Jedi Adept: A Path In The Dark -- Ch. 23

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Noelani banked the ship slightly, watching as the building beneath them burn. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

A few moments later, Asyra'mata slipped into the co-pilot's station. She herself had sat in that seat so many times, with Tahiri here at the controls. It didn't seem right for someone else to be sitting there.

With the back of her hand she wiped away some of the tears, even as she made another circuit of the building.

"Are we going anywhere, or just flying in a circle until security shoots us down?"

Noelani looked over at her, and had to bite back the retort that wanted to come out. "I… you're right. We need to go."

Her fingers pressed the various controls, and the ship straightened up and flew level for a few hundred meters, until she punched another button. The ship sat up on its keel, and its ion engines flared to life.

Ignoring the cries from traffic control, Noelani poured more energy into thrust, leaving a trail of turbulence behind her which disrupted speeder traffic for kilometers.

Then they were out in space, and Noelani began inputting a course into the navcom even as the defensive computer began screaming.

She glanced over and saw the two cruisers coming over the horizon of the planet, on an intercept course.

"Kriff," she muttered.

"What is it?" Asyra'mata asked.

She gestured towards the scanners. "We've got company. I'm just hoping that we can get into hyperspace before they can get a tractor lock."

Finally, the navcom beeped, and she reached up and grasped the levers that would send them into hyperspace. She looked at the stars for a moment, wishing that she had not had to leave Chase behind.

"Good bye, Chase. I love you."

Then she pulled the levers. The stars stretched towards them and then fell away revealing the blue swirls of hyperspace.

She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as the tears ran freely.

Before long, the tears had gone, and she was left feeling empty and alone. She raised her head from her hands and glanced over at the pilot's station surprised to see Asyra'mata still sitting there.

Sighing, Noelani leaned back in her seat.

"Care to tell me what that whole lightning thing was about? It kind of scared me you know."

Noelani shifted her head so she could look at Asyra'mata again. "It means I failed."

The Twi'lek's eyes narrowed slightly and she leaned towards her. "What do you mean?"

"I gave into those dark emotions. I'm tainted now. I'm sure that even if I had wanted to go back, the Jedi wouldn't take me back now."

"There's a war on, they might do it."

Noelani shook her head. "No. There's no where for me now."

"So, what are you going to do with us?"

"Like I said, I'm taking you all to Papa. He's a good man; he'll take care of you all."

"That sounds like you're not staying with us."

"I'm not," she whispered. "I… I can't do it. I need to find myself again. I need to meditate and figure out what's happened. I need to know who, and what, I am"

Asyra'mata nearly leapt out of her seat. "Maybe I don't want that. Maybe I wanted to stay with you, did you ever think about that? I know that Jen and Prilla would want that as well."

Noelani shook her head. "I know. But sometimes what we want just doesn't happen. I can't stay. It's…. it's too painful. I… I'm afraid…"

"Afraid of what? Ever since I met you, you've thrown yourself at things that would send most people running in terror. What are you afraid of?"

"Of falling again. I'm scared that I'll lose control and hurt you or Jen or Prilla or Huff. That's what I'm afraid of."

Noelani turned away from Asyra'mata at that point, and once more covered her face with her hands.

She felt Asyra'mata standing over her for a few more minutes, and then she was gone, leaving Noelani alone on the bridge.

She wanted to call after her and beg her to stay.

She wanted to tell Asyra'mata that everything would be all right.

She wanted someone to tell her that.

What she did, was lean forward and cry.

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Tahiri knew she had screwed up.

She had been scared after Noelani had killed Lyria with Force lightning.

She had been surprised when Noelani had attacked the rest of the squad.

She had been so startled that she hadn't realized that Kirie was pushing her out into the hallway until after the door was closed and sealed.

Tahiri knew she had screwed up.

So she started to cut her way back into the room. She had to get in there before her daughter escaped. Her muscles quivered as she pulled the blade in a large circle around the thick steel of the door.

Finally, she had completed the circle. With a flicker of the Force, she pushed the circle into the room.

She looked in and saw the door opening. As she entered, she noticed that the children were rushing out through the door to the hanger.

Her eyes locked with Noelani's and she felt a way of sadness and longing emanating from her little girl.

Then she was gone. Tahiri lowered her face and started down the steps, to be brought to a stop by the discharge of a blaster. She focused on Chase and found him holding his blaster in one hand.

She took a step forward, and then Force flared in warning. His other hand opened up, as he dropped what he had been holding. Her eyes widened as she saw the thermal detonator rolling to a stop beneath Chase.

Instinctively, she threw up a Force Shield and was then slammed with a wave of energy from the detonator, and blackness claimed her.

