Memories Ch. 1-2

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My dream.

This is my dream.

I dream of a land; green and alive.

It is a land of towering trees and dense undergrowth. Old-growth forest, though I never knew what that meant until I arrived at this place. Slicing through my dream forest is a river-deep, black as night. It is a wide, roaring rushing thing of powerful currents and deep pools. I stand here at the edge of this river, terrified. I know I must go on, that I must travel this river.

I know I won't survive if I do.

I glance out towards the east, and note the storm clouds as they roll forward. They are dark, dreary clouds that are heavy with rain.

I look down and push the small raft the rest of the way into the river. It rocks, nearly tossing me into the rushing current as I climb on. In the distance I can hear my name being called out. A panicked yell. A desperate cry.

Using the long pole, I push myself the rest of the way into the river, just as he breaks through the undergrowth. He screams my name again, and I can feel the strength he commands as he launches himself forward, a single jump which closes the distance that separates us. He lands on the small raft just as it hits a rough patch.

A single exclamation rips from my throat, a harsh, shouted denial. I have accepted the fact that I won't survive this trip. I refuse to let him come with me. I couldn't stand it if he did not survive it.

A crack of thunder rolls over us, as he stumbles backwards, the raft flipping from the sudden change in balance. I find myself flying through the air, another scream - this time one of terror - erupting from my mouth. When I strike the water, the breath explodes from me, cutting the scream off suddenly, and I panic. My arms and legs flail as I try to get back to the raft or even try to stay above the water's surface. Then I slide beneath the waves.

The blue-green water swallows me; I can still make out the bright circle of the sun as it is slowly covered by the clouds and the depths of the water. I strike bottom, my lungs burn as I try to catch my breath. Finally, I can fight it no longer, my mouth opens with the instinctive need to breath and water rushes in over my tongue.

Even from under the water, I can hear him screaming my name. Hear him, as his voice echoes in my head.

This is my dream.

My... dream.

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The sound of a large crash jolted Anakin awake. He grimaced at the sun as it streamed in through the wide windows of his bedroom. Confused, he looked around cautiously. Where am I, he wondered to himself. As his eyes traveled the room, he slowly remembered: the flight from Coruscant, arriving on Yavin IV, the apartment his aunt and uncle assigned him.

Then he heard the sound of something else falling.

The roommate. Jaina, his sister.

He sighed as he sat up. He gave the room another look over, and then twisted around, putting his bare feet down on the floor as he stood. Quietly, he walked forward, and opened the door to the hallway to find Jaina darting from her room. She skidded to a stop in front of him, a sort of panicked expression on her face. Anakin looked her up and down, noting the little things such as the bright flush on her cheeks and the way her shoulders lifted and dropped with her heavy breathing.

"Uhm, sorry Anakin, but I'm running late for 'saber practice"

With that said, she darted once more into her bedroom, the door sliding shut behind her. Anakin stepped closer, so he could speak to her through the closed door.

"I thought that training didn't start until tomorrow."

Her voice came from the far side of the door, muffled slightly by the heavy wood. "They do, but there's kind of a dueling thing, multiple teams from the different training levels. I'm a team captain." The door slid open and Jaina stood there dressed in a light linen tunic and Corellian-style pants. "And I'm late for our practice."

She rushed around him, heading towards the front door. As she reached it, she turned back to him and said, "Sorry. I'll see you later."

Then she was gone. He frowned for a moment, and then ran forward. He stepped into the hallway just as she boarded the lift. "Jaina! Wait a second."

She placed her hand on the door to keep it from closing, and looked at him expectantly. "Yeah?"

"You think you could show me around later, after you're done with your practice?"

She gave him a smile and nodded her head. "Sure!"

Then she pulled her hand back and allowed the lift doors to close. Anakin watched the burnished steel for a moment, and then started to turn to go back into his apartment. As his eyes crossed over the door to his Uncle's apartment, he noticed the red head that stood in the doorway, watching him. She was around his mother's age and the black catsuit she wore showed off the curves of her athletic body. Her hair was pulled back away from her face, tied into a tail which laid over one shoulder, and her green eyes flashed with amusement as she caught his stare.

"Uhm... Hi?" Anakin began hesitantly.

