly clouding his features. "We were not expecting you; to what do we owe this… pleasure."

Tahiri's gaze flipped from one master to the next. Once she saw that she had everyone's attention, she focused on Luke.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Soul searching if you will. Pondering my past, my present, and my future. And I've realized something. You've karked over my life, Luke. More than once. And you know what? I'm tired of it all. I deserve better than this, and if this is how you treat your Jedi… well, I guess I can't be one then. So, I guess, this is good bye." She quickly looked around the room, her eyes lingering for a second on Tionne, and then she was once more focused on Luke. "I hereby formally resign from the Jedi." Tionne gasped, and Tahiri glanced over at her again. "Take care of my daughter, Tionne."

She pulled out her saber, and snapped open the case, carefully extracting the crystal from its interior. Closing it back up, she lifted her arm and then made a slashing downward motion, releasing her grip on the saber, even as she enhanced its speed with the Force.

A moment later she looked down, and saw half of the hilt of her weapon sticking out of the ground. She grinned slightly, as she realized it was right in the center of the Jedi Sigil which decorated the floor. Cracks in the marble spread out from the hilt in a spider web pattern; marring the perfection of the Jedi sigil.

Somewhat appropriate, she thought to herself.

She spun on one foot and calmly strode from the room. As she pushed the doors closed behind her, she could feel the Force erupting, as the Council devolved into argument.

Taking the lift, she went down to the ground floor of the Temple, and began her long walk towards the main entrance.

She had taken a dozen steps down the hallway, and then pulled out her comlink, and by memory entered a number.

It clicked with the connection and then a strained voice issued from the speaker. "Yes?"

Tahiri paused for a moment, closing her eyes. He sounds so much like his brother. Finally, she opened them again. "Hey Jacen, this is Tahiri. Do you have a few minutes?"

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