An unknown time later, she woke to dim, smoke and dust chocked light.

She struggled out from the rubble and looked around, muttering a curse under her breath as she did so. Jacen's going to be so karking mad.

Frowning, she slowly made her way down to the bottom of the briefing room, hunting for any remains of Chase. Even now, she was surprised that he had sacrificed himself. She hadn't expected that. She hadn't even expected him to still be alive. I guess BioTech did more to him than we ever expected.

She stood at the epicenter of the blast, looking down at the slight carbon charring which were all that remained of him. The door that led to the hanger opened, and her hand instinctively went to her lightsaber.

She relaxed slightly as she saw that it was just Jacen and his usual retinue of guards. Then the Force wrapped tight around her throat as she was pulled to his hand. He held her, and she found herself looking into an angry storm of yellows and oranges and reds which had at one time been his eyes.

"I'm disappointed in you, Tahiri," he snarled.

Then the darkness claimed her once again.

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Noelani stood on the edge of the world.

Growing up, that's what she had always told herself that it was. This rim which encircled the pit that was the main courtyard of her home; she would stand at its edge and be able to look at the setting suns or just stare at the horizons all around her.

Now after all the things that she had been through, it just seemed so small and insignificant.

Yet she had never felt as far from home as she did at right that moment.

It had been three days since they had arrived. Huff had not hesitated in taking in the kids for her, but he still didn't understand why she refused to stay. Even now, she could feel him coming up to try and talk her into staying once again.

Part of her wanted to accept it, wanted to just curl up in her old room, and stay there.

Yet, the notice on the holonet stating that there was a bounty on her head for the destruction of the Guard facility on Coruscant ruled that out. Even if she hadn't needed to be alone, even if she hadn't needed to run from everything she knew, that alone would have been enough to drive her away from the kids and from her father.

That was the only thing she could do to protect them.

That was the only thing she could do to protect them from her.

Finally Huff was there beside her. She reached out and grabbed his arm, holding it tight against her, as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"You know you don't have to leave, right, Little One?"

"You know that I have to, Papa. Please don't argue this, it's hard enough already."

He sighed, and they stood together watching as Tatoo II made its inevitable march towards the horizon. Tatoo I was still high in the sky, and Noelani wished that both suns were setting at the same time. She had wanted to see that beautiful sight once again.

She had wanted to show it to Chase.

She took a deep shuddering breath, trying to not break down in tears again.

"Thank you for watching over my kids Papa."

He grunted, and she found herself smiling.

"Mama! Mama!"

She took a step away from Huff, and turned as two bundles of blonde girls slammed into her. She laughed as she hugged them tightly. Looking up, she saw Asyra'mata and Huff coming up out of the stairwell.

When the young Bothan saw her, his eyes lit up and he darted forward as well.

As she hugged the three young children, she found herself crying again. After a few minutes, she pulled back, and put one hand on Prilla's cheek and the other on Huff's muzzle.

"I've got to go away for a little while, all right?"

Jen frowned for a moment. "Can we go?"

Noelani shook her head. "No… all four of you are going to stay with Papa for a little while."

Prilla glanced behind her at the Twi'lek. "Asamata too?"

Noelani smiled at her. "Yes, Asyra'mata is going to stay with you. Now, I need you all to behave for Papa, all right."

In unison, the two blond girls chimed, "Yes, mama."

She grabbed them all for another hug and then stood up. Her Papa stepped forward and plucked up Prilla. "Come on you kids; let's go find something sweet to eat."

Jen cheered and rushed towards the stairwell, and Huff slowed down as he neared the stairs. He stopped and glanced at Noelani. Then after a moment, he descended down the steps.

Asyra'mata came forward. "I didn't trust you, you know."

Noelani gave a wry grin. "I know. I thought you something of a brat."

Asyra'mata laughed.

Noelani stepped forward and threw her arms around the Twi'lek. "I'm gonna miss you."

She felt the Twi'lek's tears on her shoulders, and was startled when the girl wrapped her own arms around her. "And I'm going to miss you as well, Noelanid'arklighter."

They broke the hug, and Noelani smiled at her. "Be good, all right?"

Asyra'mata grinned. "I can't promise anything."

Without saying another word, Noelani turned away and headed towards the ship. When she got to the ramp, she paused and looked back at Asyra'mata. The younger girl stared at her, and Noelani waved once.

Asyra'mata raised her hand, and then Noelani climbed the rest of the way into the ship. She went back to the bridge, and sat at the controls, quickly running through the pre-flight checklist. As she sent power to the repulsors, she looked out the window and saw Asyra'mata still standing there.

The Twi'lek raised her hand, and Noelani did the same.

Then she slid a control forward, and watched as the world around her fell away.

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