For a moment, worry replaced the amusement in her eyes. But then it was gone, and Anakin wondered if he had imagined it. Her lips twisted into a small grin, something mischievous. "Don't you remember me at all, Anakin?"

Finally, it clicked, and Anakin remembered her. His uncle's wife: Mara Jade. He allowed himself to smile even as he felt a blush crop up on his cheeks. "Yeah, yeah I do, Aunt Mara."

She stepped out into the hallway, and Anakin watched the way she moved. It was controlled and precise with a gracefulness which Anakin rarely saw in the courtiers of Coruscant.

"So, are you happy to be back? How was your trip?"

Anakin nodded his head a couple of times. "Yeah, I think I'm happy here, and the trip was fine. The Falcon didn't break down once the entire time."

"Good. Now come here, I have someone that you need to meet."

Anakin frowned for a moment as she stepped back into her apartment, and the door hung open, waiting, expectant. Anakin swallowed and quickly walked into an apartment that was similar to his own. He gave the living room a quick look over, and noticed a few minor changes in decoration, such as a white synthleather couch rather than the navy blue cloth covered one in his apartment, and then the shelves filled with a collection of mementos from his Aunt's and Uncle's life.

"Back here," his aunt's voice drifted from the direction of the bedrooms.

Cautiously, he walked towards where her voice came from, and poked his head into one of the rooms. The room was painted a soft, light blue, and had childish, cartoonish cutouts of Banthas and Ewoks plastered over the walls. In the center of the room stood a round crib, with Mara leaned over it. She glanced over her shoulder towards him, and Anakin noted how her face seemed happier, smoother; as if what was in that crib was a source of unending joy for her.

She straightened, holding up a toddler, somewhere around a year old. She quickly closed the distance between them.

"Anakin," she said, holding the child out towards him. "Meet your cousin Ben. Do you want to hold him?"

"Oh, uhm... I never..."

"Good, hold out your arms."

Automatically, Anakin did as Mara told him, and she placed her son in his arms. Ben looked down at the boy, noting the patch of light red hair that adorned the child's head and the clear, blue eyes that stared back at him.

The child made a nonsensical sound and then reached up and grabbed the collar of Anakin's shirt. Ben tugged hard at Anakin's collar, and Anakin found himself laughing under his breath.

After a few more minutes, he returned Ben to Mara, and then looked around the room again. This time he noticed the nanny droid standing against the wall and a series of shelves with toys and books next to it.

He returned his attention to Mara, as she straightened up from putting Ben back into his crib. Smiling, she walked from the room, a quick nod of her head in his direction made it clear that she wanted him to follow.

A few minutes later, Anakin was settled on the white couch, with Mara holding out a tumbler of some amber-colored liquid.

"Thanks," he said while taking the glass from her. He took a swallow and then began to cough at the burning sensation in his throat.

He glared up at Mara as she laughed at his discomfort.

When her laughter fell off, she looked at him, with the amusement bright in her eyes and said, "Hard to believe that you're Solo's boy."

Anakin dropped his gaze, and looked into the tumbler, watching the amber liquid and for the first time noticed the tiny golden flakes that floated within it. A sign of a good Corellian whiskey, his father would say.

"I'm just me," he muttered.

"Excuse me, Madame Skywalker," the nanny droid interrupted.

Mara turned that way. "Yes?"

"It is time for Master Ben to have his morning snack."

Mara nodded her head. "Thank you, Inoh. I'll be there in a moment."

Mara watched as the droid rolled back toward the bedrooms and then turned to Anakin once again. He had to force himself not to recoil from her eyes. They had lost all sense of happiness and amusement, becoming pools of an emotion that Anakin could not easily identify.

"Being just you is a hard thing to do." She paused here. Her voice dropped lower, causing Anakin to strain to hear, as she said, "A hard thing to do."

It felt to Anakin as if she was talking more to herself than to him. Then she nodded her head once, a quick, decisive movement. "Yes, it's a hard thing to do. But if you can do it, then it's worth it. Show yourself out?"

Without waiting for a reply she turned away from him and headed towards the bedrooms. Anakin stood and watched her disappear, a slight frown etched onto his face.

He took a last swallow of the whiskey, letting the burn in his throat and stomach warm him and then placed the glass on the small table next to the couch. Taking a final glance down the hallway where Mara had disappeared, he walked out the door and across the hall to his own apartment.

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