The Silver Star's repuslors hissed as the ship settled down onto the hard pack ground. About 50 meters away, Tahiri could make out the saucer shape of the Millennium Falcon. She looked at the ship, a sense of melancholy slashing through her. There was a time when that ship almost felt like home.
A time that she belonged to the family that calls it home.
But that was a long time ago now. Things have changed. War and deceit and lies had changed everyone. And not for the better.
She still thought of the Solo's as family. Yet Jacen manipulated and abused her. Jaina had basically ignored her these past three years. And Anakin, he went and died on her during the war with the Yuuzhan Vong.
That familiar, old pain flared in her heart and she sighed, rubbing the palm of her right hand against one of her eyes. As she did so, she wondered once again, when she had started thinking about Anakin this much.
She stood up; checking to make sure her saber was still attached to her belt, her hand lovingly caressing the simple metal hilt. Then she shrugged into her cold weather gear and left the ship. Trudging through the snow until she arrives at the Falcon.
As she neared, the ramp lowered, spilling out a golden, warm glow into the harsh, cold air. Tahiri stomped aboard, the ramp raising even as she walked up it.
She looked around: noticing the dull dark grey of patches stretched around the hull, and then continuing deeper into the ship, she headed towards the common area. She reached it at the same time as Leia, who appeared from the directions of the crew quarters –a smile stretched the older woman's face as she saw Tahiri.
It was a warm, happy smile. Something which Tahiri saw far too little of these days.
Then Leia was there, wrapping her arms around Tahiri. She felt warm and safe and happy. Almost like she finally had a family.
And those feelings were just another little thing that Tahiri felt too little of these days.
She could hear herself let out a small sigh as she leaned into the embrace – just happy at being held. Happy at the human contact.
Finally, Leia pulled back, the happiness still shining in her eyes. "It's great to see you again, Tahiri."
Tahiri smiled for her. "You too, Leia."
Leia dropped her arms and started towards the mess. "You're going to be able to eat with us, right?"
Tahiri followed her, saying, "I'd be happy to. How are the repairs going? Can I go get you anything you need?"
Leia shook her head as she pulled out some nerf steaks from the food preserver and begins preparing the meal. "No. I think Han has everything he needs to get the Falcon back in the air." She passed Tahiri a couple of jou-pears and a small paring knife. "Slice these into thin layers for me."
"Sure." Tahiri said as she took the fruits and knife from Leia.
As she worked, the sense of unease filtered back down over her. The thought that she was missing something. It was a feeling that had been growing stronger over the past few weeks – increasing the longer that the current Corellian unrest continued.
She shook her head and looked up towards Leia.
"Can I ask you something?"
Leia glanced away from the stove, looking towards Tahiri over her shoulder. "Of course."
"Do you ever get the feeling that you're missing something? Like there's more going on than you're aware of – but you should be aware of it?"
Leia pulled the steaks off the heat and turned to face Tahiri. Tahiri watched as the older Jedi looked down at her hands for a moment, her lips tightening into a thin slash. When she lifted her head again, she once more has control over her emotions.
"Yes. I've had that feeling since… since Anakin died."
Tahiri shook her head slowly from side to side. "This feels different than that. I still feel that pain, that dull ache where Anakin is supposed to be in my head and heart, but this is something else. Something… newer."
Leia tilted her head to the side, her brown eyes boring into Tahiri. "Do you have any idea what it could be?"
"No. All I know is that it's important. The Force is pushing all these little things at me, telling me that I'm missing something." She paused here, taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. "I don't know if it's related but I've been dreaming about him as well."
From the flicker of pain in Leia's eyes Tahiri knew that she did not need to explain which him she was talking about.
"What are the dreams about?" Leia asked.
"They're always about us. Me and Anakin. He appears and says things that I said. Take the one I had a few weeks ago, that was the first one I think. In the dream, I woke up and went running on Ossus. When I stopped to catch my breath he appeared before me, and saying the same things that I told him on the day that we met. All the other dreams are that way. They're him doing things that I know that I did – as if in my dream he's become me and I've become him."
Tahiri noticed the concern in Leia's eyes.
"Have you told Luke or anyone else about these dreams?"
Tahiri shook her head. "After the Killik Incident, I don't quite trust all of my peers." She bowed her head, averting her eyes from Leia's. "And for some reason, I don't trust Master Skywalker either."
"Why don't you trust Luke?"
"I don't know. It's just… I… Every time I see him, I have this feeling that he's going to… do something to me. I think he’s going to hurt me somehow, to take away something important to me. I don't know what it is, but I'm scared of him doing it. It's silly. It's irrational. But it's there. Every time."
Tahiri could feel her cheeks burning, and idly wondered when the last time that she had actually blushed was.
"You know he wouldn't hurt you right? I think he loves all of you young Jedi as much as he does himself. Sometimes, I think he loves you all more than he loves himself."
Tahiri let out a short, nervous laugh. "I know that. Like I said, it's just an irrational fear. It may even have to do with the fact that Master Skywalker authorized the Myrkr mission."
Leia nodded her head. "That sounds like a reasonable interpretation."
The two women fell into silence as Leia swiped up the juu-pear slices and placed them atop the greens of a salad, throwing a splash of oil on top of them all. She then set the steaks onto plates and placed a baked tuber beside each steak.
"Take these to the table would you?"
Tahiri nodded her head and picked up the plates carrying them into the common room and the gaming table settled into a corner of the room.
She put the plates down and then returned to the mess to find Leia pulling out a bottle of red wine and three glasses. She glanced up at Tahiri, mischief in her eyes.
"It's not every day that we get guests, and we just happened to have some Corellian Wine chilling already."
Tahiri smiled. "Sounds great."
As they walked into the common room, Han came from the direction of the crew quarters – his hair damp.
Leia smirked at him, glancing once at Tahiri before turning her attention onto Han. "Oh, so when it's just dinner with me, a shower is too much hassle, but if we have guests they're good enough to smell good for?"
Han gave a sly wink in Tahiri's direction. "What can I say? She's young and blonde."
Tahiri just shook her head as Han and Leia fell into their usual pattern of bickering banter. She slipped into her seat and began eating, not really paying attention to the others.
She could feel storm clouds gathering in the Force. Something bad was about to happen. She frowned, stretching out further, reaching deep into the Force. Visions, scenes, of the past and the future and the present slashed through her awareness. Anakin's smile. Her own laugh. Jacen's sneer. Jaina crying into her hands. The battle cry of a Yuuzhan Vong warrior. The electric snap of a light-whip. Tenel Ka falling to the ground, a smoking, lightsaber hole in the center of her chest.
Then a darkened room.
The only light from a flickering hand lamp. When it flickered on, it produced a cone of weak, orange light. A cone that highlighted a splash of drying blood and a wave of blonde hair that led into an avalanche of stone rubble.
"Tahiri?" Leia's voice snapped her back to the here and now and she quickly sat back in her seat, sucking in a deep, gasping breath.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm okay. It's. Just. I don't know what it was."
Han's voice floated out of the darkness. "Are you sure you're all right?"
She opened her eyes, and looked between the two of them; noting the matching expressions of concern and worry. She nodded her head and says, "Yeah, I'm all right. Sorry. What were you saying?"
Han frowned for a second and then glanced towards Leia. The princess shrugged her shoulders and Han turned back to Tahiri. "We need your help. We… we want you to help the Corellians in this."
Tahiri leaned back in her seat, pulling at a lock of hair as she thought. "I don't know, Han. It's one thing for me to be here helping you; it's another thing all together for me to help the Corellians as a cause. No offense, but I got coerced into doing things like that for the Killiks and all it got me was two years in the swamps of Dagobah."
Han sadly nodded his head. "We understand. Forget we asked."
Tahiri sighed. "Tell me what you wanted me to do before I make up my mind."
"We wanted you to be a spy for us. To feed us information concerning upcoming offensives against the Corellians. Give us ways to sneak food and supplies past the blockade and get information to and from Corellia to the other planets that are joining us. But above all, to interfere with the Galactic
Tahiri smiled mischievously. "So you want me to spy on the military and do whatever I can to annoy Jacen?"
Han barked a laugh. "Basically, that's what we're wanting you to do."
She considered a moment. "That would be appropriate revenge for what he did to me, to all of us young Jedi, during the Killik fiasco."
Leia's voice grew stern. "Revenge is beneath you Tahiri."
"Revenge for a Yuuzhan Vong is different than it is for humans. It's less about making someone pay as it is about reversing the effects of a decision."
Leia still did not look entirely convinced and Tahiri was about to explain more when the storm clouds that had been gathering in the Force broke open into a full-fledged maelstrom. A cacophony of fear and pain came to Tahiri through the bond she shared with her apprentice.
Tahiri clutched at her chest as she screamed out, "Noelani!"
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